Children frequently struggle with making the right decision, whether it be socially or in school. They often lack the ability to think about the entire situation and figure out the best way to deal with their issues. Instead of letting children struggle with this issue why not intervene and assist in this process?  Teaching children how to think for their own is one of the most crucial parts of parenting. Children need to be able to make smart decisions as they start getting older and have less input from their parents. The process of being able to think for one’s self and devise their own opinion is known as being able to decontextualize. 

Parents may disagree that children don’t know enough yet, that without parenting they will be insufficiently prepared to face tough tasks by themselves. The purpose however, is not to stop parents parenting and to only let them experience things for their own, but rather to provide guidance. Children don’t know everything, obviously, but they must learn for themselves. They must be able to think for themselves when parents aren’t around to assist their decision making. As children grow older this will become more of a necessity, as their independence grows the need for independent thinking does to. Being able to identify issues and form a concise and effective opinion on a difficult situation is a very beneficial attribute. When placed in bad situations the ability to understand the problems at hand are crucial to success, in not only life but, as well as in in social situations and parents should focus on teaching their children how to do just that. A book entitled “Social Development as Preference Management”, written by Rachel Karniol, a professor at the University of Princeton, urges parents to teach children how to form their own opinions and ideas. The general argument of her book Social Development as Preference Management is based on the idea of how children’s social preferences develop in their childhood. In the first line of the chapter entitled Parenting and Preference Management, Karniol claims that “Children’s preferences are guided by socialization agents, primarily mothers, who have their own preferences regarding children’s preferences” (Karniol 92). The focus of the chapter is how parents affect their children’s preferences. She wants the reader to understand that, by exposing or not allowing children to partake in certain activities, the parents are placing their own preferences on their children. Karniol argues that parents should focus on providing their children with reasons and explanations, rather than forcing them into certain activities or trying to control their social life. The statement, “In providing reasons and explanations, children can focus on the short term, long term, and societal outcomes. To do so, parents need to teach their children to decontextualize” (Karniol 94). Decontextualizing is defined as “considering (something) in isolation from its context”, meaning that a person should take the entire situation into consideration before making a decision.  The main point Karniol wants readers to take away from the chapter is being able to decontextualize and form logical ideas is crucial to not only a child’s immediate success, but success in their future. Instead of focusing on feeding children with their own ideas about what’s right and wrong, parents should ask the question, “why?” Karniol’s conclusion states that, “Suggesting and conveying our preferences to others, having them convey their preferences and external preferences to us, and deciding how to implement this knowledge in guiding our behavior is the heart of human sociality” (Karniol 197). She wants readers to come away with the idea that being able to decontextualize is crucial to social success. Saying that in order to be successful in society, people need to be able to express their preferences to others, and being able to decontextualize is crucial to success. 

Parents often times want to shelter their children from everything they think could negatively affect their child. Of course putting a child in harm’s way won’t be helpful to a child’s development, yet not letting a child experience hardship of any kind certainly wouldn’t help either. Similar to the famous quote by philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” Experience and adversity is important in childhood as it plays a huge role later in life. Parents won’t always be able to do everything for their children and they will have to face important and difficult issues by themselves. Adversity is a testing point when it comes to being able to decontextualize. When placed in tough situations the need for the ability to come up with effective ideas increases 10 fold.  Parents should still take caution in what their children are doing, as children often need guidance in situations. Parents must allow children to experience things on their own as it will prove crucial later in life when dealing with similar problems. Experience is the only true way to learn something. People can drive cars in video games, or watch videos on how to cook, but until they do it themselves they still won’t fully understand how to address the situation. Adversity and being able to think for one’s self works the same way, parents can give their children all the advice in the world but until they are placed in something they actually have to apply it in, that advice won’t mean anything. Adversity is a necessary tool in the shaping of character. It builds strength, intellect, and gives people the courage to attempt new experiences. Adversity also provides people a base for relatability and a sense of credibility. Others can relate to a feeling a hard-ship especially if they were put into similar situations. It provides both parties a connection that relationships can build on. In conclusion, parents should allow children to experience. To partake in challenging activities, even if the possibility of negative effects exists, because without experiencing adversity, success when faced with difficult circumstances will be substantially more difficult in the future.

An early education is also very beneficial to a child’s development, and pre-school is an effective way of filling that need. Parents may believe that they can fill or do a better job of teaching than having their child attend preschool. This could be true in some cases, where the preschool is poorly run or have inadequate staff, but socially, parents will struggle with providing their child with a similar social environment than the experience of pre-school. Children will be exposed to social settings where they will have to interact with others at a young age. They will learn social ques and how to communicate with peers and teachers. The transition to kindergarten will also be much easier and stress free for parents as their children are already accustomed to a similar setting. This is also a perfect opportunity for children to start learning and applying the concept of decontextualizing situations. Preschool for most kids is the first time they will interact with other kids they’ve never met before, without supervision their parents. Although the concept may still be hard to fully understand at that age, parents should still nudge they’re children along into being able to make safe and good decisions independently. There are also many other benefits children can receive from attending preschool, an article written by Vicki Palmer, discusses her first-hand experience with the benefits of children attending preschool. Palmer, a 30-year veteran preschool teacher listed 13 key benefits children obtain as a result of going to preschool. A few of her key benefits include advantages in socialization, confidence, respect, and an enthusiasm to long-term learning. Even if children only pick up a few of these traits they will still be better off than their non-preschool attendee counterparts.  An early education in impoverished areas has also been shown to make a significant difference in both childhood and adult hood for students who enrolled into a pre-school. A study conducted by HighScope, a non-profit child development organization, studied the effects of introducing children to pre-school. The study was conducted in impoverished areas, with children who were “at high risk of failing in school” (Schweinhart 2). The article finds that children who attended preschool out preformed the children who did not in every category. Preschool attendees made far more money, had a higher IQ at both a younger and older age, and were arrested at a much lower rate. The benefits from attending preschool are useful in both early childhood and translate well into developing real skills that can be applied in the future.

