American society first began to see the steady rise in the depletion of marriage and parental divorce in the mid 1950s, and soon plateaued by late 1980s. (Desai) There are many explanations for this rise in “split ups” including, the rise in feminism with females greater incorporation into the workplace, or even new cultural phenomanoms such as rock, sex, and drugs becoming more socially acceptable. For each marriage comes a different reason deep rooted down as to why the divorce occurred and the marriage could no longer work out. What they all have in common is that when the end of the 1980s came divorce did not just start declining back down to where it was previously, its statistical percentage just flat lined and has stayed where it is until now, today, in 2017. Divorce rates then and now fluctuate yearly between 42-48 percent of marriages ending in divorce. (Desai) Divorce has now become socially normal and ordained throughout society becoming an everyday thing when looked on throughout families, especially those accompanied by children. Every year, over one million children in America are affected by parental divorce. Parents going through a separation/ divorce with children tend to come to the consensus that what is best for the adults — what makes them happiest and healthiest — must be what is best for the children as well. “What is good for mom and dad is what is good for the children,” became a widely thrown around phrase in society. (Desai) This assumption towards children could not be farther from the truth, after years of research it has become clear that children who experience parental divorce suffer dramatically when their parents split up. Parental divorce has a negative effect on children, which can be seen through their internal cognitive psychological developments, and their external risks and actions. 

Divorce creates chaos when focused on the internal psychological stability of many children. When the divorce first occurs, children go through a wide array of negative emotions such as sadness, fear, loneliness, anger, and rejection while trying to cope with the trauma that took place in their family structure. The National Survey of Children analyzed the findings that parental divorce leads to a higher rate of several mental health disorders in children who experience a “broken family” environment. These mental health disorders are depression, anxiety, impulsive/hyperactive behavior, mood disorders, bipolar disorder, and even PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) (Marripedia 3). Children ages from five and younger that experience divorce tend to be more vulnerable to emotional conflicts during the separation. These children tend to suffer from severe separation anxiety and in so regress back to old former habits such as, “crying at bed times, breaking toilet training, bed-wetting, clinging, whining, tantrums, and temporary loss of established self-care skills,”  all of which habits tend to lead to greater parental attentiveness towards the child (Pickhardt). A child's regression to earlier dependency can be a twisted way of them trying to bring them closer, when they have felt so torn apart by the change and separation. Older children, also known as adolescents, that experience parental divorce are more likely to do the opposite of young children and withdraw from family/ home life, and seek greater independence. Frequently, adolescents react in a more aggressive, angry, rebellious manner disregarding family discipline in sights that he/she must take care of themselves since the parents have failed to do so. Often thinking along the lines of, "If they can't be trusted to stay together and take care of the family, then I need to start relying more on myself.” (Pickhardt) Adolescents after experiencing parental divorce will try and act on their own, more determined to live their life independently on their terms by their “rules.”

Parental Divorce in children is highly associated with a greater risk of all types of mental illnesses, but especially when looking at the increased risk towards depression and anxiety. Depression, “is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act,” while anxiety, is “extreme apprehension and worry.”(American Psychiatric Association)(Psychology Today) For both males and females of all ages when divorce occurs we see an increase in risk assessments towards depression and anxiety, however males cope emotionally relatively worse than their female counterparts. Boys from parental divorce are more likely to experience depression and anxiety than girls are. (Churchill&Fagan 43) 

Children of parental divorce tend to exhibit a greater deal of social incompetence and behavioral problems. During separation or divorce conflict in the union of parents often leads to, “less affection, less responsiveness, and more inclination to punish their children,” told by Churchill and Fagan, leading to children feeling emotionally confused and insecure. (Churchill and Fagan 13) When children of divorce are left confused and misunderstood with no one to turn to because their usual role models (the parents) are lacking guidance they often react to communicating their frustrations through fighting and angry tendencies in social situations. This is why children who engage in delinquent acts such as fighting and stealing are shown to be far more likely to come from a broken home than are the “well-behaved” children praised in a school classroom environment.

Children of parental divorce have a changed perspective and attitude towards sexual relationships subjects, such as an overall increased approval of premarital casual sex, and a lack of endorsement in the topics of marriage and children. Sexual actions from children of divorced families, primarily intercourse, have an earlier debut than those children from intact families. “American and British studies repeatedly show that daughters of divorced parents will be more likely to approve of premarital sexual intercourse and teen sexual activity and to engage in early sexual intercourse outside of marriage.” (Churchill and Fagan 16-17) Looking at statistics from the United States alone, females whose parents divorced before they were five years old were eight times more likely to suffer from teenage pregnancy than those whose parents remained married. (Desai) The affects divorce has on sexual behaviors in children move past their childhood years and extend further into adulthood. Adults that were previously children of parental divorce have a greater risk to partake in emotional and sexual affairs, and have greater number of sexual partners throughout life than those adults that were raising in intact families. (Churchill&Fagan) 

Sexual Relationships are not the only kinds affected, romantic relationships as well suffer from prior parental divorce through a lack of trust when trying to attach and connect. “Children of divorced parents fear being rejected, and a lack of trust frequently hinders a deepening of their relationship.”(Churchill&Fagan 20) These children feel rejected by their parents after the divorce and do not trust them for causing chaos and havoc in their lives at such a young age. This insecurity manifests itself in romantic relationships lack of trust. The lack of trust can start as early as when the divorce occurs, but will last into adulthood relationships as well. Women were more likely than men to to claim less trust and satisfaction in romantic relationships. Individuals who experienced parental divorce are expected to face future relationships with caution always having a guard up and the assumption the relationship will not work out. 

