American society first began to see the steady rise in depletion of marriages and rise of parental divorce in the mid 1950s (Desai). There are many explanations for this rise in “split ups” such as, the rise in feminism with females’ incorporation into the workplace; and even new cultural phenomena such as rock, sex, and drugs becoming more socially acceptable. For each marriage comes a different reason as to why the divorce occurred and the marriage could no longer continue. However, by the end of the 1980s, divorce rates did not just start declining back down to where it was previously at, but its statistical percentage just flat lined and has stayed where it is until present day. Divorce rates then and now fluctuate yearly between 42-48 percent of marriages ending in divorce (Desai). Divorce has now become socially normal with a sense of an everyday thing for marriages, especially those with children. Every year, over one million children in America are affected by parental divorce. Parents going through a separation/ divorce with children tend to come to the consensus that what is best for the adults — what makes them happiest and healthiest — must be what is best for the children as well. “What is good for mom and dad is what is good for the children,” became a popular thrown around phrase in society (Desai). This assumption towards the affect it would cause for children could not be farther from the truth. After years of research it has become clear that children who experience parental divorce suffer drastically when their parents split up. Parental divorce has a negative effect on children, which can be seen through their internal psychological state, and their external risks and actions. 

Divorce creates chaos when it comes to the internal psychological stability of many children. When the divorce first occurs, children go through a wide array of negative emotions such as sadness, fear, loneliness, anger, and rejection while trying to cope with the trauma that took place in their family structure. The National Survey of Children analyzed the findings that parental divorce leads to a higher rate of several mental health disorders in children who experience a “broken family” environment. Several of these mental health disorders are depression, anxiety, impulsive/hyperactive behavior, mood disorders, bipolar disorder, and even PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) (Marripedia 3). Children ages five and younger that experience divorce tend to be more vulnerable to emotional conflicts during the separation. These children tend to suffer from severe separation anxiety and as a result regress back to old former habits such as, “crying at bed times, breaking toilet training, bed-wetting, clinging, whining, tantrums, and temporary loss of established self-care skills,”  all of which habits tend to lead to greater parental attentiveness towards the child (Pickhardt). A child's regression to earlier dependency can be a twisted way of them trying to bring forth closer relationships after they have felt so torn apart by the change and separation that occurred in their family structure. 

Older children, also known as adolescents, that experience parental divorce are more likely to do the opposite of young children, and withdraw from family/ home life seeking greater independence. Frequently, adolescents react in a more aggressive, angry, rebellious manner disregarding family discipline in sights that he/she must take care of themselves since the parents have failed to do so. "If they can't be trusted to stay together and take care of the family, then I need to start relying more on myself,” is a phrase widely thought by rebelling preteens and teenagers (Pickhardt). Adolescents after experiencing parental divorce tend to try and act on their own, more determined to live their life independently on their terms by their “rules.” There is also a difference between the behavioral outcomes of adolescent males and females as different sexes when looking at aggression after divorce. Males are far more likely to react aggressive than females when coping.

Parental Divorce in children is highly associated with a greater risk of all types of mental health issues illnesses, but especially when looking at the increased risk towards depression and anxiety. Depression, “is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act,” while anxiety, is “extreme apprehension and worry” (American Psychiatric Association, Psychology Today). For both males and females of all ages when divorce occurs, we see an increase in risk assessments towards depression and anxiety; however ,males cope emotionally relatively worse than their female counterparts. Boys from parental divorce are more likely to experience depression and anxiety than girls are (Churchill&Fagan 43).  The only exception to this psychological risk assessment of greater mental health risks is when a child comes from a “high conflict” family divorce. According to the Department of Sociology and the University of Pennsylvania, child well being improves when coming from a marriage of extreme conflict (Churchill&Fagan 44).  

