The present population of the world currently using social media sites now is at a record at 1.73 billion. This has created a social platform that has dramatically changed the dating scene and has influenced the idea of casual dating and early marriages. Due to apps such as tinder and other dating sites it is now easier to meet people and connect based on similar attributes. These databases also make it easier to gain access to many people that one would not normally cross paths with. People can seek out and find others who fit their “checklist” such has having a nice physique, financial stability etc. Because of digital media, Kelsey Phariss coined the term Fairytale Complex which is where one actively seeks out their soulmate who they feel will live up to the fantasy they have created in their heads. These various platforms have used this idea and made it easier to meet people around the world through different outlets in order to find that perfect person. The only problem is that now, since, people believe finding the perfect person is a possibility, people get pickier creating a cycle of casual dating which millennials mostly pursue in college where usually it is a time where there are numerous monogamous relationships. Because of this, the idea of marriage declines in favor of “hook-up” culture which in turn also leads to an increase in divorce rates. 

It is shown that there is an alarming increase of divorce rates in millennials in the United States due to lack of intimacy between couples resulting from the influence of social media. Intimacy, defined by Webster’s dictionary, is the idea of close familiarity or friendship; closeness. This lack of intimacy is due to the influence of social media, specifically dating apps, results in the idea that people are disposable. Based on the 2014 American Community Survey, there were 8.7 divorces and 17.0 marriages per 1,000 women. When calculated, the divorce rate is 51%. Many such as John Gottman and Carol Rusfeld, renowned authors and psychologists, have dedicated their lives to study why some marriages are successful and some marriages fall apart. 

Due to the overuse of technology in the 21st century both social skills and communication skills are negatively affected. As stated by Michael Patterson and Robert Kraut, social experimenters, the greater the use of the internet, the greater the decline in communication with family members in the household, marital partners and the greater the decline in social circle. John Gottman, states how important communication and social skills are to a marriage. These skills help create a close, personal bond between a couple in a marriage. Without these skills, a marriage could start to fall apart. Communication skills are necessary to resolve arguments in a marriage. He states that in a marriage it is best to work on increasing friendship, understanding and intimacy between a couple using these communication skills. With a lack of intimacy there is no understanding and it is harder for couples to accept arguments.  

Some of the most important skills needed in a marriage is communication and without that brings a lack of intimacy that could lead a marriage on the road to divorce. John Gottman speaks of how 69% of the time couples have the same issues and problems and they go about “trying” to solve them the same way as they always do and it nothing gets resolved. Then, Gottman spoke to married couples who were masters at marriage and he found that the approach they used to solve problems was extremely different. They started out gentle and their way of solving problems showed that the men were accepting influence from women and the women also understood the men. The communication skills of the males in the marriage were weak and because of this couples were unable to resolve their issues. Gottman calls this a recovery conversation after a fight. This conversation soon became a core principle of his therapy. 

The Internet is changing the lives of average citizens as much as the telephone and television did in the 1950s and 1960s. Researchers are debating whether the Internet is improving or harming participation in community life and social relationships. In another study, Kraut and Patterson examined the social and psychological impact of the Internet on 169 people in 73 households during their first 1 to 2 years in marriage. In this sample, there were similar results in coordination with their theory that it was shown the greater use of the Internet and social media was associated with declines in participants' communication with family members and their partner in the household. Due to the statistics and results of this experiment, there is evidence to back up these statements of how technology might be “harming” one’s social skills which could lead to a problem in communication skills during marriage. 

John Gottman explains how he can determine in a matter of thirty minutes if a marriage is going to last. He states that the first seven years are a major risk for divorce because that is when the major adjustments take place such as balancing a career and family, maintaining intimacy, concluding arguments, etc.  He states that marriages who contain emotionally intelligent husbands are the strongest. These are men who have detailed memories of how they met their wives, a good memory of the important relationships their wives have, and make an effort to understand their wives. The use of social media in relationships decreases the idea of a “love map” where it is vital for a partner to remember information about their partner’s goals, dreams, relationships, and history. Since everything is recorded on social media it reduces the ability for someone to retain information about their partner. Males who maintain love maps understand the important of closeness and accept influence in their marriage. 

In a study conducted in the United States testing couple therapy ideas used in Sweden using over 300 couples, it was shown that their methods of communication rather than dividing up an argument was most effective. In the beginning many couples displayed problems with their marriage and various psychiatric symptoms. A short treatment of couple’s therapy using the idea of bonds and understanding, the outcomes of this treatment started to show significant improvement on the marriages. It showed enhanced abilities to cope with arguments and this effect occurred with just 9 sessions of therapy. Because of the idea that partners can always be found due to social media, this decreases the likelihood of resolving arguments by coming to a similar conclusion. 

Marital arguments cannot be resolved. Gottman states that “many couples try to change each other’s minds but people are different, and you have to learn to live happily with it in some way or another”. It is also a myth that happily marries couples have less conflict/tensions because they do not. But, they are better able to reach a pleasant conclusion before it gets out of hand. In strong marriages, the couple has a “common sense of meaning.” This essentially means that they support each other’s goals and dreams. He states that couple therapies are not as effective in relationships that did not build a one on one bond from the start. These approaches to help do not work. It is hard for a couple to work on increasing friendship, understanding and intimacy between a couple if there was not much interaction in real life as there was on social media. 

