Bondage between parents and children is immensely important. While children are still learning the difference between what is good and bad *, they are forming long term behaviors from their experiences. These experiences are often at school, at a friend’s house, or at home. At a young age, children have no basis of wrongs and rights *. So, when a person does anything in front of them that can be considered wrong and * face no * consequences, children perceive the action or behavior as okay. Children can misunderstand bad habits * if they cannot identify any consequences or are not taught otherwise. It is up to the adults who understand wrong from right to educate their children so that they can understand too. There are a lot of important factors in a child’s life that guide them to behave properly and become their future selves, but parents have the most important role of them all because much of the basic behaviors and habits children obtain are based off of their parent’s actions and teachings.

Children are like prized possessions to parents, they are a new life with billions of possibilities, and it is abnormal for a parent to not want their children to be the best they can be. * “Good parents want their kids to stay out of trouble, do well in school, and go on to do awesome things as adults” (Gillett), parents want the best for their children. When parents do not want the best for their children, society considers them bad parents. It is important to understand that parents are * trying to nurture their children so that they have the chance to be the best they can be.

Children this day in age have shown signs of deterioration to their good behaviors and an increase to their bad behaviors. These changes can be seen clearly at school in classrooms. A survey was taken by “844 staff members [which] 62% felt there were more children with emotional, behavioral and mental health problems” (Townsend) than in the past few years since 2013. There seems to be a * rise in behavioral problems amongst children at school. A teacher from the West Midlands Secondary School was interviewed and stated that she had “been sworn at, argued with, shouted at, had books thrown at [her], threatened with physical abuse and had things stolen and broken” (Townsend). This behavior is obviously not acceptable at any point, but especially at school. ** It raises suspicion of the reasons why these behaviors are deteriorating.

There are several reasons to children’s behaviors changing, but the most significant reason has to do with the strategies parents are using to raise their children or enforce their children. Today’s parents are being encouraged through social media, articles, and parenting journals to give their children more freedom to make their own choices. As seen in a “Parenting Style” journal which states “an excess of parental control may deprive children of the opportunity to develop their autonomy” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.) * , giving children more freedom can be beneficial for them. [The same journal says that “parents’ warmth and affection—characterized by positive approval of the child— coupled with a set of coherent, consistent rules positively affects children’s psychological adjustment” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.). Giving children too much freedom, or at too young of an age, can cause issues for children while they are growing up.] Children’s psychology is usually the cause for behavioral issues, which makes sense for parents to try and control these factors that lead to psychological adjustments. That said, parents who have more control over their children’s early life tend to raise children better behaved. 

There have been studies made to show parents effective strategies to parenting their children ** since many parent’s question whether or not they are using the best strategies to parent their children. * It is not an easy to figure out what the best strategy is; however, researchers have put together “a variety of ‘best practices’ lists to help applied professionals identify effective strategies to implement” (Olsen). Through their studies, researchers found that “parenting styles characterized by consistent discipline and acceptance have been associated with the dimension of temperament and strong self-control” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.) proving evidence that the best strategy is to inject consistent discipline towards their children. [An important part of understanding consistent discipline is to recognize the consistency. When children are disciplined for first time for doing something wrong they often do not learn from the first mistake. Therefore, to really teach children wrong from right, parents must continue to show the same discipline each time that their child makes that mistake. Doing this helps imbed in the child’s mind that their action or behavior is wrong and not worth the consequences. But this ‘best’ strategy does not just include punishing children.] 

[* An important part of the strategy that parents really need to use to be most effective is being cautious of their own actions in front of their children. * Showing acceptance and praising children often improves children’s psychology.] Children also learn a lot * from what they see and not just what they are taught. [For example, “negligence by [a] mother must be considered in relation to the children’s impulsiveness and lack of self-control in tense situations” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.). This information from the same study shows that the mothers negligence directly affects her child. When a parent behaves poorly in front of their child the bad behavior is often adapted by the child.] There are several * ways parents can negatively affect their children by behaving poorly in front of them, but the example of a mother being negligent in front of her children shows exactly how children adapt behaviors from their parents. Parents must watch their actions at all times when their children are around because they do not have control over how their children interpret them. Using these strategies, parents will most likely see an improvement in behavior. 

Children are reliant on their parents to teach them valuable lessons on behavior, and often lack knowledge about good behavior when their parents do not teach them. A study has shown that unresponsive relationships between parents and their children lead to * rejecting orientation, and to future behavioral problems (Kim), in children. Parents that are unresponsive in times when discipline is needed often see their children’s behavioral issues increase. Basic behavioral lessons are taught at home and not a school’s responsibility to do so. If children do not receive behavioral lessons at home by their parents, it is up to the children to learn the lessons * . This can become very harmful for a child at a young age, the most common response is getting into trouble at school which often becomes a cycle of continuous issues (Golijan). It is very important that parents implicate behavioral lessons at home in order to secure that their children are behaving properly * at school and everywhere else.

