“Marriage: America’s greatest weapon against Child Poverty” is a important quote from Robert Rector. This quote from an article happens to be exactly what it sounds like. Growing up can be hard for any kid now a day, even in a normal family setting. Marriage happens to be a tool that seems to bind families and help children be the best they can be. Imagine being in a broken home where your family is divorced and always arguing when they are around each other. This causes kids to have to make hard decisions about who they want to spend their weekends with and how they will evenly spend time with each parent. Kids already have their own problems to deal with and rough divorces do not help the situation for anyone.  I have a friend whose parents were divorced when he was a young child and he barely ever sees or talks to his dad. When ever he spends time with my family he has often said comments like “man, I wish my family was together and spent time with each other like this”. Judging by what he was saying here, it is easy to tell that he was negatively affected by this divorce that took place when he was young and he still deals with it today and he is nineteen years old. This is just one example of many that explains why divorce can be bad for children. I believe that families that do not divorce and stay together provide better lives for their children. I will prove this using the sources that I have collected this past semester to help make a good argument.

A lot of people try to argue if divorce is good or bad for children. I say it is bad for children because of the affects that it has on them. It all starts with the parents not getting along and this is an uncomfortable time for any family. Then the process of divorce takes place and this is absolutely devastating for the kid because often times this is the first they are hearing about the divorce actually happening and it destroys them on the inside. Divorce has harsh short term affects because kids have to get used to the idea of this. The article “Is divorce bad for children” describes the short term situation when Arkowitz says “Divorce affects most kids in the short run, but research suggests that kids recover rapidly after the initial blow”. This article talks about how these short term affects can make kids grades go down and their moods change drastically in a negative way. If the divorce had not happened in the first place than these children’s lives would be a lot better because they wouldn’t have to battle this pain that is holding them back of what they want to achieve. The YouTube video “Voice of the Child of Divorce” helps to explain exactly what these kids are going through from an actual child. This is about the rawest information we can achieve because he is going through the process while he made the video. The kid talks about how he needs to carry on his everyday tasks and go to school and hang out with his friends. But the sadness from his parents’ divorce just lingers in the back of his head and upsets him throughout the day as he tries to carry out his normal activities. He states that “I wish I didn’t have to go through this right now but there is nothing I can do to control it”.  This obviously is not fair to the kid going through this because all of his friends that live in normal households are going about their day without this evil cloud of divorce looming over their heads. Their lives might not be perfect but at least they have one less thing to worry about than the kid who is talking to us in this YouTube Video. It just seems that divorce adds unnecessary burdens to these kids while it can be completely avoided by families remaining together and not getting divorced. 

Not only are children’s lives affected when divorces take place but when enough divorces start to happen then the society as a whole takes a hit. A lot of large and small components come together in order to form what we define as society. Society comes down to the people living in it in order for someone to determine if it is a good society or a bad one. As William Bennett says in his New York times article “If we have stronger families we will have stronger schools, stronger churches, and stronger communities with less poverty and crime”. This shows how important being together and being an active family can be. This directly shows how much better a kid’s life will be if he grows up in a household that is together, not only will the burden of divorce not loom over him but William Bennett directly states the facts on how societies are overall better when families are together. If you ask me than better schools, churches, and neighborhoods for kids is a exponentially better upbringing than kids who live in poverty and a broken home.  I personally want my future kids to grow up in a good society so each of us need to do our part in anyway we can. 

Not only are kids lives affected by divorce but other components of kids can be tampered with. According to an article by Jane Anderson she says “Children Living with Their Married, biological parents consistently have better physical, emotional, and academic well-being”. This means that more problems are going on than what meet the eye of bystanders when they watch people suffer from divorce. We all can tell that divorce affects someone’s emotion but many people don’t notice that it could also affect their physical condition. Divorce causes stress which could lead to depression and this causes things like lack of apatite or overeating. Many people pick up smoking to help deal with the burden of divorce because it seems to be their only outlet for relief. This is what Jane Anderson meant by physical problems of children suffering from divorce because people can actually become unhealthy from divorce. She lets us know that a lot more goes on than we really know when it comes to situations like these. 

Some people disagree with the idea that keeping families together will make children’s lives better. They make a lot of arguments for the small percentage times when they are correct. Often times when a divorce happens it is because the parents do not get along with one another, or they just are not in love anymore.  People talk about how that would be torture to spend everyday with someone that you do not like or you have no feelings for. When parents get angry they argue and shout and if they try to stay together than it can make a child’s life miserable.  A article by Brette Sember explains this when she says “While there is no question that divorce is hard for kids, it is a far cry better than raising your child in a violent, abusive, angry, or deeply resentful marriage”. In a situation like this; being together would be a nightmare for everyone in the family, especially the kids. This would not be an example of providing better lives for children because of the constant unhappiness that kids would have to endure every day. When this much disagreement goes on within a house than that is when abuse can come into play. If a kid or a wife is getting beaten than that would be a good reason to get a divorce because no one in their right mind would want to live with that. These are strong arguments that the other side of the discussion makes but overall I still definitely am sticking to my side because small cases and outliers like these cannot influence if everyone should get a divorce or not.

