
All around the US, couples in the LGBT community are becoming far more popular. With gay marriage becoming legalized in several states in the US, couples are beginning to become apparent in the community and are more open when it comes to their relationship and sexuality. As a result, gay and lesbian couples, just like opposite sex couples, want families of their own. Obviously, it’s not as simple for same-sex couples to have a family, because they are not able to conceive them on their own. However, if they decide that they want to raise a child, whether it be by adoption, donation, or by other measures, they should be able to have the option without being ridiculed and told that they are not “suitable parents” based on the fact that they are of the same sex. The sex of a child’s parent has nothing to do with the well-being of the child. Therefore, children who are raised by parents of the same sex are no better or worse than children who are raised and come from the traditional families of opposite-sex parents. 

[In studies done over the years it has been proven time and time again that same-sex parenting does no specific harm to the children who are being raised.] According to Doctor Nanette Gartell, children who come from same-sex parent homes are no different than children who come from traditional homes. Nadia Kounang, writer for CNN developed the story on a study ran by Dr. Gartrell that showed similarities and differences between children coming from same-sex parent households (lesbian focused) and opposite-parent households. They tested categories such as general health, emotional difficulties, coping capabilities, as well as learning behaviors of children who were being raised by parents of the same sex.  In order to keep the study unbiased and leveled, they matched 95 different parents of the same sex with 95 parents of the opposite sex, and based it off of characteristics such as the parent’s age, level of education, whether they were born in the US or not, and family residence. [As far as the children chosen, they used the categories: age, race, and gender.]

At the end of the study, researchers were able to prove that there are no differences in the two children’s outcomes. [They found that what triggered the children’s behavior had nothing to do with the actual sex of their parents, but the relationship they shared between their parents, and parenting stress.] {Specify children’s behavior & what they found before sentence}. However, they did find that some lesbian parents specifically implement high levels of stress when it comes to parenting and parenting style. This could be due to the fact that they feel as if they have more to prove in the matter. Since lesbian parents are looked down upon these days, they feel the need to justify the quality of their parenting more so than opposite-sex parents, since these type of families are what’s considered the norm in the US. {Awkward transition…?} Gartrell even points out that studies that have resulted in the opposite findings most likely conducted their studies on children who had suffered from family trauma, such as divorce, adoption, foster care, and other family issues that play a large part in the overall happiness of a child, and even the functionality of the entire family. [Things like this are not taken into account in most studies, which definitely skews results and can make same-sex parenting come off as damaging to the child, when that is not at all the case.] 

In other same-sex parenting cases, most times things like marriage isn’t taken into account, specifically cases that result in the argument that children raised by gay and lesbian couples are more likely to be harmed physically and/or emotionally. When these doctors conduct their studies, they are not managing an apple to apple comparison. For instance, children who come from a lesbian family of parents who are not married may be being compared with a child being raised by heterosexual parents who are married, which could possibly be a reason why studies come up with the results that they do. {Go more in depth/talk more about this}

Ella Robinson, co-chair of a program called “Family Equality Council’s Outspoken Generation,” is passionate about children of same-sex parents, and wrote an article entitled “Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Just Fine.” {Bad hook} She wrote this article in response to a letter written by author Heather Barwick called “Dear Gay Community: Your Kids Are Hurting,” in which Barwick discusses the lack of a father figure experience in her same-sex lesbian household, and the negative effects it had on her. However, Barwick experienced divorce between her heterosexual parents prior to her mother mating with another woman. Her father left the relationship when Barwick was very young. {Awkward random sentence}

 Ella Robinson speaks for the entire community of same-sex household kids when she counters Barwick’s argument by giving her own personal story of how she went through divorce the same way. She experienced a divorce between her mother and father at a young age, the same way as Barwick. After the divorce, her father opened a relationship with another man, and became the first openly gay Episcopal bishop. The only difference between their two experiences was that Robinson’s father was still in her life after the divorce. So, she argues that Barwick’s pain from “lack of a father figure” came from her father simply not being there for her, not her lesbian mother. If her mother had married another man instead of a woman, the pain would still be there, because no one could have replaced her father. Her pain comes from the result of a divorce, not a same-sex parent household. 

Near the end of her article she goes on to conclude that parents are parents, no matter if they are gay, straight, or lesbian. Families containing heterosexual parents are not going to be perfect, nor are families with homosexual parents. Just because a child has parents of the opposite sex does not mean that they are destined to have a happy family {change to life…?} Every family goes through struggles and difficulties, whether it be heterosexual or homosexual. All parents are different and unique in their own ways, and both have the ability to be good parents through their own techniques, which has nothing to do with their sexuality. 

In fact, in the book “The Future of Our Children,” author William Meezan, who improved the lives of children all over the nation by being involved in child welfare and social work for a large span of his lifetime, and even holding the title of Director of Policy and Research at Child Right’s Center in New York, dedicated a section of his book also proving that same-sex parenting is not in any way harmful to children. {Long af} On page 102, he states: 

There is no scientific basis for concluding that lesbian mothers or gay fathers are unfit parents on the basis of their sexual orientation…. On the Contrary, results of research suggest that lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children… Overall, results of research suggest that the development, adjustment, and well-being of children with lesbian and gay parents do not differ markedly from that of children heterosexual parents (Meezan, Rauch 102). 

There is no actual way to prove that same-sex parenting causes damage to a child. Like Meezan stated above, lesbian and gay parents love the same way that straight parents do. Their sexual orientation has no dependency on how well they are able to take care of their children, and give them everything that they need I order to succeed in life. Every parent is human and capable of giving the same love and opportunities to their child.  Parents of the same sex should not be criticized simply for loving their child the best way possible. 

Although same-sex parents are able to provide and care for their children, one thing that they are not physically able to do is provide a father figure (in the case of lesbian parenting) or mother figure (in the case of gay parenting). It has been argued several times that children need the both of their parents. Every child needs a mother, and every child needs a father, and children who grow up without either or will be hurt in the long run, or suffer in their childhood as is. 

In an article written by D.C McAllister, she argues that it is wrong to purposefully deny a child the rights to their biological parent, and that everyone should know where they come from. She believes that same-sex parents withhold this information from their children, and do not allow them to interact with their family origins. She goes on to say: “Advocates of this deviance from established norms cite their own studies claiming that the children will be alright…ignoring grown children who testify that being purposely denied a relationship with their parents is a deep psychological and emotional wound that will never fully heal” (McAllister). Although McAllister argues a valid point to a real issue, she focuses the problem on same-sex parents alone, when that is not their issue alone. In reality, thousands of children live in single parent homes across the country who have never met their mother or even their father, and live with either or. The issue is not a “same-sex parent” issue, it is an issue across the board, dealing with all parents in general. All same-sex parents do not deny their children the rights to their mother, father, or family history. Even if a child is exposed to their biological father or mother, this will not create a relationship between the two. Family isn’t always biological. Family is shared love and experiences. 
