Gender is a concept that is quickly becoming one of the hottest topics in modern society. The way that we conceptualize gender and the importance we place on traditional gender roles is vital in determining our values, how we act, and most importantly, how we raise our children. It can be agreed upon that boys and girls experience fundamental differences in their childhoods from a very young age; but to what extent does this socialization play a role in their development and the values they eventually develop? The specific ways in which we socialize our kids differently based on their gender in modern society has a lasting impact on their identity and their conceptualization of gender.

Over the past few decades, the issues and challenges that adolescent and even adult women face in modern society have been increasingly recognized by the public. Many of these challenges stem from the stereotypical ideas and unrealistic expectations of femininity that are largely propagated by the media. It is very obvious that the media uses gender norms as a tool for marketing specific toys to either boys or girls. Nareissa Smith explores the effects of this in her journal, Built for Boyhood?: A Proposal for Reducing the Amount of Gender Bias in the Advertising of Children’s Toys on Television. On the difference between the two toys she says, “Boys are encouraged to play with cars, trucks, wagons, machines, and science toys. Girls, by contrast, are encouraged to play with toys such as kitchen sets and dolls that promote domesticity and nurturing behavior…Preparing girls for traditional roles that do not employ the imagination in the same way would therefore seem to put them at a disadvantage.” (Smith 1000). Damon Young is a father of a young girl and wrote an article about his observations and ideas regarding the way she experiences gendered differences in society called, “Princesses and Superheroes: The Consequences of Gender Roles.” He states, “The princess' role is traditionally more private, and has more to do with beauty, innocence and marriage. Princesses do not battle supervillains or sacrifice themselves for the common good: unless this sacrifice is marriage.” (Young). These quotes show the traditional role of women and how they are expected to act puts them at a disadvantage and teaches them that boys have a more important role in society. They also are forced to strive for an unattainable image of beauty that the media portrays in order to market beauty products. This flood of images that create a sense of beauty that is humanly impossible leads to insecurity among young girls.

While the issues dealing with girls and their challenges in modern society have been well acknowledged over the past few decades, something that is recently getting more attention is the challenges that young men face in society. The notion that men face little to no challenges in their adolescent life is simply inaccurate. An example of this shift in attention is the series of books called The Psychology of Gender. This series currently contains five editions, we will focus on the second and fifth edition. The second edition, which was published in 2004, focuses heavily on the girls’ challenges and the problems they face in society. The fifth edition, which was published in 2016, is much more balanced because it also focuses on the problems with the traditional role of masculinity and how it is enforced from a very young age. It is important to focus on both sides of gender socialization and understand the effects of both because there are many negative consequences if these problems persist unacknowledged by the male community. 

Boys face a challenge to maintain a constant image of the stereotypical masculinity of society today which includes hiding all emotions except for anger, constantly exercising control, and having clout with women. These boundaries of masculinity are unflinchingly rigid and are enforced by almost everyone that boys interact with. C.J. Pascoe conducted a study where she observed interactions between high school boys and recorded her conclusions in a book called, Dude, You’re a Fag. In her book, Pascoe claims that the term ‘fag’ is used between friends in all-male settings to police the boundaries of normative masculinity, rather than actually calling their friend homosexual (Pascoe). Through her interviews with the boys, she found that they are aware the term is not an accusation of homosexuality, but rather a warning that their behaviors are breaking the unspoken rules to maintain masculinity. This policing is not only experienced by peers, but almost everyone; including parents. An example would be a parent taking a toy away from a young boy because the toy is meant for a “feminine” audience. This teaches the child (even from a young age) that they need to conform to the traditional behaviors and qualities associated with masculinity. Proof of this constant competition to maintain a masculine image is in the behavior of men when their masculinity is challenged, especially compared to women. In the article, “Overdoing Gender: A Test of the Masculine Overcompensation Thesis,” sociologists report the results of studies that tested the reactive behaviors of men and women who were told they were feminine and masculine, respectively. The overall outcome can be summarized through the quote, “Women showed no effects when told they were masculine; however, men given feedback suggesting they were feminine expressed more support for war, homophobic attitudes, and interest in purchasing an SUV. Study 2 found that threatened men expressed a greater support for, and desire to advance in, dominance hierarchies.” This reveals that men are easily threatened when it comes to their masculinity because it is constantly questioned and challenged in modern society. 

The role of homosexuality is an interesting one in the gender socialization of adolescents. In the past, homosexuality was seen as unacceptable and warranted constant harassment. Recently, however, homosexuality has become much more accepted by boys and girls alike, however still kept at a distance, especially by boys. The term “fag” has traditionally been a derogatory term for homosexual men. The reason that Pascoe claims it is now a term to police normative gender roles is because rather than actually calling someone homosexual, they are being called out for ‘acting like a homosexual’ which means they were breaking normative masculine boundaries (Pascoe). This only applies to peers in a “normal” heterosexual male friend group because the expectation is that they want to remain masculine in the eyes of their peers. To openly come out as homosexual takes away the need for this because homosexuality has its own set of norms for behavior. Homosexual individuals are traditionally kept at a distance by males because being seen with or associated with a homosexual man takes away from your own masculinity and that is something many men are unwilling to sacrifice. 

Transgenderism is a relatively recent concept that has gotten little attention up until now. As with many new social ideas, it has been met with plenty of controversy. Yee Won Chong, a transgender man who was born a woman in Malaysia gave a TED Talk in 2012 asserting his points of view as a transgender person in America and some of the things he has experienced. He states that things as simple as going to the bathroom require careful decision making because of the threat of harassment. He claims that every transgender person he knows has experienced harassment at some point during their life and this drastically impacts the way they live and the decisions they make (Chong). This harassment stems from the pressure that people themselves feel to conform to their own traditional gender role. People who have experienced more enforcement of conformity are more likely to project and mirror this behavior onto others that they believe are breaking gender norms. 

It can be seen now that the way that children grow up to view gender is taught, and whether it be through parents or peers, they learn from a very young age what is acceptable for their gender. Many parents think that enforcing conformity to traditional gender roles may make their childs life easier due to reduced harassment. This is actually inaccurate because this not only teaches the child that they need to act a certain way, even if it does not reflect who they really are, but also teaches them to project the boundaries unto their peers as well. Conformity may seem like a short-term solution, but actually fuels this vicious cycle. 