Along with mental health issues, children of parental divorce tend to exhibit a greater deal of external behavioral problems. During separation or divorce conflict in the union of parents often leads to, “less affection, less responsiveness, and more inclination to punish their children,” told by Churchill and Fagan, which can lead to children feeling emotionally confused and insecure (Churchill and Fagan 13). When children of divorce are left confused and misunderstood with no one to turn to because their usual role models (the parents) are lacking guidance, they often react by communicating their frustrations through fighting and other angry tendencies in social situations. This is why children who engage in delinquent acts such as fighting and stealing are shown to be far more likely to come from a separated home lifestyle than are the “well-behaved” children praised in a school classroom environment. Boys specifically are prone to deal in aggressive delinquent behavior during and following a divorce up to the ages of middle school, when they tend to mellow out in aggressive behavior (Fagan&Churchill 14). 

Children of parental divorce have a changed perspective and attitude towards sexual relationships subjects, such as an overall increased approval of premarital casual sex, and a lack of endorsement in the topics of marriage and children. Sexual actions from children of divorced families, primarily intercourse, have an earlier debut than those children from intact families. “American and British studies repeatedly show that daughters of divorced parents will be more likely to approve of premarital sexual intercourse and teen sexual activity and to engage in early sexual intercourse outside of marriage” (Churchill and Fagan 16-17). Looking at statistics from the United States alone, females whose parents divorced before the age of five were eight times more likely to suffer from teenage pregnancy than those from intact families (Desai). The effects divorce has on sexual behaviors in children move past their childhood years and extend further into adulthood. Adults that were previously children of parental divorce have a greater risk to partake in emotional and sexual affairs, and have greater number of sexual partners throughout their lifespan than those adults that were raised in intact families (Churchill&Fagan).

Sexual Relationships are not the only kinds affected; romantic relationships as well suffer from prior parental divorce through a lack of trust when trying to attach and connect. “Children of divorced parents fear being rejected, and a lack of trust frequently hinders a deepening of their relationship” (Churchill&Fagan 20). These children feel rejected by their parents after the divorce and do not trust them for causing chaos and havoc in their lives at such a young age. This insecurity manifests itself in a lack of trust in romantic relationships. The lack of trust can start as early as when the divorce occurs, but will last into adulthood relationships as well. Women are more likely than men to to report less trust and satisfaction in romantic relationships (Hetherington). Individuals who experienced parental divorce expect to face future relationships with caution, always having their guard up and the assumption that the relationship will not work out. 

Parental divorce and separation have a negative effect on the way children perform in an educational environment throughout their life. Daniel Potter, of the University of Virginia, concluded in a study that children educated in elementary school and higher who experience a divorced family immediately perform academically worse than their classmates and peers from intact families (Churchill&Fagan 27). Lack of engagement in the classroom is the first sign of negative effects seen in the education system caused by parental divorce. Children in intact families show a strong passion to do well in school, and perform school work without being told; while children and adolescents of parental divorce tend to do the bare minimum to get by. Engagement in the classroom affects important areas for children and adolescents such as their grades and test scores that help determine courses fro the rest of their lives. “High school students in intact families have GPAs 11 percent higher than those from divorced families” (Churchill&Fagan 28). Having higher grade point averages affects the classes a student gets to take and the post graduate education they go through with, leaving children of divorced families at a detrimental disadvantage from their peers that grew up in families who did not separate. In an Impact of Divorce Project performed by Kent State University researchers found, “children from divorced homes performed worse in reading, spelling, and math” (Churchill&Fagan 28). The subject areas specifically struggled by children of divorce are the ones used in almost every standardized testing unit across America (reading, mathematics, and writing), which show the weaknesses of these children. 

Absence in the classroom is also negatively affected when a child experiences family separation and divorce. “One study found that children whose parents divorced skipped nearly 60 percent more class periods than children from intact families” (Marripedia). This is important because in todays education system, so much is affected by absence rate in the classroom, even at high school levels if an adolescent misses to many days of school that state can legally confiscate that male of females drivers license. Children and adolescents with divorced parents are also at a higher risk to be suspended from and to drop out of high school without completing their primary twelve grades. In fact, only sixty-five to sixty-seven percent of adolescents from divorced families end up graduating high school. In contrast, eighty-five percent of adolescents living with both parents graduate high school (Marripedia-education). Furthermore, after high school, parental divorce reduces the odds that the child will attend college. Studies show that thirty-three percent of adolescent students who finish high school but suffered from parental divorce graduate from a four year college bachelors degree; however, forty percent of their peers from intact families graduate with a Bachelor’s degree (Marripedia-education). Looking at the studies, one can see divorce has a greater impact on the chances regarding secondary school, but college is still affected. “Children from intact married families have the highest high school graduation rate, and are more likely to gain more education after graduating from high school than those from other family structures” (Marripedia-education). 