Parental divorce and separation have a negative effect on the way children perform in an educational environment throughout their life. Daniel Potter, of the University of Virginia, concluded in a study that children educated in elementary school and higher who experience a broken family immediately perform academically worse than their classmates and peers from intact families. (Churchill&Fagan 27) Engagement in the classroom is the first sign seen in children of negative effects in education caused by parental divorce. Children in intact families show a strong passion to do well in school, and perform school work without being told; while children and adolescents of parental divorce tend to do the bare minimum to get by. (Marripedia) Engagement in the classroom effect important areas for children and adolescents such as their grades and test scores that help determine courses fro the rest of their lives. “High school students in intact families have GPAs 11 percent higher than those from divorced families.”(Churchill&Fagan 28) Having higher grade point averages effects the classes a student takes and the post graduate education a adolescents will be able to partake in, leaving children of divorced families at a detrimental disadvantage from their peers that grew up in families who did not separate. In an Impact of Divorce Project performed by Kent State University they found, “children from divorced homes performed worse in reading, spelling, and math.” (Churchill&Fagan 28) The subject areas specifically struggled by children of divorce are the ones used in almost every standardized testing unit across America, which shows the weaknesses of these children. 

Absence in the classroom is also negatively effected when a child experiences family separation and divorce. “One study found that children whose parents divorced skipped nearly 60 percent more class periods than children from intact families.” (Marripedia) This is important because in todays education system so much is effected by absence rate in the classroom, even at high school levels if an adolescent misses to many days of school that state can legally confiscate that male of females drivers license.  Children and adolescents with divorced parents are also at a higher risk to suffer from high school suspension or dropping out, resulting in not completing their primary twelve grades. The statistical difference is so dramatic stating that for adolescents living in intact families eighty five percent graduate high school, however, only sixty five to sixty seven percent of adolescents from divorced families end up graduating high school.(Marripedia) Furthermore, leading off of high school parental divorce reduces the odds that child will attend college. Studies show that thirty three percent of adolescent students who finish high school, but were victims of parental divorce graduate from a four year college bachelors degree, however, forty percent of their peers from intact families graduate with a bachelors degree.(Marripedia) Looking at the studies we see divorce has a greater impact on the chances regarding secondary school, but college is still effected. “Children from intact married families have the highest high school graduation rate, and are more likely to gain more education after graduating from high school than those from other family structures.” (Marripedia) 

Parental divorce has been shown to have a strong correlation with adolescent drug and alcohol abuse. A study by the Center for Population and Family Research concluded that teens who mature in a divorced environment and household are at greater risk for substance abuse than those that grew up in intact families.(Colin) Specific externalizing behaviors of abuse parental divorce predicts are those of tobacco, alcohol. primarily marijuana, and occasionally other illegal drugs. Illegal drug use by these adolescents that can eventually turn into drug abuse starts off as a coping mechanism to deal with the sudden change and lack of stability in the family environment they are apart of. Single-parent and divorced households often lack a sense of structure and expectations increasing the chances teens fall into the drug and alcohol illegal scene. Parents going through a separation or divorce tend to be more focused on fixing their own lives, again bringing back the notion “what makes the parent happiest and healthiest makes the child happiest and healthiest,” and will fail to negative changes in their children. “Without parents being there to guide them, teenagers turn to their peers, who often play a significant part in their first encounter with drugs.”(Colin) During and after parental divorce, children seek the need to feel intimacy anywhere but their home life which tends to gravitate them to substance use with peers. Through drug and alcohol abuse adolescents feel like they get to connect with other people on the same issues they are dealing with, at the same time lash out and go against the chaos of divorce their parents have brought them. Research has also found then looking at the use of hard drugs (cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, oxycodone,etc) less than eight percent of children grades seven through twelve from intact families have tried them, versus over fifteen percent of children from divorced families have tried hard drugs.(Churchill&Fagan 40) 

What people from the outside lack to see are the possible benefits that some say come from being a child of divorce. Children of divorce tend to display more independence than their peers that come from intact families. Whether it be from their need to self-protect, these children’s independence is unmatched. Children from parental divorce tend to have a higher emotional intelligence than their peers, showing to be more curious and sensitive to others. Becoming higher achievers is another trend in children of divorce. Pushing themselves beyond limits in areas such as school, sports, and talents.(Shemin) Being raised by a single parent in my experience came to cause me to be the “over achiever”, and pushing myself to be the best athlete, winning most athletic in high school, keeping away from alcohol and drugs, and eventually joining the military, were all things I say I did for myself, but also to prove to my dad and the world just because bad things have happened to me and I do not have half my family does not mean I wont be extraordinary, because with my drive I became it. Even though these arguments from people defending divorce as possibly beneficial to children have some effect, they are still wrong. For every overly independent child that comes from parental divorce, there are even more children who can not trust in peer and romantic relationships when forming in adulthood because all they have known is the need to be independent and not need anyone. For every child who’s emotional intelligence is greater because they feel the need to bond outside their family comes ones who strive to fix everyone and everything around them. And for ever high over achiever child that comes from parental divorce comes the risk of what happens when we finally can not be the best or be better, and for those who can not reach that what happens? More drug and substances abuse possibly? 

Nothing in child and adolescent behaviors growing up for both those with intact families and those with divorced families is black and white. Their are those parents who “get it right” with their choice to divorce and co-parent incredibly, and their are those children of parental divorce gone wrong who exemplify more resilience known possible and rise above the circumstances given to them to create their own destinies. But for every one of the one and a million kids who do benefit from divorce their are so many more that do not proving the negative effects of divorce effecting those children’s internal psychological cognitive development and external risks and actions are far greater than the positive ones. 
