As I scrolled through twitter just to fill time, a notification popped up that someone had tweeted something about me. It was hard to understand why someone would try to publicly shame and make false accusations about me, and why other people began to like it. This was not reality, yet to anyone scrolling through, there was no way to differentiate between the truth.  It led me to question why these words, from someone that barely even talked to me, affected me so much. 

The increasing consumption of social media such as Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook in our daily routine has developed addictive behavior through a constant need to check for new updates. The obvious effect of this obsession with technology would be the downfall of social skills; however, it is not the only problem we are facing. The continual influence of social media also damages self-esteem and mental well-being by putting pressure, especially on young girls and women, to live up to the American ideals of beauty. Altered images have become so ubiquitous it has made beauty standards unrealistic, and a damaging expectation is set even when we are aware that the images are not real. 

I did not realize how much social media and the opinions of others affected what I thought of myself from what I wore and how I looked, to even what I liked and how I acted. I never realized how much thought and time I put into editing the perfect photo or making the perfect caption until after this recent incident with cyberbullying where I decided to delete my social media accounts, including Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. It wasn’t even hours later from doing so that I felt the need to scroll through social media to see if anything new was happening. Knowing that I did not have the apps anymore I would still check my phone for updates just out of habit, even when I knew what I saw on social media would only tear me down. 

At only seventeen, I realized that what I was facing was an addiction. Although it was not with drugs of any kind, it was still the same compulsive psychological need and repeated involvement with an activity, despite the substantial harm it causes, because that involvement was pleasurable. As much as I wanted to gain more likes through social media, ultimately it only made me feel worse, I became more self-aware of what people thought of me and I was afraid to be something they did not like. 

An underlying problem to this addiction we fail to recognize is that our phones, the programs of social media, and the advertisements that pop up are accomplishing exactly what they have been designed to do. In Dr. Cal Newport’s Ted Talk, “Quit Social Media,” he provides the analogy between social media and a slot machine. Not only are they both a mere form of entertainment, but they are both an “unsavory source of entertainment” (Newport).  He addresses the point that many of the major social media companies hire individuals called attention engineers who borrow principles from Las Vegas casino gambling among other places to try to make these products as addictive as possible. The desired use of these products is that you use it in an addictive fashion because that maximizes the profit that can be extracted from your attention and data, and we easily give them what they want. 

Social media has not always had these effects though. When Facebook was first released, it was seen to help connect and share with the people in your life with minimalistic posts and basic information about you. Since then, real-time News Feed, the ability to like posts and photos, and The Timeline emerged. Social psychologist, Anthony Burrow, analyzed the impacts that “liking” a Facebook post would have psychologically from the reliance of self-confirmation from others and whether having a greater sense of self-purpose would desensitize these effects. Burrow concluded that the number of likes someone got on Facebook positively correlated to an individual’s self-esteem (Burrow). Ultimately, we crave to be liked so naturally we strive to reach those high standards in order to boost our own self-esteem. We become obsessed with the need to be liked at the risk of losing ourselves. 

It is not uncommon today to see young girls going to the extremes to reach beauty standards, and it creates an unhealthy mentality. More apps have been developed to make it easier to edit and Photoshop your own photos. In order to feel prettier or get more likes, it becomes habit to edit your photos before ever posting them. You may not be able to choose the way you look when you leave your house, but you can choose the way you look on social media. Rachel Simmons, a leadership specialist, describes social media as a toxic mirror and part of the reason is that these apps create an illusion of control by being able to cover up pimples, whiten teeth, and airbrush yourself to become prettier, thinner, and hotter(Simmons). In an unfortunate circumstance, it has become almost necessary to change how we look to feel better about ourselves and to fit other people’s standards. These social media platforms have created an outlook to earn approval through our looks and blurs the lines between self-worth and self-image. Self-worth is so much more than what you look like, but because of self-objectification it becomes harder to find it any other way. 