   Another article that make a good argument says a lot by just its name, it is called “11 reasons why divorce is better than a bad marriage”.  It brings up some pretty good points although a lot of them could easily be argued down with the exception of one or two.  It gives these reasons in circumstances that are really rare like only when kids are extremely unhappy when they are around their parents or if something like abuse is going on within the home. But one of the good facts that Brittany Wong brings up is “Divorce isn’t the thing that is affecting the kids but parents fighting is the true problem”. This is true because the physical act of getting divorce isn’t such a bad thing, but there are usually strings attached to a divorce that seems to make everyone unhappy. People say divorce in these circumstances are much better for the kids for a number of reasons. The main reason why divorce happens is because the couple does not get along and they make everyone’s lives miserable and that is why divorce is seen as bad. But once they actually get divorced than it can open up doors for the children to a better life. It is better that the kids grow up with one parent at a time and have a healthy relationship and be able to get along with everyone rather than being forced to live with people who shout and argue all the time. Kids become the person that their parents make them to be and if parents are too focused on their own affairs instead of the kids then they could put in place a lifestyle for their kids that they never intended. Parents can sometimes lose sight of what is important, although they don’t intend to it can really affect a kid in a bad way if they are around constant arguments.

Although the opposing arguments do bring up some good points, there are still a lot of circumstances that I would like to bring up that help my side of the argument. For example, there are a lot more negative things that can happen from a divorce than most people think. Most people think that kids and family member or mostly affected by divorce while it is taking place because that is when all the arguments and angry discussions take place. People also think that most divorce only bothers children but many adults in their mid twenties are devastated when their parents get a divorce so late in their life. An article by Jane Julien called “Never Too Old to Hurt From Parent’s Divorce” proves this theory that people are only affected by divorce when they are children and while it is happening are wrong. Many times when divorce happens to parents who have been married for 45 then they think that their adult kids can handle it, but this is not the case. This causes so many problems for the grown up kids for a number of reasons. In a lot of cases it hurts more when your parents separate when you are older because you have made so many memories with them over the years and they have helped you through some really hard times, then all of the sudden they get a divorce out of no where and it knocks you off your feet.  This causes problems in every aspect of their lives when this happens. For example, they struggle to go to work and carry out their jobs or it brings unhappiness into your own home. Many people say that being older when you get a divorce is worse because when you reach out for help it isn’t there because divorce help in catered to someone your age. Jane Julien says in her article “The only group for children of divorce I could find was for young children”. People just seem to forget about the older people who have to go through divorce. They are facing a really hard time in their lives and no one is there to help or reach out to their particular age demographic. Divorce in this situation make the child’s life extremely unhappy and can causes many problems of their own because this divorce happened at such an awkward and random time in the child’s life. If the family would have just stuck together than all of this heartache could be avoided and the adult child could hopefully go on with their life in peace.

A good article that gives us some insight on what is going on through some kids heads that have experienced divorce is an article by Kathleen Corcoran called “Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce”. She brings up a lot of good facts about divorce as well, one being that “over 50% of marriages end in divorce now a day”. This is an extremely high percentage for something as serious as marriage and this just lets us gauge how many people are affected by divorce cause everyone you know will be affected by it if you are the one getting the divorce. This can take a long term emotional toll on a kid who has to suffer their parents divorce and can actually change many things about someone’s life that you would not expect. Most people think that the kids get over divorce within a few years but studies have shown that is not the case. Major life decisions can be influenced by a divorce that a young kid’s parents had a while ago. For example, many people whose parents have gotten a divorce do not believe in marriage themselves because of the heartache that this divorce caused them as a child. One simple divorce has negativity influenced this kid’s life and that is not fair to anyone. Its like their parent’s marriage gave them false hope to make a love life of their own. This is not fair to anyone and that is why the child’s life would have been much more improved if the parents just remained together. It just seems like it is an unfair thing what parents who get divorces do to their kids because kids whose families are together do not have to go through this.

Everybody has different struggles in their lives that they have to go through. Life is hard enough and when you add divorce into the equation then a lot of things can change about a kid’s life. Parents staying together for their kids is so vitally important because it helps to lay a foundation for what that kids life will be like and it will make their lives as children a lot better and a lot of positives come out of it that will improve their life in the long run. As humans we care about our kids and we always want the best for them and we will do anything we can for them. Children’s young lives are delicate and important and what they are exposed to as young kids is what shapes them into what they are as adults.  Things like divorce just add unnecessary problems in these kids lives and it almost never makes their lives any better. Just like the kids in the YouTube video says “I would not wish this on anyone”. Kids are important to keep happy and successful because they are the future and they have their whole lives ahead of them and parents should always do what they can to make them the best they can be which is why families should remain together.         
