Ed Sheeran, an extremely popular singer, wrote a song named “Photograph.” This song is about a couple that undergoes the change from a normal relationship to a long-distance relationship. One of the most powerful lyrics in the song are “When I’m away, I will remember how you kissed me.” This one line gives the saddening feeling and makes listeners feel bad for the couple referenced in the song. What most people don’t do is think of the positives that distance can do for a couple. Long Distance Relationships (LDR’s) have a common reputation that they are doomed from the start, however, LDR’s are much more common than most people think. Long distance relationships have a positive and a negative effect on each partaking member of the relationship, but it’s how you let it affect your relationship that sets you apart from others.

Relationships are a delicate concept. Each one is different, and take a lot to maintain and to make last. Due to these facts, not all relationships are meant to last. They are not all meant to last forever, and some just are not meant to work at all. These stressful characteristics of a relationship in addition to the distance that a LDR brings is what makes them so difficult to maintain. Distance adds several aspects to the relationship that cause people to think that they cannot last. It adds a higher case of insecurity, and costs more money to preserve. This is because there are so many little things that those in a normal relationship (those that live near or within a small distance of each other) are not capable of occurring in a LDR. Mentalfloss.com did a survey on LDR’s and whether they were beneficial for each partner in the relationship. A large majority of the responses were positive and stated that the responder’s relationships ended in a very positive note and even exceeded the one year mark. Shaunacy Ferro, the author of the article on this website, bullet points several statistical facts about this topic, as well as lists several sources with which she conducted her research. This data shows the fact that long-distance relationships are not impossible, that they are functional, and can work for the long run if you put the right amount of effort into it. 

Dictionary.com states that trust is “the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, and surety of a person or thing.” Long-distance relationships rely completely on trust. Trust is not easily gained, and trusting the person you love every second of the day, even when you are not there, is extremely difficult. The inability to whole-heartedly trust your partner causes a sense of insecurity, causing unnecessary worry and fear. This added feeling of insecurity of the other person brings a whole new dimension to the relationship that otherwise would not be there. What most people do not realize is that living near your partner gives a subconscious feeling of security because you feel like “I live down the road from them, I do not have to worry.” This small feeling makes a huge difference when it comes to a relationship, and those in a long-distance relationship do not get this feeling because of the distance that they are required to endure. 

Long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain due to several reasons which is covered by Marion Chapman and her peers state in their scholarly article on this subject. They state that “The attachment that is formed between two people in a long-distance relationship is different than those that are close together.” The authors speak about how this attachment, while beneficial in some parts, might also be harmful to the relationship. This attachment causes partners to act differently when put in a certain situation. Each member of the relationship feels like they need to compensate for the fact that they are not together often, so when they are together, they form an attachment unlike no other. This “attachment” that is spoken about by the authors is one of the strongest things that a long-distance relationship has, and is what makes a LDR couples bond so durable. 

This article also claims that stress plays a large role in whether a long-distance relationship ends up working or not. Stress is generally formed easily and causes people to lose their temper quickly. Most people state that long-distance relationships fight more than those in normal relationships, and that it is why they “never” work out. What they are stating is partially true. A survey was done in 2014 where thousands of people were asked whether they were in a long-distance relationship or a normal relationship, and how often they fight. The results were as expected, and those who stated that they were in a long-distance relationship answered that they fought with their partner around once a day. This was significantly higher than those who answered that they were in a normal relationship, as the average for that category was approximately twice a week. These fights are a result of the stress that each member of the relationship is enduring. Stress gained through each person’s lifestyle reflects how that person reacts to certain things and to what people say. Someone who is under a lot of stress is more likely to react negatively than someone who is not stressed out and is generally having a good day. The fact that those in a long-distance relationship fight more does not mean that they do not stand a chance at functioning properly. If anything, it enables them to function better and more efficiently. The constant fighting, if they can handle it, keeps the couple from having anything boiling inside of them since they are always fighting about things. This makes the fights be smaller and less influential, and usually results in a happier couple and a better relationship. 

Long-distance relationships on a more specific note, during college, have many more positives than negatives for most people. The distance allows for each person in the relationship to focus on friends and schooling, while not being completely distracted by the other person as they would be if they were together. College is the place where you find the people you will be friends with for the rest of your life. Being in a long-distance relationship enables you to not only focus on your significant other, but also on the friends that you are going to have for the rest of your life. College is one of the best experiences of most people’s lives, and being able to focus on friends as well as your girlfriend/boyfriend allows for a much better experience. 

Long-distance relationships are extremely difficult for a couple to maintain and the probability of it working solely depends on the type of people that are in the relationship. Many factors increase and decrease this chance, but when looked at from another perspective, no amount on research and science will be able to tell if your relationship will work. Relationships and love are extremely sensitive and complicated things that no one will ever be able to understand every aspect to. A relationship depends on the kinds of people that are in the relationship, and how much each person is willing to commit to it. Love is a “go with the flow” kind of thing. There is no answer to it, and it is impossible for people to understand it completely. If your relationship is meant to be, then it will happen. It will find a way. If things start to go downhill, fight for it. Nothing is set in stone until you set it in stone yourself, and if you really want it enough and are willing to do what is necessary for the one that you love, then you can give it everything you have and maybe you will change destiny. 
