“Be a man!” For most males, this phrase should sound hauntingly familiar. Chances are a patriarchal figure, such as a father or grandfather, used it to reprimand an action they deemed unfit for a young man. It is certain, their father or grandfather did the same for them when they were a child. This standard of masculinity is still exceptionally prominent today. A prime example of this “Guy Code”, as it has come to be called, can be found in an article entitled The 14 Rules of the Guy Code that Can Never be Broken; published in 2013 by the popular news source BuzzFeed. Some of the rules include: choose the right urinal, don’t be weird at the gym, and greet appropriately (BuzzFeed). Although the article is very clearly intended to be comical, some of the “rules” laid out reflect real aspects passed down generationally in the code of masculinity. 

Michael Kimmel, author of ‘Bros before hos’: The Guy Code, uses the term “Guy Code” to explain the phenomenon of ensuring manliness between both generations and peers. In reference to the Guy Code, Kimmel says, “These are the rules that govern behavior in Guyland, the criteria that will be used to evaluate whether and particular guy measures up” (Kimmel 230). Eventually, He provides an astute reader with a few tenants that are fundamental to the Guy Code. First, dominance and power. A man must display power over others whenever and however possible. He should show no weakness, such as emotions, as those are too feminine. Second, homophobia. True men constantly prove to others that they are heterosexual through objectifying women and denouncing “gay” actions. Thirdly, men must police each other. Whenever someone steps outside the guidelines drawn by the Guy Code it is a man’s duty to rebuke them. On the surface these seem random but, given closer inspection, these rules begin to sound harmful. There are traces of dominance and power infused into the article as well. Kimmel discerns just how poignant his Guy Code is to the modern social environment. Through “Bros before hos”, Kimmel gives examples of the ill effects the Code has on males. He especially shifts his focus to young males towards the end of his writing. On the topic of youth, he says:

No wonder boys are more prone to depression, suicidal behavior, and various other forms of out-of-control or out-of-touch behaviors than girls are. No wonder boys drop out of school and are diagnosed as emotionally disturbed four times more often as girls, get into fights twice as often, and are six times more likely than girls to be diagnosed with Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). (Kimmel 237)

Interestingly, Kimmel places the entire blame for erratic behavior on the implementation of the Guy Code on these boys. He is partially correct in placing his blame on the Guy Code, as it is a factor; however, the actual issue of adolescent misbehavior is much more complex. In reality, the cause of issues for boys, which Kimmel highlighted, is derived from stress which comes from two sources: family and peers. 

Depression lies at the root of suicidal behavior. As John S. Wodarski says in Adolescent Depression and Suicide: A Comprehensive Empirical Intervention for Prevention and Treatment, when combined with stress, depression is the most prominent factor in suicidal youth (5). To this end, suicidal behavior is most often seen as an outcome, or even a symptom, of depression (Lester 62). Most people know how widespread depression is in adults, but most fail to realize that it is just as common in children. In fact, “Depression naturally occurs in children as part of the maturity process”, “...it is estimated that somewhere between .14% and 49% of children and adolescents suffer from a depressive disorder of some kind” (Wodarski 5). However, it is the intensity of depression sets suicidal children apart from others. Only severely depressed adolescents become suicidal. Kimmel offers his insight into the causation of adolescent depression, but he overlooks the inherent complexity associated with depressive disorders.  

Adolescent depression does not have one simple origin, it is the aggregate of many contributing factors. At the heart of these factors lies a common thread, stress. Suicidal behaviors are most often produced when an adolescent faces overwhelming amounts of adversity. This adversity alone however, does not cause depression or suicide. Children who are well prepared to combat stress and who have a strong support network have much lower rates of depressive disorders. This is because depression occurs when stress levels become unmanageable. Individuals begin to feel as though they are worthless and their future is hopelessly bleak. French sociologist from the 1800’s, Emile Durkheim, called this particular form of suicide, resulting from a bleak outlook on the future, fatalistic suicide (Wodarski 8). To understand why some children seem to avoid depression and others do not, it is helpful to compare well functioning children to suicidal ones. In doing this, the two main constituents for stress emerge: family and peers.     

Returning to Wodarski’s Adolescent Depression and Suicide, “The family as the integral formation model has a distinct effect on the child. In the early years, foundations of trust and love are established for the child within the home structure” (7). Family is the crucial foundation for childhood development. Values such as trust, love, and respect are all given to a child by their family. It can also be said that young boys learn the basic tenets of the guy code from their fathers in this stage of life. It is much harder to pass along such values in a broken family: single-parent, no parents, etc. Broken families provide children with far less emotional support for kids than traditional two parent families can. Parents in broken households are unable to spend adequate time with their children, leading to emotional issues in the child. 

