Every day individuals, specifically children, are affected by the traumatic event of divorce. Divorce is defined as the action or an instance of legally dissolving a marriage (“Divorce”). Although an individual experiencing this can be impacted in several different ways, the psychological effects of divorce tend to spark the most discussion. To put this into perspective, these psychological effects include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and thoughts of betrayal – all things that you never want to hear being associated with any individual.  In the United States alone, there are approximately 800,000+ divorces a year, with the divorce rate being 3.2 out of every 1,000 Americans (NCHS). When looking at these numbers, more times than not, a child, or multiple children, are involved and put in the middle of their parents struggles. Each year over one million American children suffer from the divorce of their parents (Fagan). Statistically, at least two out of five children will see their parents separate in the course of growing up and be forced to encounter some or all of the consequences in family disruption (Furstenberg and Teitler). The psychological effects on children from divorce are often long-term making it difficult for them to cope with change over a long period of time. It has been shown that children of divorce are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year (Children Divorce Stastistics). The long-term psychological issues that arise in children from divorce are detrimental to their transition from childhood to adulthood which is then reflected through their future relationships, academic success, and overall social ability. 

The future relationships an individual will form with their significant other is an important piece of life that is learned as we mature and grow. However, divorced children that have faced the damaging long-term psychological impacts have difficulty shaping and maintaining relationships throughout their transition from childhood to adulthood. Clearly, issues are present throughout an individual’s adult years as one source states, “…parental divorce during childhood or adolescence continues to have a negative effect when a person is in his or her twenties and early thirties”, the age most associated with forming solid relationships with a partner (Cherlin).

When children are young and initially face parental divorce, they tend to exhibit low trust. A lack of trust prevents the deepening of future relationships due to the vulnerability of divorced children (Johnston and Thomas). This has been concluded through research, as “One study showed that individuals whose parents divorced were more likely than individuals whose parents remained married to believe that relationships were beset by infidelity and the absence of trust, and they were also more likely to believe that relationships should be approached with caution” (Weigel 15-32). This mindset, relative to psychological aspect, within divorced children is damaging as they become adults and try to form relationships. Another source suggests that children of divorce are more likely to experience issues with emotional intimacy and are more likely to see their own marriages end in divorce than are children whose parents stayed married (Feng et al. 451-463). In one personal account, Emily Witham, now 21, explained that because of her parent’s divorce she has more trouble trusting potential romantic partners (Binzer). Emily’s parents got divorced when she was only one year old, and began experiencing trust issues when she was only fourteen. She always expected her relationships to result in heartache just like her parent’s relationship.  It is evident that the long-term psychological impacts divorced children face play a role in the obstacles they face in creating relationships as adults. 

“Numerous studies over time have shown that coming from divorced parents can change a person’s views on commitment, abandonment, trust and marriage… because of this, as millennials are growing into and through adulthood, many children of divorce are experiencing issues with trusting partners romantically, fearing the concept of marriage, and feeling the need to work extra hard to avoid distance themselves” (Binzer). To reiterate, the psychological impacts that divorced children carry on into adulthood can create a hesitancy toward marriage. “Persons raised in divorced families tend to have less positive attitudes towards marriage, and more positive attitudes toward divorce”, stated in one source (Cui et al). This mindset brought on by the psychological issues children face contributes to decreased commitment to romantic relationships, thus leading to lower relationship quality. Another contributing factor to this hesitancy of marriage in divorced children is their overall acceptance of divorce as a solution. Although the idea of acceptance seems contradictory, many divorced children see divorce as a result of marriage that is unavoidable. Rather than seeing marriage as long-lasting, the concept of divorce being unavoidable ultimately creates the hesitancy children of divorced families express toward marriage. In one study, Judith Wallerstein found that children of parental divorce had continuous anxiety about their chances of a good marriage even a decade after their parent’s divorce (Second Chances). This study indicates that psychological issues such as anxiety in this case among children of divorce contribute to their hesitancy of entertaining a marriage in the future and how accepting they are of the result of divorce, thinking it is the only result and being okay with that assumption. 

Not only do the effects of divorce in children cause trust issues and hesitancy toward future relationships (marriages especially), but parental divorce also has an impact on children’s behavior within these relationships as they become adults. One way this behavior is demonstrated is through the statistically likelihood of divorced children to marry or divorce. As stated in one source, “Children who have experienced parental divorce are more than twice as likely to divorce, compared with children of intact families” (Webster et al 404-432). This is due to the psychological effects divorced children face when they are younger. As they enter adulthood these effects carry long into their adult relationships creating higher expectations and increasing the likelihood of divorce as an option. Marital behavior, in particular, is characterized by increased rates of jealousy, moodiness, infidelity, etc., in those affected by parental divorce (Amato and Rogers). All of the aforementioned rates also contribute to the likelihood of divorce we associate with children of divorce. 

The academic success of children that go through divorce is another way we can evaluate how detrimental the long-term psychological effects really are on their transition from childhood to adulthood. When students are young school tends to be easier for the most part, but as they grow older school becomes more difficult which can create stress and feelings of being overwhelmed. On top of this stress, divorced children have added stress from how traumatizing divorce can be to their overall well-being and lifestyle. This extra stress ultimately has an effect on their performance in school. Trying to cope with divorce while keeping up with school work and maintaining good grades is a difficult task for any individual. For example, Daniel Potter of the University of Virginia found that elementary-aged children of divorce immediately begin performing worse academically than children who have not experienced divorce (Potter). Guidubaldi and Perry found large differences in achievement even as early as kindergarten (Jeynes). Not only does this under-performance exist at a young age in divorced children, but at an older age too. Those who are affected by divorce are less educated by adulthood and have lower educational aspirations, such as a lack of motivation to advance school-wise. Moreover, it was found that “33 percent of students who have already completed secondary school but who have experienced their parents’ divorce graduate from college, compared to 40 percent among their peers from intact families” (Evans and Kelley 285). It is evident that poor performance during childhood carries on through their transition to adulthood, and is damaging to their ability to live up to their fullest potential. 

