
How often does someone speak about the right way to be a man? Determining the ways in which someone can obey their gender rules is not something many people often look at. However, in “Bros Before Hos”, Michael Kimmel attempts to describe the ways that today’s society describes and thinks of the statement, “Be a man”. Throughout the essay, he displays the image every male seeks to accomplish, being a ‘manly man’, through various characteristics. The opposite is shown through certain weaknesses. These weaknesses are defined by Kimmel as anything that shows emotion, both emotions made from the mind, and also emotions shown through pain. The argument in this essay is that the perfect male image given by society is a dangerous concept to live one’s life by. Through an analysis of Michael Kimmel’s rhetorical strategies, we can see how the author effectively influences his readers of his given argument.

The essay under discussion is broken down into a few different components. Kimmel begins his essay by giving his audience a set of rules that defines today’s description of a man. He creates two lists: one he created using surveys given to men involving their ideas of what being a man is, and the second is a list created in 1976 by psychologists, which also consists of so-called “rules of masculinity”. Although the second list was created in 1976, he connects the two lists with their similarities, and shows that even though much time has passed, the rules of masculinity have not changed. This area of the essay ensures readers that the rules of masculinity are true and very alive today. The second part of the essay gives a background of these rules. Kimmel answers the question he made of “where do young men get these ideas?”(Kimmel 231)  through more real world examples and quotes that men themselves have made. The author states that the response from men were “consistent: Guys hear the voices of the men in their lives- fathers, coaches, brothers, grandfathers, uncles, priests- to inform them their ideas of masculinity”(232). Kimmel shows his audience through these results that these rules are derived from other men, and to many readers’ surprise, not women. The audience now may be wondering how these ‘rules’ are enforced, if they even are. In the third section of the essay, Kimmel satisfies these thoughts by showing how the culture around males would react to those who go across the defined borders. He states that when these boundaries are crossed, there is an easy list of words that come to the mind of a ‘gender policeman’, all pertaining to femininity and weakness. He says in the essay, “what is the most common put-down in middle school or high school? The answer: “That’s so gay””(233). This introduces the area in the essay where the author discusses the true meaning behind the “gay” insult. This insult then brings in the argument that “homosexuality becomes a kind of shorthand for “unmanliness””(234). In this redefined meaning of homosexuality, the author proposes that “the single cardinal rule of manhood, the one from which all the other characteristics… are derived is to offer constant proof that you are not gay”(234). In the final section of Kimmel’s essay, the origin of the ‘guy code’ is discussed. He talks about how it begins at a young age and with more real world examples, he influences his audience to understand and agree with his final remark:

No wonder boys are more prone to depression, suicidal behavior, and various other forms of out-of-control or out-of-touch behaviors than girls are. No wonder boys drop out of school and are diagnosed as emotionally disturbed four times more often than girls, get into fights twice as often, and are six times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with… ADHD. (Kimmel 237)

The reason Kimmel organized his essay into these different sections was to effectively portray the evidence needed to convince readers of his argument. The timing that the evidence was given to the readers, combined with the use of rhetorical appeals, (ethos, pathos, logos), made for an efficient argumentative essay.

The biggest rhetorical appeal used in this essay is pathos. The author wants to evoke an emotional response to his writing by using quotes from everyday people that are very hard to accept. The area where the largest emotional response would be provoked is when the story of the black mother and her family is told. In this story, the child goes to the barber to get a haircut and during the preparation for hair treatment, the boy cries because of the painful chemicals used on his scalp. Following the crying, the barber “turned to the boy’s father and pronounced, “This boy is a wimp!” He went on, “This boy has been spending too much time with his mama!” (235). Immediately following the barber’s statement, the dad went home to tell his wife that the child would be doing more sports and other activities with him. After the story, Kimmel asked the mother how old  her son was, and she said three. The reader sees how young the child is and realizes that the barber was trying to separate a three year old from his mother, all because of a natural reaction to pain. Any normal human would look at this situation and think it is ludicrous. The emotional response would be sympathy towards the young boy because of how absurd the audience would see the situation as. Kimmel uses this emotional response to influence the mind of readers into believing that the masculinity rules come with harsh repercussions. Another area where Kimmel uses pathos is during the story of the former football player at Lehigh. Here, the football player says that the coach would mock and humiliate any player that showed any sign of pain or weakness during practice. The player, Don, states that although the coach may have thought he was building their strength, it wore him out “trying to pretend all the time”(232). This quote is very effective to Kimmel’s audience because it is common sense to know that pretending to be ok in times where you are hurt can be very hard, but according to the rules of masculinity, it is not acceptable. Ethos is used in this essay every time the author uses a young man in an example. Using the statements of these men gives credibility to the argument because the entirety of the claim is based around men and their thoughts. He also displays credibility by using “we” to associate himself with the audience to show how he can relate to what he says. He also shows that he has credentials to his argument when he mentions his child. By mentioning his son and his son’s response to what being a man means, he tells the audience that he has purpose to believe in his own claim. 

In this essay we see can see that it turns out to have a more persuasive style to it, and we can also see that the anticipated audience here is young males, due to the author using evidence relating mostly to what young males would be most fitting to agree with, and also through the use of “we” again when the author mentions something that people like him, a young male, go through. Michael Kimmel opened the eyes to all readers to his claim of the ‘perfect’ male image given by society is dangerous for males and ineffective in the development of themselves. We can now see how he organized his essay and used certain rhetorical appeals to effectively influence his readers.