All around the US, couples in the LGBT community are becoming far more popular. With gay marriage becoming legalized in several states in the US, couples are beginning to become apparent in the community and are more open when it comes to their relationship and sexuality. As a result, gay and lesbian couples, just like opposite sex couples, want families of their own. Obviously, it’s not as simple for same-sex couples to have a family, because they are not able to conceive them on their own as simply as traditional families are. However, if they decide that they want to raise a child, whether it be by adoption or other measures, they should be able to have the option without being ridiculed and told that they are not “suitable parents” based on the fact that they are of the same sex. The sex of a child’s parent has nothing to do with the well-being of the child. Therefore, children who are raised by parents of the same sex are no better or worse than children who are raised and come from the traditional families of opposite-sex parents. 

In studies done over the years it has been proven time and time again that same-sex parenting does no specific harm to the children who are being raised. According to Doctor Nanette Gartell, children who come from same-sex parent households are no different than children who come from traditional homes. Nadia Kounang, writer for CNN, developed the story on a study ran by Dr. Gartrell that showed similarities and differences between children coming from same-sex parent households (lesbian focused) and opposite-parent households. They tested categories such as general health, emotional difficulties, coping capabilities, as well as learning behaviors of children who were being raised by parents of the same sex.  In order to keep the study unbiased and leveled, they matched 95 different parents of the same sex with 95 parents of the opposite sex, and based it off of characteristics such as the parent’s age, level of education, whether they were born in the US or not, and family residence. As far as how the children were chosen, they used the categories: age, race, and gender.

At the end of the study, researchers were able to prove that there are no differences in the two children’s outcomes. They found that what triggered the children’s behavior had nothing to do with the actual sex of their parents. Results seemed to depend on the relationship that children shared between their parents, and how parenting stress was applied to each child. However, they did find that some lesbian parents specifically implement high levels of stress when it comes to parenting and parenting style. This could be due to the fact that they feel as if they have more to prove in the matter. Since lesbian parents are looked down upon these days, they feel the need to justify the quality of their parenting more so than opposite-sex parents, since these type of families are what’s considered the norm in the US. Maybe if women and men of the LGBTQ community weren’t so judged and viewed differently, maybe parents wouldn’t have to stress so much. Nearing the end of the study, Gartrell goes the extra mile to point out other studies that have resulted in the opposite findings. It was concluded that these experiments most likely were ran on children who had suffered from family trauma. Such as divorce, adoption, foster care, and other family issues that play a large part in the overall happiness of a child, and the functionality of the entire family. Things like this are not taken into account in most studies, which definitely skews results and can make same-sex parenting come off as damaging to the child, when clearly, it is not. 

In other same-sex parenting cases, most times things like marriage aren’t taken into account, specifically cases that result in the argument that children raised by gay and lesbian couples are more likely to be harmed physically and/or emotionally. When these doctors conduct their studies, they are not managing an apple to apple comparison. For instance, children who come from a lesbian family of parents who are not married may be being compared with a child being raised by heterosexual parents who are married, which could possibly be a reason why studies come up with the results that they do. Marriage has a possibility to play a 

In an article entitled “Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Just Fine,” Ella Robinson, who is co-chair of a program called “Family Equality Council’s Outspoken Generation,” wrote an article that further proves how same-sex parenting is falsified into being harmful due to outside experiences not being accounted for. She wrote this article in response to a letter written by another author (Heather Barwick) called “Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting.” In this letter, Barwick discusses the lack of a father figure experience she had in her household with her two mothers, and the negative effects it had on her. However, Barwick’s father left the relationship when she was very young. In result, she experienced the devastating separation and divorce between her heterosexual parents prior to her mother mating with another woman. 

Ella Robinson speaks for the entire community of same-sex household kids when she counters Barwick’s argument by giving her own personal story of how she went through divorce the same way. She experienced a divorce between her mother and father at a young age, the same way as Barwick. After the divorce, her father opened a relationship with another man. Her father then became the first openly gay Episcopal bishop. When her mother and father divorced, she was devastated. However, she could attest that although it was a rough experience, her father and his mate loved her with everything they had. The difference between their two experiences was that Robinson’s father was still in her life after the divorce. After Barwick experienced divorce, her father was completely absent. Therefore, Robinson argues that Barwick’s pain from “lack of a father figure” came from her father simply not being there for her, not her lesbian mother. If her mother had married another man instead of a woman, the pain would still be there, because no one could have replaced her father. She suffered from the result of a divorce, not a same-sex parent household. 

Near the end of her article she goes on to conclude that parents are parents, no matter if they are gay, straight, or lesbian. Families containing heterosexual parents are not going to be perfect, nor are families with homosexual parents. Just because a child has parents of the opposite sex does not mean that they are destined to have a happy life with a perfect family. Every family goes through struggles and difficulties, whether it be heterosexual or homosexual. All parents are uniquely different in their own ways, and both have the ability to be wonderful parents through their own techniques, which has nothing to do with their sexuality. 

In fact, in the book “The Future of Our Children,” author William Meezan, who improved the lives of children all over the nation by being involved in child welfare and social work for a large span of his lifetime, and even holding the title of Director of Policy and Research at Child Right’s Center in New York, dedicated a section of his book also proving that same-sex parenting is not in any way harmful to children. On page 102, he states: 

There is no scientific basis for concluding that lesbian mothers or gay fathers are unfit parents on the basis of their sexual orientation…. On the contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children… Overall, results of research suggest that the development, adjustment, and well-being of children with lesbian and gay parents do not differ markedly from that of children heterosexual parents (Meezan, Rauch 102). 

