Watching someone struggle with depression is torturous. Struggling with it yourself is excruciating. This is a disease that is commonly misunderstood. Depression deals with a direct attack on the brain and its emotions. It is very important to understand that depression is a sensitive subject, therefore it is open to a lot of misunderstandings. In order to set the record straight, it is important to bring awareness to people who do not know a lot about depression. A lot of these misunderstandings stem from a lack of knowledge on the disease and how it works. To people who have not experienced depression themselves, or have not watched someone else struggle with it, they are not able to see first-hand how crippling it is. It’s also a disease that is stigmatized as being completely controllable and something that one can simply think their way out of. Depression is an all-consuming disease that negatively impacts the victim’s thoughts and overall mindset. While depression is mostly known for its negative aspects, there are several positive aspects that one can gain from it. This means that depression is not all horrible, and that while people who have had depression would never wish it upon anyone, most of them would not change the fact that they once struggled with it. It is important to struggle with some of the short-term negative aspects such as self-harm, lack of motivation, and anxiety in order gain the long-term positive effects it brings like a sense of self-worth, deeper depth, and more compassion towards other people who struggle with depression themselves.

Depression begins with a lack of interest. This especially includes a lack of motivation. The first signs of depression start with a lack of interest in everyday things and activities that this person once found enjoyable. Things like watching their favorite television show, interacting with their family, and even leaving their room altogether as the victim usually feels the most at ease when they are in bed. This then leads to a lack of physical activity. They are missing school or work and falling behind in their everyday life. A lack of physical activity in depression has been linked to heart disease, strokes, and multiple sclerosis because of the decrease in immune efficiency (Collingwood). This lack of activity actually decreases the person’s heart rate variability, HRV, also known as a “psychophysiological marker for mental and physical wellbeing” (Kemp, 288). Reduced HRV has a significant impact on how well we mentally function with “motivation to engage social situations, social approach behaviours, self-regulation and psychological flexibility in the face of stressors” (Kemp 288). Going hand-in-hand with the decrease in immune efficiency, a reduced HRV has been known to cause “immune dysfunction and inflammation” (Kemp 288). Not only does the person suffer from a lack of physical activity, but they also suffer from a lack of mental activity. Because of the lack of brain stimulation, the person is incapable of realizing that anything is wrong with them, which means they refuse to accept any form of help. Already, the victim has lost an interest in most of their life; loss of the want to be social, the want to leave the house, and sometimes even the want to live. As mentioned before, this disease is all-consuming and prevents the victim from thinking rationally. 

Another unfortunate and more serious side effect of depression is self-harm. There are a lot of false impressions associated with self-harm with the main one being that those who participate in it are just doing so in order to get attention. While it can be a cry for help, the devastating fact about depression is that it completely affects one’s mindset. They begin to start thinking irrationally at no fault of their own. Most of the time with depression they only have feelings of emptiness. Once they realize that they are experiencing this lack of interest in activities they once found enjoyable, these people look for any way possible to make them feel something, anything. Self-harm is their way of feeling something when they know they are not feeling anything emotionally. Another reason that some people may find themselves involved in self-harm is because of built up anger or stress. They use it as a way to channel their anger and pain so that it is a concentrated form of punishment on themselves. Sometimes this anger stems from self-esteem and wanting to be better, but not being able to, therefore feeling like they deserve punishment. This is an outlet that they do alone without anyone noticing. and it can easily be kept in secret. It turns into this vicious cycle of being angry at themselves for not being a certain way, then angry for indulging in hurting themselves, and then angry for being weak and not committing fully to hurting themselves. A study in England and Wales took place between 2001 and 2002 in order to determine how many students aged 15 and 16 participated in deliberate self-harm. It is estimated that a total of 25,000 cases end up in the hospital every year in England and Wales (Hawton, 1207). Self-harm can easily be more serious than scratches and cuts. It is not unlikely for self-harm to turn fatal.

A major side effect commonly associated with depression is anxiety. Anxiety is now more widely known and accepted, whereas before it was considered taboo. Everyone deals with anxiety differently because it usually affects people differently. For some it occurs in social situations and for others it may occur when dealing with future events. Socially, people with anxiety have trouble with the number of people present, the type of conversations, or a mixture of both. People suffering with depression can also suffer from anxiety because of a fear of the unknown in their future. Things like an upcoming graduation, big move, or any sort of major life event can bring on long-term anxiety. Anxiety includes feelings of nervousness and hopelessness for current and future situations. A more severe side effect is specifically panic and anxiety attacks. These are sudden overwhelming sensations that include shortness of breath, nausea and dizziness, and chest pains that are similar to those of a heart attack. During an attack, anxiety can make someone feel like they are losing control and to doubt their own mind and abilities. Sometimes, the panic can even convince the person that they have a more severe type of illness at the time (Beating Anxiety). In the middle of an attack, the person is almost incapable of controlling the situation; they have to just let it pass. Techniques like controlled breathing and fresh air can help, but nothing can make an attack disappear other than time. During an attack the victim feels helpless, like the world is ending and they will not ever make it out of the attack. Again, these attacks occur with no warning so they prevent people from living their life normally day-to-day. This means that important events and opportunities can be missed due to a paralyzing amount of anxiety. A few hours after an attack, the victim is still usually a bit shaken up. They continue their day very cautiously; afraid of another attack. Living with anxiety on top of depression is a lot to handle and can also be very conflicting. It is a constant back and forth between being anxious about an event coming up, but not preparing for it because of the lack of motivation. Having both anxiety and depression at the same time is wanting to make plans with friends, but not having the energy to follow through. The worst juxtaposition of it all is feeling too much and nothing at all at the same time. (Borges). Anxiety is also something that tends to stay with the victims for a while, even after they have overcome depression. It is also a condition that people start seeing symptoms for at a young age, but can worsen with depression added onto it later in life.  

