The myth that being an only child automatically makes a person retain negative qualities like being selfish spoiled and anti social is just that, a myth. People believe that only children are this that and the other just because they don’t have any siblings. Just because a person is born without a sibling doesn’t make them any less of a person than the rest of us. Children with siblings have the same chance to retain these qualities that the only child stereotype portrays. 

Due to the fact that I am an only child I felt this topic would be perfect for me. This isn't an a huge issue that needs to be fought, more the topic is an old ideology that must be opposed. Back in the 1900's being an only child was rare. The family ideology back then was bigger families. If you were an only child it was generally believed that you were either a mistake or your parents were selfish and wanted more for themselves. Now however the big family meta is changing with America shifting towards smaller families. In a somewhat recent 2008 census, it is stated that about 20% of American families now only have one child. 

Early 1900’s physiologists and psychiatrists have historically preached that only children develop in a negative manner from those with siblings and acquire a plethora of negative personalities, qualities, and behaviors. For example back in the early 1900’s one of biggest psychologists at the time G Stanley Hall reported on some of his early research and wrote that, “Being an only child is a disease in itself, we commonly find the only child jealous, selfish, egotistical, dependent, aggressive, domineering or quarrelsome” (Hall). By his choice of words one can see how negative the early perception of only children were, by the description Mr. Hall gave you would think he is describing some sort of monster. Only borns have been getting denounced heavily for simply existing without siblings for hundreds of years. Back in the early twentieth century the idea of a child with no siblings was seen as a disease and that the world would be better off without these innocent only borns.

Being an only child is made out to be quite a negative concept when really its quite the opposite. Only borns receive perks that most children with siblings would never experience.  One receives their parents’ full attention and resources focused around helping you succeed. Some may call this spoiled but your parents don't have any other children to devote themselves to.

On behalf of the only children I'm here to oppose the stereotypes that are plotted against us only children. The stereotypes aren't harmful to the only child in real life like stereotypes minorities may face on a daily basis. But these stereotypes may cause people who have never met and only child to judge them negatively, really its quite a silly thing to judge a persons character on. Physiologist  Dr Toni Falbo from the University of Texas, who happens to be one of the biggest names involved in the only child study has put countless years of research into countering these stereotypes. Her central claim of her published work in the Psychological Bulletin is that only children do not differ negatively from children with siblings like “experts” have been claiming for a little over a century. Which seems like common sense, but it's reassuring to hear from an educated expert who tirelessly researched the issue.  Dr Falbo and her partner reviewed over one hundred and fifteen published studies on only children before putting out her own piece called "Quantitative review of the only child literature: research evidence and theory development."  Within this piece of educational literature, Falbo worked to reverse many of the common stereotypes out there about only borns. After Dr Falbo studied, researched, and analyzed these copious amounts of  published studies, she concluded that, “The results of our meta-analyses contradict the theoretical notions that only children are deprived or unique.  In achievement, intelligence, and character, only borns excelled beyond their peers with siblings, especially those with many or older siblings. Furthermore, across five developmental out- comes, only children never differed significantly from firstborns or people from two-child families.” (Falbo 185) This is obviously a very debatable topic but to hear those claims from a psychology expert who worked on this study for many years reassures the notion that just because a child is born alone doesn’t mean they differ negatively from non-only borns. 

The extra undivided attention and financial resources that only children receive from their parents bring them closer to their parents and better help them to excel as child and teenager. This help from their parents also allows them to be more social and outgoing in activities like sports and clubs rather than if there were multiple siblings the child may not be able to participate in certain activities that they would like to. This is confirmed by Dr. Falbo who writes" the additional time that parents have probably aids the child's social development in the parents of one child are more likely to have the time to support their child's participation in extracurricular activities and health care" (Falbo 184) Whereas in a family with numerous children parents are usually not able to attend to each and every child the same or have the opportunity to participate in certain extracurricular  which can lead to certain children feeling neglected or like their parents like the other sibling better.