The Internet has now become a usual channel for finding a partner, but little is known about the impact of this idea on how people select their partners. A study conducted by WB Chui shows him exploring the role played by online dating. It compares couples that met online (through either online dating platforms, Internet social networking etc.) to those met through offline interactions. Using data from the U.S. from 2009 and data from Germany collected between 2008 and 2014, he ran tests that correlated the strength of the partners’ association to various meeting settings. These results revealed that the internet promotes a weaker tie between a couple compared to couples who met in conventional placed such as a coffee shop or a movie.  

Endogamy is the idea of meeting a partner through conventional methods such as through friends, family or religious venues. Results also revealed that because of apps like tinder, there is weaker couple endogamy. It was shown as well that more search options triggered excessive searching for a mate leading to worse choices and poorer selectivity. Chui argued that more search options lead to less selective processing and therefore distracting them with irrelevant information and reducing one’s options to screen out inferior options. 

Carol Rusefeld’s theory, Comparison Levels for Alternative otherwise known as CL alt, explains how people searching for potential mates through social media have a delusion that there is always going to be someone better for them. He explains that the use of social media has turned dating into shopping. If by chance he or she does find a partner they start to wonder if they are settling for a person that is not correct for them. Questions such as, “What if there is someone else out there for me?” start to arise affecting relationships in a negative way. He coins the concept saying that social media is the enemy of long-term relationships. 

Catching a cheater was once as easy as digging through emails or following a car to a motel. Now, with user-specific controls on social media, and apps like Tinder and Snapchat, cheating is easier than ever before. Infidelity starts when the communication in the relationship stops. In our generation instead of breaking up, we branch out. We look for other people to fill the emotional and sexual voids in our failed relationship. A couple of years ago, finding out that one has been cheated on meant that he or she saw a salacious text from someone pop up on your significant other’s phone. Now the game has changed. Before the world of dating apps, cheaters didn't have an infinite pool of people to choose from. If their impulse to cheat was strong enough to act on, they'd have to go meet someone in real life. Now, all one has to do is swipe right. There's no limit to the ways people can use their smartphones to cheat, with apps like Tinder, Grindr, Snapchat and even Instagram at the tips of their thumbs. 

Hook-up culture has created a generation of singles conditioned not to expect more than one night. Today's dating market is full of people just looking for a good time and it's created a feeding-frenzy for cheaters. It's simple. They do not have to tell the various people they meet on Tinder or Instagram that they're not single, and the girls/guys won't ask to make sure. Snapchat makes sending explicit photos easier was well. Now, cheaters don't have to worry about forgetting to delete that scandalous photo someone sent them the night before. Snapchat cleans out the dirty pictures automatically. Snapchat isn’t the only application that makes cheating so efficient. If someone been getting away with an affair for quite a while and would like to start using Facebook to contact his mistress without his significant partner knowing, there's a way to do that too. All one needs to tell their partners is that they’re cleaning up their Facebook to make it look professional for job interviews and other background checks. Then, cheaters can easily hide their relationship status on their timeline, and create a new Facebook list for their partner. They can then restrict the content that their significant other can see in his/her feed and, voilà. Technology has made it possible for infidelity to exist at a higher rate because it has made it nearly impossible to catch them in the act. Luckily most people in committed relationships don't act on their impulses to cheat  but, unfortunately some do.  

Infidelity is the number one cause of divorce, the number two cause of divorce is stonewalling. Stonewalling is when one refuses to listen or acknowledge his or her partner and usually happens after a major event like infidelity leads to distrust. This distrust leads to communication problems and the marriage starts to fall apart. Then, the partner will refuse to resolve the issue or come to a common conclusion which will eventually lead to divorce.

True there are cases where online dating has been beneficial. There are benefits of online dating such as the ability to offer a platform where individuals can be free to express who they are and not be judged. It also offers access to many partners if an individual is struggling to find one through conventional dating offline. It gives people the ability to see the compatibility between a potential date before deciding to meet them face to face so it avoids the process of a painful breakup. Instead of meeting a person and then learning about different facts about them, these online dating apps gives you the opportunity to learn multiple facts about a person before deciding to meet them. Instead of parents or family members picking out people who they think is best for you, these apps may give one the chance to meet people you might have never crossed paths with. The best-case scenario is that you meet the love of your life, but how many happy Tinder couples have you met? I have yet to meet one. Dating was never meant to be as easy as a swipe to the right.

It is not surprising that the Internet has become a means by which people expand their social networks and form close relationships. Almost every online-dating website provides members with search tools. Due to the lack of intimacy resulting from the influence of digital media, there is an alarming divorce rate.  Because of the idea that there are more people in the world, people do not know which partner they are most compatible with. This results in more infidelity, divorce, and a decline in marriages which could be extremely harmful for future generations. 
