While children are still learning the wrongs and rights in the world, they are forming long term behaviors from their experiences. These experiences are often at school, at a friend’s house, or at home. Children have no basis of what good and bad is, unless it is taught to them. So, when a person does something in front of them and does not face any consequences they perceive it as okay. Children can perceive bad habits as good habits if they cannot determine any consequences or no one tells them otherwise. It is up to the adults that know right from wrong to make sure that children understand too. There are a lot of important factors in a child’s life that guide them to behave properly and become their future selves, but parents have the most important role of them all because much of the basic behaviors and habits children obtain are based off of their parent’s actions and teachings.

Children to parents are like prized possessions, they are a new life with billions of possibilities, and it is abnormal for a parent to not want their children to have all these possibilities. Parents strive to provide the best life for their children even if the best they can do for them is not great, they are still trying. When a parent does not want the best for their children it is considered wrong, or bad parenting by most. It is important to understand this concept that parents are mostly trying to nurture their children to have the possible futures that they possibly can.

Today, many of the good behaviors of children are deteriorating and more bad habits are forming. This is most closely observed in the classroom at school than any other location. A survey was taken by “844 staff members [which] 62% felt there were more children with emotional, behavioral and mental health problems” (Townsend) than in years past. There seems to be a clear rise in behavioral problems amongst children. A teacher from the West Midlands Secondary School was interviewed and stated that she had “been sworn at, argued with, shouted at, had books thrown at [her], threatened with physical abuse and had things stolen and broken” (Townsend). This behavior is obviously not acceptable at any point, but especially at school. Even though teachers often intimidate their students, it seems that this intimidation has no power over the rise in bad behaviors. It raises suspicion of the reasons why these behaviors are deteriorating.

There are several reasons to children’s behaviors changing, but the most significant reason has to do with the strategies parents are using to raise their children or enforce their children. Today’s parents are being told to give their children more freedom from a young age with the hope that the children build more independent skills by doing so. A “Parenting Style” journal states that “an excess of parental control may deprive children of the opportunity to develop their autonomy” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.), and in many cases, this can be true. But giving too much freedom, or at too young of an age, can cause issues for children while they are growing up. The same journal says that “parents’ warmth and affection—characterized by positive approval of the child— coupled with a set of coherent, consistent rules positively affects children’s psychological adjustment” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.). Children’s psychology is usually the cause for behavioral issues, which makes it clear why parents should try to control these factors that lead to psychological adjustments. That said, parents that have more control over their children tend to rise children with better behaviors. 

Studies have shown the most effective parenting strategies for most children, and it is the responsibility of parents to practice these effective strategies. It has shown to be true that if parents have more control over their children, their children usually are better behaved. The question that many parents face is: what are the best strategies for control their children? That question is not an easy question to answer, however, researchers have put together “a variety of ‘best practices’ lists to help applied professionals identify effective strategies to implement” (Olsen). Through their studies, researchers found that “parenting styles characterized by consistent discipline and acceptance have been associated with the dimension of temperament and strong self-control” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.) showing that the best strategy is to insert consistent discipline towards their children. Also, showing acceptance towards their children often improves children’s psychology. Adding onto the consistent discipline, it is important to recognize the consistency. When children are disciplined once for doing something wrong, they often will not learn not to do it again. Therefore, to really teach children the wrongs from rights, parents must continue to show the same discipline every time that their child makes that wrong. This helps imbed what they were doing is not good and not worth the consequences. Another important part of the strategy that parents really need to use to be most effective is being cautious of their own actions in front of their children. Children also learn a lot just from what they see and not just what they are taught. When a parent behaves poorly in front of their child the bad behavior is often adapted by the child. For example, “negligence by [a] mother must be considered in relation to the children’s impulsiveness and lack of self-control in tense situations” (Llorca-Mestre, et. Al.). This information from the same study shows that the mothers negligence directly affects her child. There are many more examples of ways parents can negatively affect their children by behaving poorly in front of them, but this example shows exactly what it can do. Parents must watch their actions at all times when their children are around because they do not have control over how their children interpret them. Using these strategies, parents will most likely see an improvement in behavior. 

When parents fail to teach their children valuable lessons that they normally would, children often never end up learning those lessons and will go through life lacking basic knowledge of the wrongs and rights in life. A study has shown that unresponsive relationships between children and their parents leads to a child’s negative, adversarial, rejecting orientation, and to future behavioral problems (Kim). Parents that are unresponsive in times when discipline is needed definitely will see their children’s behavioral issues increase. Basic behavioral lessons are taught at home and not at school. If children do not receive these lessons at home by their parents, it is up to themselves to learn the lessons where they can. This can become very harmful for a child at a young age, the most common response is getting into trouble at school which often becomes a cycle of continuing getting into trouble (Golijan). It is very important that parents implicate behavioral lessons at home to secure that their children are best off at school and the world.