Academic success can determine the career or job of an individual, and with lower rates of success in divorced children, once they enter the work force as adults they may not receive the best job or opportunity available. These lower rates of success are characterized by psychological issues of divorce, such as low self-esteem, that they face at a younger age. A lack of self-esteem in any individual is damaging to their future potential because they feel as if they cannot make the same achievements as others, which carries on long throughout adulthood. One source mentions, “Adolescents with low self-esteem are less likely to earn a higher education in adulthood” (Trzesniewski et al), which reinstates the idea that low self-esteem contributes to lower rates of success in the academic community. Issues such as low self-esteem are common and also explain why the psychological aspect plays a direct role in how well those who face divorce perform in school. Researcher Daniel Potter found this to be true stating that the psychological piece of divorce is an important factor in poor math and reading scores, which reflects in how successful they are academically (Potter). The mindset created from the combination of low academic performance and lack of motivation due to psychological issues such as low self-esteem is harming to young children as they grow into adults.

Lastly, through the overall social ability of an individual that has experienced divorce, it is obvious the psychological issues faced are damaging to their transition from childhood to adulthood. The ability to be social is defined by the communication and interactions between people. Overall social ability includes the relationships individuals have with friends and family and communication skills. However, a divorced individual tends to have rocky relationships with friends and even family due to the psychological issues that come along with divorce. Again, a child that has experienced divorce exhibits low trust in their relationships with others, making it hard for them to even trust their own family and friends. As one source states, “When parents’ divorce each other, another sort of divorce occurs between the parents and their children” (Meneghan and Parcel 69-84). To explain, the same source goes on to say that there is immediately a decline in the relationship between parent and child which is one way we see rocky relationships form among family. Furthermore, one relationship with one parent can be remotely worse than the other. For example, it has been found that divorced fathers more often than less do not fare well with their children, and children receive less emotional support from their fathers through a divorce (Riggio). These rocky relationships with a parent can persist and get worse through adulthood, and add on to other life stressors. Although the inability to trust is simply just a mindset, it can create difficulties as they transition from childhood to adulthood and begin forming romantic relationships. 

Divorced children also can face a loss of communication skills. Communication skills are necessary to effectively get a point or idea across to someone else, whether it be good or bad. Communication skills are also necessary in every period of life, in both childhood and adulthood there are important times to communicate with others. Divorced children that face such psychological issues of anxiety or depression often lack communication skills and sometimes lose them depending on the severity of the case. These issues make them not as open with others, and not as eager to communicate exactly how they are feeling due to the possibility of being rejected. The action of keeping their feelings inside instead of discussing them, may cause children to lose that part of their communicative development (Pearce). The feeling of rejection is explained in one source where Gerald Patterson of the Oregon Social Learning Center concluded that “poor social skills, characterized by aversive or coercive interaction styles, lead directly to rejection by normal peers” (Gottman and Parkhurst).

On the other hand, some sources focus on the short-term effects of divorce. Contrary to popular belief, some even suggest that there aren’t any long-term effects at all. Instead of the long-term psychological issues of divorce being detrimental to a child’s transition from childhood to adulthood, sources analyze the effects in a different light. Rather arguing that children do better as adults and are able to cope better with conflict due to divorce. In the article “Is Divorce Bad for Children?”, evidence found from a study conducted by sociologist Paul Amato concluded that most children do well in the longer term. The study compared children of parental divorce with children of intact families, and the studies found small differences between families in aspects such as behavior problems and delinquency, suggesting that the vast majority of children endure divorce well (Lilienfeld and Arkowitz). The research done in this article favors the idea that most children of divorce become well-adjusted adults, thus contradicting my research that divorce can be potentially harmful through the adulthood of those who faced divorce as a child.  

Only one other source agreed with such claims that children benefit from their parent’s divorce, providing a different perspective that “children living in dysfunctional families actually exhibited higher levels of antisocial behavior before their parents’ divorce than afterwards” (Is Divorce Always Bad for the Kids?). Although these claims might make sense for some children, there is a substantial amount of evidence in my research that states otherwise. Most children do face longer term issues resulting in a difficult transition from childhood to adulthood which is clear through the academic success, future relationships, and overall social ability of that individual. 

Many children are victims of parental divorce and face the psychological issues first-hand that come along with the divorce. It has been said that there is no such thing as a good divorce (Macrae). However, there are several preventative steps that can be taken to ensure a smoother transition from childhood to adulthood for the children that are affected. First and foremost, parents need to be more cautious and sympathetic to their children’s feelings. All children react differently to divorce, and it is important for parents to be understanding throughout the coping process. Parents also need to monitor their children more closely to make sure they don’t completely shut the world out. Mentioned previously in this paper, some children can begin to lack communication skills by keeping their feelings inside. To ensure this does not turn into a bigger problem, parents can let their children know that they can talk to them about divorce without one parent bad mouthing the other. Parents play the biggest role in contributing to a smooth transition as their children grow older. In one TED talk, Tamara Afifi said that children take divorce so hard because of how close they are with their parents. All of these procedures together can ultimately benefit any child of divorce as they transition to adulthood. The impact of the psychological issues among children of divorce can be analyzed through how well they do in school, the relationships they form in the future, and overall how social they are. Under-achievements in school, the inability to establish stable relationships, and lack of communication skills are detrimental to an individual’s transition from childhood to adulthood. 