Placing children in the best possible situation is crucial to their success. While parents often face struggles in their day to day life, whether it be social, monetary, or other day-to-day issues, parents should strive to provide their children with the best opportunity possible. By focusing on providing the necessary tools for a child’s success parents can also see improvement in their own well-being. For example, if a child is born into a home with many negative influences surrounding it, parents should put forth their best effort to get both themselves and their child out of that situation. By doing so, an adult who is pushing forward in a hope to make a better life could find themselves winding up with an opportunity they never thought possible. As a result, they could acquire a new job, and develop relationships that could positively change both their life and the life of their child. In a Ted Talk conducted by Tom Weisner, the speakers stretches the point of how important it is that parents put children in the best circumstances for possible achievement. If children wind up in the wrong crowd or are provided with negative influences their chance for success decreases significantly. Location of course isn’t the only determinate of poor environment for a child to grow up in. Influences and figures are also play a large role in the shaping of a child. Children being able apply the idea of decontextualizing could help significantly with the subject of influence. If children are able to think for themselves and understand what’s both good and bad about the people that are around them and then be able to interpret that information into situations they could apply in their own life, would be much more beneficial than having these influences affect them without a way to counter it.  Friends or other relationships that put a strain on a child can also have a  negative impact on a child. Parents should be actively aware of the affects bringing a negative influence into the house are. Children pick up on behavior from peers and social influences, but kids also pick up a lot from elders they look up to. Parents need to actively pay attention to both the example they set along with the example others in the house bring. Obviously if children are placed into a chance to succeed their chances of future and immediate prosperity are much higher, and parents need to do the best they can at providing their children with just that.

There are also many opportunities parents have to introduce their children to hobbies and passions that can keep them out of trouble while building healthy and life-long relationships. An example of this is sports. In an article published by New York Times, it’s stated that people who played varsity sports in high school had on average a greater chance of success in the future. A source cited in the article, published by Cornell University, states that people who played high school sports tend to earn more money, have more self-confidence, display leadership, and are also more generous with charity. Of course not every child has the opportunity to play sports, or at least not at the high school level, but there are still many opportunities and passions children can pursue. Introducing children to music is another way to help children achieve success. An article written by Glenn Schellenburg, a professor of psychological science at the University of Toronto studied the effects of music lessons on the brain in both children and young adults. His research found that children who partook in music lessons had a higher IQ, increased attention span, and many other benefits. This goes to show that getting children involved and interested in activities can benefit them in the future. Giving children a passion to pursue can also keep them out of trouble. Many sports programs, especially in high-school require their athletes to maintain a certain level of excellence above the rest of their peers. All schools require student athletes to maintain a grade point-average of at least 2.3, while many other schools provide extra study time, or don’t allow athletes to play in games if they are caught causing trouble. There are many benefits of getting children involved in different activities. Parents should consider introducing their children to many things in their childhood as the benefits and connections they develop could be significant later in life.

Social media and internet usage has become a key piece of life in the 21st century and both teens and parents are taking note. With all the new forms of communication and online socialization there must be concerns about the effects it has on young teens. Many parents are worried that children will fall into the trap of not connecting with peers as they spend “all this time glued to their phones.” A study conducted by the Aslib Journal of Information Management studied online user’s satisfaction with socialization online. The study found both positive and negative effects as a result of exposure to social media. The article states “The usage of social media can bring users a closer relationship and a broader social range, thus their affection is to be fulfilled by the feeling of decreased loneliness and the perception of love, understanding and acceptance.” “In addition, the presence of perceived social support can also be beneficial to people’s life satisfaction (Nabi et al., 2013; Oh et al., 2014; Sarriera et al., 2012). Sarriera et al. (2012) argued that perceived social support has a positive association with adolescents’ personal well-being. Similarly, Oh et al. (2014) validated that perceived social support is the predictive factor of life satisfaction. Further, Nabi et al. (2013).” There are definite benefits from social media usage and provides users a social satisfaction. There are however issues with social media, such as “social overload.” The article defines that social overload is “When individuals perceive the stress from social activities, they have got into the state of social overload. It has to take an amount of time and energy to passively maintain the mutual relationships with friends, which may trigger negative emotions and disaffection with the status quo” (Liuhan 353). They also state that social overload can negatively affect mental health “such as emotion exhaustion, and decreased satisfaction of their social activities” (Liuhan 353). Another example of the importance of adolescents and young teens needing to be able to think for themselves. If children are taught to use good judgement online, just like in real life they will have a much greater chance of staying out of trouble. With the increase of social media and the online presence most people experience in day to day life, the need for increasing safety online is becoming truer by the day.  Parents should urge their children to carry themselves in a similar manner online as they do in real life, as the risk for getting in trouble online is always increasing. Parents should be careful with exposing their children to social media too early as there are negative effects. However, just like real life socialization there can be both negative and positive effects of social media. Social media isn’t necessarily good or bad for children, but parents should use good judgement with their children as social interaction online can have both positive and negative effects. 

There are always ways that children can placed in a better opportunity for success. Teaching children how to decontextualize is one of the most beneficial skills a child can learn as it applies in almost all of the suggestions listed that can benefit a child. Being able to get the most out of every opportunity will lead to better understanding and ultimately success. By placing children in opportunities for success, paired with the ability to decontextualize children will have a much better chance of prosperity in the future. Parents shouldn’t feel as if they are being told how to parent their child, but rather consider applying these suggestions to their approach of parenting. 