Similar to Facebook, Instagram went through common changes that had effects on its social impact. Dr. Sarah Gervais, a psychologist in women’s studies, describes the positive outlook that Instagram can promote for body image rather than viewing it as an oppressive source. She defines the psychology of self-objectification, where women view themselves from others’ perspective and focus only on the negative points, establishing a sense of anxiety and shame. While self-objectification can lead to eating disorders, depression, and sexual dysfunction, Gervais views Instagram as a medium of resistance to the barrage of advertisements that reflect “ideal beauty” and the “perfect body.” Gervais claims that Instagram allows a source of images of “real people” accepting imperfections and diversity that deflect flawless images shown through media and advertisements. However, contradictory to her viewpoints, Instagram is no longer a place where scrolling through the feed shows images of “real people.” Now, ads continue to barrage personal accounts and people are more prone to edit personal photos and even Photoshop themselves, to gain more likes or self-confirmation, which lacks the promotion of positive body image. 

What most people do not realize is that media run on our reactions. The same way we are seeking self-confirmation through likes or retweets, media is wanting the same response from us. And the more time we spend on media, the more influence it will have on us. This concept is called cultivation theory, which means the more time we spend on media the more susceptible to media messages and the more real and valid they will seem for us (Gerbner). Although this idea first arose with television we can still see its presence to how we respond to social media. On average people spend around two hours a day on social media, and according to Social Media Today, the total time spent on social media beats time spent eating and drinking, socializing, and grooming. So, when most of what we do is scrolling on social media, what we spend the most time looking at becomes more real to us. The more scenic views we see, the more enticed we are to travel. The more couples we see getting married or getting a divorce, that dictates what we see as a cultural norm. In the same way, the more photoshopped women we see, the more that becomes a beauty standard. 

In the time we spend on social media in a lifetime we could rather, walk the great wall of china 3.5 times, fly to the moon and back 32 times, or run 10,000 marathons. Not only is social media consuming 5 years and 4 months of our lives, but it’s also not doing anything good for us. In the Clarissa Silva’s Huffington Post, “Social Media’s Impact on Self-Esteem,” the statistical data from their studies show over 60% of people using social media reported that it has impacted their self-esteem in a negative way, 50% reported social media having negative effects on their relationships, and 80% reported that it is easier to be deceived by others through their sharing on social media. Not only is this deceit coming from images of models and celebrities in advertisements, magazines and billboards, but it’s coming from the supposedly “real life” photos we find scrolling through Instagram or Facebook. Reality is being lost in standards that we know are unrealistic, but we continually strive to meet and achieve those looks. If we feel offended of the photo shopped women that are seen in advertisements today, but then feel the need to photoshop ourselves before we post it, then we are no better, and society’s standards will not change. 

 Beauty standards continue to set a struggle towards self-acceptance as social media has become linked to sex appeal, power, wealth and happiness. The book, Face Value: The Hidden Ways Beauty Shape’s Women’s Lives, interjects that beauty is not just the constant strive to be exceptional, or to be someone or something that you are not. Beauty is more than just skin deep, and the most peace can be found not when the feeling of being beautiful is the most obvious, but when beauty was the farthest thing from mind. It is important to separate your worth from how you look, but today that gets lost by gaining likes on a picture based on appearance. Whether it is liking a post on Instagram or scrolling through Pinterest there is an underlying factor of judgement and comparison that is becoming more prevalent and more critical every day. People today get lost in the ranks of how many “likes” they get and forget not only that they have so much more to offer than their face value, but also that there is a whole world outside of social media. 

Now imagine all social media accounts suddenly were erased. Instead of getting the frantic feeling that you may be cut off from the world, realize that instead you become free from the pressure of having a perfect look or aesthetic and can join the world as you are. You can learn to be you for you and not to gain approval from others. There is no need for picture perfect, to suck in your gut or stand at your skinniest angle, or to not be able to leave your house without makeup on. Your self-worth is no longer based on how many likes you get. In reality however, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and all the other social media platforms will still be here tomorrow. Instead of focusing on self-confirmation, self-objectification, or self-deprecation through comparing yourself by how many likes you get, focus on self-worth and self-love. Life is more than just a picture and more than just a number to your name so we must learn to exist beyond the realms of media today. 