Children are able to grow and be more successful when parents succeed in teaching their children valuable lessons. Children are a huge responsibility for parents, there’s so many lessons that must be taught, and so many actions that must be taken to improve their children’s future. It can be as simple as encouraging healthy habits, such as things to eat and exercising. A study on children’s health showed that “children whose parents took them to parks, playgrounds or sports activities were twice as likely to meet physical activity guidelines as children whose parents did not do this” (Searing). Physical health can be very important towards children’s behavior because of its connection to the overall psychology of children. The psychology of children is basically what is going on in their head, so when children psychology get down on themselves, they naturally try to make themselves feel better. Good health can make individuals of all ages overall happier and motivated, and bad behaviors of children usually occur not when they are unhappy with others, but rather when they are unhappy with themselves. It is unusual for a child to want to learn how to be healthy on their own, which is why it’s so important for parents to teach their children the best ways to being healthy and active. Furthermore, a podcast on YouTube “Family Systems Theory” explains the benefits of a connected family as opposed to a family that is very separated from each other. Staying connected, acting like a system, parents can take time to discipline their children and teach them healthy habits and behaviors, so then their children behave and act properly, and the parents benefit from the results by having children that are behaved and show respect (PsychologyInSeattle). In this systematic example, everyone in the family benefits, children learn to behave properly, and parents face less issues and more respect from their children. The system continues continuously because once the children show more respect for their parents, they are more likely to listen to * their parent’s advice and learn from discipline. That said, it seems beneficial for parents to put in the effort to teach and discipline their children, however, there are some factors that are unappealing for some parents.

Understanding the importance that parents use these strategies, it is effective to know why parents may not want to put in the effort to exert them. It is obvious that parenting takes a lot of effort and responsibility, but the amount of effort and responsibility that an individual couple exerts is entirely up them. Taking on less parenting responsibilities can open up more opportunities that * normally would be out of reach for parents that are raising a child. With less responsibilities, parents could use their time to * do activities * they * want to do that normally are impossible while raising children. For example, it is common for parents to want to travel and experience new places * , but cannot because of their children. As well, children * can make it difficult for a couple to work two full time jobs, and if a couple needs to, a nanny is usually required to be there for the children. Hiring nannies has become * more accepted this day in age. Many couples have begun using nannies at home to give themselves more time to get things done and have the ability to both work. But the use of nannies is not always great for * children, “early exposure to child care can leave [families] at risk for troubled relationships” (Phillips) * . Also, nannies do not always have the same connection to the children they watch that the parents of those children usually have. Nannies do not necessarily care to help * children grow and learn like a parent would normally (Phillips). * Less parenting responsibilities * seems nice in the eyes of many. It would open up many opportunities for parents that are taken away by having children. But the benefits of taking the time to be with one’s child and care for them as much as possible are * more important than having more freedom as parents * .

When parents are very involved in their children’s lives, children receive more knowledge and love from their parents which hugely benefit them in the long run. It is definitely arguable that parents being highly involved in their children’s lives is not always beneficial, but through the studies analyzed in the paragraphs above, more involvement proves to have significantly deeper importance. Giving children the freedom to learn on their own and * figure out their meaning in life certainly seems like a strategy that would * accelerate children’s maturity. ** The cost of this strategy seems to be something society can lessen and forget about. But the actual benefits that children get from very involved parents outweigh both of those counterarguments. And “children of unresponsive or unavailable parents form their implicit representations of the parents as untrustworthy, aloof, or unpredictable” (Kim) separating the connection between parents and their children. Children connect with their parents more when they are involved with their lives. They learn more vital information that can help them when they are on their own, information that they could not just learn * on their own. Lastly, the lessons children obtain from their parents affect them in the long run and change the way they are in the future.

The long-term effects that behavioral lessons have on children are hugely important for success for that child in life. Children have to receive these behavioral lessons because there’s many negative outcomes * they can face in life when they do not. Basic behavioral lessons have proven to prevent “outcomes such as delinquency, substance use, and school failure among youth” (Olsen), * outcomes that nobody wants. Other negativities that many children face later in life * are depression, unhappiness, and anxiety (TheNewYorkTimes). Life becomes much harder for children dealing with and trying to overcome these emotions which can completely take control over their life. It is extremely important for parents to do everything possible to prevent these emotions from growing large enough to hurt their children’s futures. Everybody deserves * the chance to be the best person they can be and make a life out of their strongest passions. 

Receiving lessons from parents has several positive long-term effects that are very critical to the success in children’s lives. Lessons can be as simple as learning what is right in the world, like caring for your peers, and what is wrong, such as teasing and making fun of others. Behavioral lessons * also help children start to act more mature, such as having good manners, conversing with adults, and beginning to make decisions on their own (TheNewYorkTimes). * Behaviors that children form from their parents can help children advocate for themselves, get * jobs, and even figure out their purpose in life. ** Behavioral lessons are absolutely very valuable for children long-term.

Parents hold such an important role in their children’s lives, more important than any other factor in children’s childhood years. Parents are responsible for making sure their children know what is wrong to say or do in the world. They’re responsible for their children knowing what is right in the world, and how to help and be involved with finding solutions to issues that need to be resolved. Parents must teach their children good behaviors to make them good human beings and valuable members of society. Becoming a parent has so many responsibilities, but adults should be aware of this when they are deciding to have a baby. They should not try to get around the responsibilities of parenting, but rather take them on and do their best, provide their children with the best life they can give them, and give their children * the chance to be whoever they choose to be. Parents should never be taken for granted, for they are the most important factor to the growth of a child.