Parental divorce has been shown to have a strong correlation with adolescent drug and alcohol abuse. A study by the Center for Population and Family Research concluded that teens who mature in a divorced environment and household are at greater risk for substance abuse than those that grew up in intact families (Colin). This is due to the extra stresses divorce brings into a child’s life causing them to create outlets for stress relief. Specific externalizing behaviors of drug abuse parental divorce predicts are those of tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, and occasionally other illegal drugs. Illegal drug use by these adolescents that can eventually turn into drug abuse starts off as a coping mechanism to deal with the sudden change and lack of stability in the family environment they are a part of. Single-parent and divorced households often lack a sense of structure and expectations increasing the chances teens fall into the drug and alcohol illegal scene. Parents going through a separation or divorce tend to be more focused on fixing their own lives, again bringing back the notion “what makes the parent happiest and healthiest makes the child happiest and healthiest,” and will fail to see negative changes in their child’s behavior. “Without parents being there to guide them, teenagers turn to their peers, who often play a significant part in their first encounter with drugs” (Colin). During and after parental divorce, children seek the need to feel intimacy anywhere except their home life, which tends to lead them to substance use with peers. Through drug and alcohol abuse, adolescents feel like they get to connect with other people on the same issues they are dealing with, while at the same time lashing out and going against the chaos of divorce their parents have brought them. Research has found that, looking at the use of hard drugs (cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, oxycodone,etc), less than eight percent of children from intact families grades seven through twelve have tried them, versus over fifteen percent of children from divorced families that have tried hard drugs (Churchill&Fagan 40). 

What some psychologist and therapist have discussed is the difficulty that people have not taken into consideration the possible benefits that occasionally come from being a child of divorce. Children of divorce tend to display more independence than their peers that come from intact families. Whether it be from their need to self-protect, these children’s independence is unmatched. Children from parental divorce tend to have a higher emotional intelligence when dealing with others than their peers, showing to be more sympathetic and sensitive about other people’s feeling when they can tell someone else is upset. Becoming higher achievers is another trend in children of divorce. These children tend to push themselves beyond limits in areas such as school, sports, the arts, and other talents (Shemin). In my experience, being raised by a single parent caused me to quickly act as an “over achiever”, and push myself to be the best athlete around me. From winning most athletic in high school, staying away from illegal alcohol and drugs, and eventually committing to join the military, these are all things I say I did for not only myself, but also to prove to my dad and others that just because bad things happened to me and I grew up given harder circumstances than my peers does not mean I would not become extraordinary. However, while these arguments from researchers defending divorce as possibly beneficial to children have some effect, they are still wrong. For every overly independent child that comes from parental divorce, there are even more children who can not trust social and romantic relationships when forming in adulthood because all they have known is the urge to be independent and not need anyone. For every child whose emotional intelligence is higher because they feel the need to bond outside their family comes more children who can not empathize with others around them. And for every over achieving child that come from parental divorce comes the risk of what happens when they finally cannot be the best or grow to be better? These “over achievers” more likely than not spiral into a state of confusion and depression of what to do next.

Nothing in child and adolescent behaviors growing up for both those with intact families and those with divorced families is black and white. There are those parents who do “get it right” with their choice to divorce and learn to co-parent incredibly. And there are those certain children of parental divorce gone wrong who exemplify more resilience known possible and rise above the circumstances given to them to create their own destinies. However, for every one of the one and a million kids who do benefit from parental divorce there are so many more that do not. This proves the negative effects of divorce on those children’s internal psychological state and external risks and actions are far greater than the positive ones. 