When parents succeed in teaching their children valuable lessons, their children will be able to grow and succeed at their own rate with the knowledge that they learned. Children are a huge responsibility for parents, they’re so many lessons that must be taught, and so many actions that must be taken to improve their children’s future. It can be as simple as encouraging healthy habits, such as things to eat and exercising. A study on children’s health showed that “children whose parents took them to parks, playgrounds or sports activities were twice as likely to meet physical activity guidelines as children whose parents did not do this” (Searing). Physical health can be very important towards children’s behavior because of its connection to the overall psychology of children. Good health makes individuals of all ages overall happier and motivated, and bad behaviors of children usually occur not when they are unhappy with others, but rather when they are unhappy with themselves. It is unusual for a child to want to learn how to be healthy on their own, which is why it’s so important for parents to teach their children the best ways to being healthy and active. Furthermore, a podcast on YouTube “Family Systems Theory” explains the benefits of a connected family as opposed to a family that is very separated from each other. Staying connected, acting like a system, parents can take time to discipline their children and teach them healthy habits and behaviors, so then their children behave and act properly, and the parents benefit from the results by having children that are behaved and show respect (PsychologyInSeattle). In this systematic example, everyone in the family benefits, children learn to behave properly, and parents face less issues and more respect from their children. The system continues continuously because once the children show more respect for their parents, they are more likely to listen to more of their parent’s advice and discipline. In the end, it’s hard to understand why parents would not want to put in the effort to help their children and really themselves as well. 

In today’s society people have given more freedom to the youth in belief that they will be able to teach themselves the life lessons that are vital to success in life, parents see more freedom in their own lives as well when they do not have to constantly nurture their children. It is obvious that parenting takes a lot of responsibility, but how much responsibility can also be determined by the parents themselves. Less responsibility as a parent can open up so many opportunities that would normally be taken away when raising a child. With less responsibility parents could use their time to themselves to do activities that they really want to do. For example, many parents wish to travel and see new places around the world, but they are held back their children. Children also can make it hard for a couple to work two full time jobs, and if they still must, a nanny is usually needed to be there for the children. The use of nannies has become much more accepted this day in age, and more parents have started using nannies at home to give themselves more time to get the things they want to get done. But the use of nannies is not always great for the children, “early exposure to child care can leave them at risk for troubled relationships” (Phillips) with their parents. Also, nannies do not have the same connection to the children they watch as the parents do, and do not necessarily care to help the children grow and learn like a parent would normally. It is clear why less responsibility as a parent would seem nice in the eyes of many, it would open up many opportunities that are taken away by having children. But the benefits of taking the time to be with one’s child as much as possible and care for them all that one can are much more important than parents having more freedom to do things for themselves.

The benefits children receive when their parents are very involved in their lives are huge, and those benefits are very important for children long term, out-weighting the positives of giving children more freedom and more freedom for parents. It is definitely arguable that parents being so involved in their children’s lives cannot always be beneficial, but through the studies analyzed in the paragraphs above, more involvement proves to have significantly deeper importance. Giving children the freedom to learn what they want, and to figure out what they want in life definitely seems like a strategy that could help accelerate children’s maturity. Parents having more freedom in their own lives also seems like a good idea since children are such a huge responsibility. The cost seems to be something society can forget about and lessen. But the actual benefits that children get from very involved parents outweighs both of these counterarguments. And “children of unresponsive or unavailable parents form their implicit representations of the parents as untrustworthy, aloof, or unpredictable” (Kim) separating an important connection between parents and their children. Children connect with their parents more when they are involved with their lives. They learn more vital information that can help them when they are on their own, information that they could not just learn if they had to figure everything out on their own. Lastly, they obtain lessons that affect them in the long run and change the way they are in the future.

The long-term effects that behavioral lessons have on children are so important for success for that person in life. Children need to receive these behavioral lessons because they’re so many negative outcomes that they can face in life when they do not. Basic behavioral lessons have shown to prevent “outcomes such as delinquency, substance use, and school failure among youth” (Olsen) all outcomes that nobody wants. Other negativities that many children face later in life when their parents do not give them the support that they need are depression, unhappiness, and anxiety (TheNewYorkTimes). Life is much harder while dealing and trying to overcome these emotions, and can completely take control of one’s life. It is extremely important to do everything possible to prevent these emotions from growing large enough to hurt someone’s future. Every person deserves to have the chance to be the best person they can be and make a life out of their strongest passions. Not receiving lessons from parents clearly shows to have negative long-term effects, but also actually receiving the lessons has several positive long-term effects that are very critical to success in life. They can be as simple as learning what is right in the world, like caring for your peers, and what is wrong, such as making fun and teasing others. Behavioral lessons can also help children start to act more mature, like having good manners, conversing with adults, and beginning to make their own decisions (TheNewYorkTimes). These behaviors that children form from their parents can help them advocate for their self, get a job, and even figure out their purpose in life. Learning these lessons as a child is so important to avoid the negative effects that children face when they do not and to obtain the positives that the lessons have for their future. Behavioral lessons certainly are very valuable long-term for children to learn.

Parents hold such an important role in their children’s lives, more important than any other factor in childhood years. They are responsible for making sure their children know what is wrong to do or say in the world. They’re responsible for their children knowing what is right in the world, and how to help and be involved with finding solutions to issues that need to be fixed. Parents need to teach their children good behaviors that make them good human beings and valuable members of society. Being a parent has so many responsibilities, but adults should be aware of this when they are deciding to have a baby. They should not try to get around the responsibilities of parenting, but rather take them and do their best, provide their children with the best life they can give them, and present their children with the ability to be whoever they choose to be. Parents should never be taken for granted, for they are the most important factor to the growth of a child.