Dr. Falbo’s findings are also backed up by Zeng Chen and Ruth Lui who have put out a phenomenal piece on this topic on behalf of the California State University Phsycology Department. These experts have also concluded that only children are not retaining these negative qualities from the old stereotype, rather they are the same as other children if not better, “Compared to children from medium and large families, singletons have reportedly scored higher in school performance and had higher achievement motivation, higher self-esteem, and higher abilities, especially in verbal skills.” (Chen, Lui 2) 

The stereotype of only children being misfit loners contains the most disagreements within this topic. If a person is an only child it should not automatically concluded or assumed that they are not capable of having the same sense of sociability as a non-only child. Whether a person is social or not comes down to a various list of other factors. Perhaps the child just enjoys their alone time? Could the child possibly be an outcast due to a physical or mental disability they were born with that does not allow them to relate to other children? Were they born with a mental condition? Just because no siblings are present during your upbringing doesn't mean you will lack the sociability that others with siblings may have. Ones upbringing can for sure have an effect on a child’s personality and ability to socialize, but not specifically lacking a brother or sister.  These trait can be learned through the friends and family that an only child has present in their life. The concept that a certain child lacks certain social skills  that others have because they do not have siblings to interact with is a silly notion. While this may be true it forces only borns to find friends and to develop friendships at an earlier age. Friends can do the same job as siblings if not a better job. Also this negative thought of loneliness is often turned into a positive due to the fact that only children create a stronger bond with themselves throughout their life. Lauren Sandler a journalist and writer who wrote a book about only children called “One and Only” says that, “But it was interesting, speaking to psychologists about the experience of loneliness for only children, a lot of them believe that we (only children) have the strongest primary relationship with ourselves, which is incredible armor against loneliness” (Sandler) In my opinion this holds a lot of value because in general you spend more time alone by yourself as life goes on and only children may already be used to this and not have as big of an issue with it and they have the ability to depend on themselves. 

Falbo states that "because only borns spend more time alone or in the presence of adults rather than children, they may acquire preferences for more mature activities such as reading or stamp collecting" while stamp collecting is definitely a bit dated now and can be replaced with forms of art or sports, I believe that this statement holds a strong amount of value within this argument.    

Furthermore, later in life odds are you will be alone a lot more than when you were a kid, and only children already have the jump here and are not fazed by the idea of being alone and relying on yourself to find peace and happiness. The anti social myth is also countered in a study by the sociology department at Ohio state which says, "analyzing 13,466 youths from the national longitudinal study of adolescent health, we find no evidence that only children receive fewer peer nominations of friendship that youths with one or more than one sibling(s). Our results suggest that the previously observed social skills deficit among only children in kindergarten appears to be overcome by adolescence." (Zeher, Downey 1180) 

Being selfish and spoiled is a common connotation that comes with being an only child. Numerous times in my own life I have been called a spoiled brat (in a somewhat jokingly manner) by simply existing. Being spoiled doesn't have to do with being an only child. First of all, as a kid you cannot control what family you are born into or how they treat you. Also just because you do not have a sibling doesn't deem you a legitimate spoiled brat. Besides does being spoiled mean that you're a bas person? No it just means that your parents have the resources and they choose to give you an easier life than other might have, and you shouldn't be degraded for that. In fact families with numerous children can be just as spoiled.  Zeng Chen and Ruth Liu confirm to us that, "They (only borns) are no more spoiled than their siblinged counterparts, regardless of the societal environments in which they have been raised.”

The times are shifting and only children stereotypes are slowly being reversed and questioned.  Being an only child is not a disease and these children should definitely not be judged as selfish spoiled loners when they are just as equal as kids with parents. We only children are just like all the citizens who grew up with siblings, not everyone has to have the same upbringing. It is okay to be a bit different and it is okay to take advantage of your parent’s full attention and resources. Why would you turn that down? The only child stereotypes are fake news and hold very little value in today’s day and age.