As proven before, there is no actual way to prove that same-sex parenting causes damage to a child. Some may argue that there are studies that “prove” otherwise. It is completely true: there are most certainly studies that have claimed to find results that verify same-sex parenting is damaging to children. However, these studies are bogus, biased, and not performed the way they should be. There has not yet been a fair, un-biased study/experiment ran that has scientifically proven same-sex parenting to be harmful towards children. Therefore, as Meezan stated above, lesbian and gay parents love the same way that straight parents do. Their sexual orientation has no dependency on how well they are able to take care of their children, and give them everything that they need in order to succeed in life. Parents of the same sex should not be criticized simply for loving their child the best way they possibly can. It is ridiculous to say that they are unfit parents simply because their family is not “normal” in the eyes of others. Every parent is human and capable of giving the same love and opportunities to their child, no matter the sex. 

In fact, in the book Journal of Marriage and Family, author Fiona Tasker wrote about a study ran by Biblarz and Stacey that analyzes child development within same-sex parenting by seeing how the gender and sex of parents effects the upbringing of children. What is interesting about this specific study is that they compared families led by single heterosexual mothers with single heterosexual fathers before comparing two parent same-sex households to two parent heterosexual households. They did this in order to keep the study fair, and more importantly, they wanted to see if just gender alone had any type of negative or positive effect on how children are raised before they compared same-sex to opposite sex families. After the first part of the study, researchers found that gender alone had no specific relation to the behavior of each child. 

After reviewing the second part of the study, which compared children of same-sex families to children of traditional heterosexual families, they found the same results. Children who were being raised by parents of the same sex had no different relationship with their parents than children raised in heterosexual parent homes. To be exact: “parental sexual orientation was not associated with differences in the quality of parent-child relationships when children’s data were analyzed” (Tasker 36). Yet again, another study proves that there is no harm done to children who are being raised by same-sex parents. In fact, another finding in the study even concluded that “Nonheterosexual parents on average indicated significantly better relationships with their children than did heterosexual parents” (Tasker 36). This result could be due to several factors. For instance, same-sex parents are held to a lower standard, and have more at stake than heterosexual parents, so they may value their relationship with their child more so than others. For the most part, obtaining a child is most times very important to couples of the same-sex. They have to specifically go through a process in order to do so, as opposed to heterosexual couples who can easily conceive a child that may have not been their intention. Thus, same-sex couples usually highly value their relationship with their children, which is a reason why children of the same-sex are not likely to go through physical damage or harm due to their parent’s sexuality. 

Although same-sex parents are able to provide and care for their children, one thing that they are not physically able to do is provide a father figure (in the case of lesbian parenting) or mother figure (in the case of gay parenting). It has been argued several times that children need the both of their parents; every child needs a mother, and every child needs a father, and children who grow up without either or will be hurt in the long run, or suffer in their childhood as is. However, the reality is that children grow up in single parent households more often than not these days. In fact, according to an article published on the Daily Mail website, every one in three children in American homes live in single parent homes without their father, which comes to about fifteen million in overall population. As for mothers, the numbers crunch to around 5 million children who live in single parent households without their mothers (Nye). Kids everywhere grow up without a mother or father, and turn out just fine. Just because there is no father or mother figure present in a family does not mean that the child(ren) will automatically suffer. Yes, they may face some issues, as do all children. However, it does not have any specific effect on the overall well-being of the child. Growing up without a father or mother may be a little difficult to someone who once had both of their parents, and now live in a single parent household due to separation or divorce. However, kids who grow up with same-sex parents have two parents that love them, and don’t necessarily experience the loss of one parent or the other. 

According to a well explained YouTube video by the Australian ABC News Network, they too found that when it came to the gender of two parents, it had no factor in the well-being of the child. The Australian Psychological Society came up with the results that what really influenced children’s behavior is the quality of parenting, and how parents choose to raise their kids. When compared to children who come from traditional families, they performed just the same in every category, and even performed even better in the classification “connectedness at school.” It was even concluded that the number of parents also had no specifically harmful influence on a child. Of course, there are always special cases, and specific circumstances that could possibly counter this, but overall, gender/sexuality, (and quantity) is yet again proven to have no harm on children in same-sex parent circumstances. 

In an article written by D.C McAllister, she argues that it is wrong to purposefully deny a child the rights to their biological parent, and that everyone should know where they come from. She believes that same-sex parents withhold this information from their children, and do not allow them to interact with their family origins. She goes on to say: “Advocates of this deviance from established norms cite their own studies claiming that the children will be alright…ignoring grown children who testify that being purposely denied a relationship with their parents is a deep psychological and emotional wound that will never fully heal” (McAllister). Although McAllister argues a valid point to a real issue, she focuses the problem on same-sex parents, when that is not their issue alone. In reality, thousands of children live in single parent homes across the country who have never met their mother or even their father, and live with either or. The issue is not a “same-sex parent” issue, it is an issue across the board, dealing with all parents in general. All same-sex parents do not deny their children the rights to their mother, father, or family history. Even if a child is exposed to their biological father or mother, this will not create a relationship between the two. Family isn’t always biological. Family is shared love and experiences that blood alone cannot create. 

Children who are a part of same-sex parent families are definitely one of a kind. Several people are not able to say that they grew up having two parents of the same-sex, or even two parents at all. However, they do not have an advantage over children who are raised in heterosexual parented households. Whether homosexual or heterosexual, families all over the nation should be able to flourish and bloom into a beautiful unity without criticism and disapproval. Every family is special in their own way and all children deserve the equal opportunity to be especially loved and cared for by their parents, no matter their sexuality, or gender. The relationship between parent and child is beautiful, and there is nothing, especially nothing as simple as gender, that should come in between a child and his or her parents.  