Unfortunately for children, the traditional family is rapidly being erased from our culture. On this subject Wodarski comments, “The American Family has been in a state of flux for the past 20 years. The growing incidence of family dissolutions, and the resulting single and/or female-headed household with its attending lifestyle, make this an especially difficult period” (7). The decrease in traditional families is a major contributing factor in the rise of adolescent disorders associated with depression. As the rates of broken families have increased, so too have the rates of youth suicide. From 1950 to 1990, the incidence rates of adolescent suicide have increased threefold (Cutler 219).  

Out of these less than ideal situations, depression and suicide become a reality for children. It's been proven that family arguments, especially those in which divorce is discussed openly, are common precursors to suicidal actions (Cutler 224). With this in mind, the rationalization process a suicidal adolescent goes through prevents itself more clearly; the youth begins to feel powerless. They either desperately want to make someone pay for the pain they have endured, or they have reached such a depressed state that suicide has become a viable option for escape. In the first case, the outcome is typically a suicide attempt, as payback and attention are the individual's ultimate goal. In the second case, the outcome is typically more grim, the child reaches the point where they believe life is not worth living and is successful in committing suicide. 

Peer involvement is a major part of adolescent development. It is just as influential to children as family. As children mature, they form their own identity independent from their parents (Wodarski 7). Children form relationships, or the lack thereof, with those around them. If the child does not fit in for some reason, they become alienated by their peers. Alienation is a major form of stress in children. Marginalized kids see their peers as well functioning and well adjusted individuals, causing them to develop low self esteem and higher risk of depression and suicidal behavior because they believe they do not measure up (Wodarski 8).  Those who do not fit in typically reach a point where they decide their identity lies on the social margins. For boys, this typically materializes in acting out, especially in school. It has been observed that deviant children tend to have higher rates of depression, and that acting out typically masks a depressive disorder (Tilling 30). 

Among males, there is a check system to keep individuals in line, as well as further marginalize those who exist outside of social norms. As Kimmel says in “Bros before Hos”, those who fall outside the defined rules of masculine behavior are policed back into place. This places an inordinate amount of stress on constant deviators. Without the proper tools to combat this stress or a strong support system for encouragement, children develop depressive disorders. It can be said that for children whose depression stems only from their peers, Kimmel’s argument is correct. The truth is, however, that suicidal behavior is typically not so cut and dry.  

Contagion, as discussed by David Cutler in Risky Behavior Among Youths: An Economic Analysis, occurs when adolescents are exposed in some way to suicidal behavior and adopt it. Cutler says, “Teens are more likely to attempt suicide when they know someone else who attempted suicide” (223). This behavior of suicidal contagion is not as evident in adults and the elderly. It seems that, for children, knowing a person who attempted suicide can be a major stressor. They look at their own issues and amplify them in response to the trauma they were exposed to. In some cases, they begin to understand that suicide can become a tool. If they have a grievance against their family, some children rationalize a suicide attempt as a way to punish their parents. Another, often overlooked case, occurs when a child experiences grief over the loss of a suicide victim. In this case as well, the child’s issues are amplified and they believe an appropriate response is committing suicide (Cutler 234). In both cases, the suicidal behavior they were exposed caused them stress and lead to depressive and suicidal behavior.

Contrary to Kimmel’s conclusion, boys are not actually more prone to depression. In fact, females statistically have much higher depression and attempted suicide rates (Cutler 227). However, boys are more prone to complete suicide. This discrepancy between genders is a result of the method implemented in the suicide attempt. Males are much more likely to use violent methods: firearms, hanging, jumping, cutting. Females are much more likely to use non-violent or passive methods: ingestion of poisons or overdose (Lester 63). Violent methods have a much higher rate of completion, explaining the difference in completion rates between males and females. The reason behind male’s favoring violent methods for suicide is hotly debated. Many researchers claim that testosterone plays a key role in a male’s choice of method. However, in David Lester’s Suicide in Men, he concludes that there is no definite evidence in support of this claim (62). Kimmel would argue that the guy code instilled in all males leads to violent, manly, methods.    

Kimmel was not entirely wrong in placing blame for adolescent delinquency and suicide on the guy code, as there is evidence to support his claim. For example, guy code policing can marginalize those who do not fit within the norms of masculinity to the point of depression. Or that the guy code is passed down generationally by paternal figures. However, Kimmel manages to overlook some extremely important issues. He does recognize adolescent depression, but not the complexity of the issue. He focuses on only one cause, when in reality, depression is the composite of many factors. Not all of which have to do with the guy code. In fact, the largest and most pressing cause of adolescent depression, the dissolution of the traditional family, is never considered by Kimmel. He never considers peer contagion either. Had Kimmel explored the causes of adolescent depression more in depth, it would have become evident that adolescents, especially males, problems all revolve around depression and stress. Stress comes from both peers and family. Instead of placing the blame on the guy code, it would be more precise to place the blame on the dissolution of traditional family, which encompasses all aspects of adolescent male suicide.     