As mentioned before, depression can stem from a lack of self-esteem. In the process of struggling with depression and added anxiety, one’s self esteem can worsen. However, after overcoming depression, a greater sense of self-worth can be achieved. This means that the person now realizes their own worth and they can value life more. Unfortunately, before this realization, a lot of these people had found themselves close to taking their own life. Throughout this dark time, they were unaware of how precious their life is. Sometimes these people are so close to losing their own life that when they make it out on the other side, it is suddenly very clear to them how important life it. It is especially daunting when they were the ones choosing to end their life in the first place. This sudden realization is beneficial in the sense that their outlook on life has now improved. Life is now taken advantage of every day; wasting time is not an option, and telling someone how much they mean to them is an everyday occurrence. Melanie told Vice, that overcoming depression helped her to realize the “things [she] really wanted” in life, therefore she went out and pursued them. She actually went on to study the “distribution and determinants of psychiatric disorders in different sexual and gender identities” (Vice). There also comes a time after depression when the past victims realize that they would not have experienced some of their most memorable parts of life if they had not lived to see it. Terry told Vice that he experienced his first Christmas in years after his suicide attempt and that his “dream now is to just be happy” (Vice). These people are real life examples that life after depression is possible and it will be amazing. 

For a lot of people, depression can be daunting. It is real, it is raw, and it is deep. It is not just one feeling. Never just sadness, but more like a constant state of numbness. “It’s trying to see through a fog that seems impossible to dissolve” (Froio). With these feelings, people usually find themselves alone for a while with nothing but their thoughts. They begin to dwell on these thoughts, and discover more meaning for things that before were seemingly meaningless. Whether it is appreciating how the sun looks setting through window blinds or a sudden fascination with a darker shade of red, these small moments begin steps towards a greater depth for life as whole. Depression may be something that gives people “an opportunity to truly appreciate [their] beautiful mind and soul” (Coleman). More things in life begin to be enjoyable. For one high schooler, it was the little things that added up. “I read poetry, sometimes even write it. I climbed onto the roof of a building just to listen to music and look at the stars. I watch independent movies. I’m learning how to play the guitar and speak to a kid at my daycare with sign language. All of this I would have never realized I was passionate about had [I not been] shown true depth” (Coleman). Suddenly the sun shines a little brighter than before and there seem to be more reasons to celebrate. Every day is a victory. 

 One of the most beneficial aspects of going through the turmoil that is depression, is the greater compassion these people have for the disease and other people who experience it as well. Coming out on the other side means that this person has now come full circle and they can relate to these dark times. Even just experiencing it, they are now more educated on the subject and how exactly it works. They now know what it does to one’s brain, body, and soul, because depression is now a part of them and their past. Now, these survivors have an amazing story to tell. If there’s one thing everyone enjoys and is good at, it’s talking about themselves, so talking about one’s personal journey with depression can be easy and will be beneficial for anyone who listens.  Just simply bringing more awareness to depression is productive. This decreases the amount of misunderstandings and misjudgments that are usually associated with depression and all it entails. A lot of the time when someone else in these people’s lives begins going through a dark time like the one they went through the person feels obligated to be the one to help them, since they know first-hand what they are feeling. They can give real advice, and they do not have to guess what their situation must be like because they already experienced the same thing themselves. They now know that one of the most important things to say to someone struggling with depression is the validation of their feelings. After the validation, one must “remind [them] of your dependability” (Golant). With all this newfound knowledge, a survivor of depression is more likely to continue to educate others about depression. It becomes easier to want to get involved and easier to be proud that they once had depression, but they were strong enough to get through it. Overall, they are more likely to make a difference, whether it’s to bring awareness and knowledge, or to help someone who is going through the same thing. 

No one ever said depression was going to be easy. It is one of the most crippling diseases to go through and to understand. To be able to conceptualize that this disease has everything to do with mental well-being is a challenge in itself. This is a sickness that cannot be snapped out of or prevented by efforts of trying to be happy. This is not a sickness that can be treated with a cast or chemotherapy, and it is not a 24-hour bacteria bug. This disease involves a lack of emotions and a constant state of numbness that cannot be controlled. It involves how the brain is able to function day-to-day and the different chemicals it uses to do so. That’s why medicine, despite its controversy, has been so effective. It balances the levels of serotonin and dopamine in the brain, making daily life more manageable. Therapy has been known to help, but like medicine it is not always 100% guaranteed to be effective. Depression is a complex condition that scientists are still not fully knowledgeable on. But here are the facts: depression happens, it is not fun, but it gets better, and the outcome will be amazing. 
