
             Divorce is something that is becoming more and more common amongst families within the United States every year. It is an unfortunate fact about the population today. Nowadays, family life is starting to turn away from what everyone has become accustomed to over the years. More and more married partners are not feeling the same connection to each other that they once felt. Divorce is becoming more and more apparent with every day, week, month, and even years that we let keep on passing by without attempting to make a serious effort for change. However, there is one factor that consistently seems to be forgotten when adults are considering getting a divorce. That is, how this major change will affect their children within their family. Obviously, this only applies to the families which have children prior to the decision to split apart. This is a decision that will change the lives of everyone in the family in different ways. For the parents, it's the loss of a partner, almost like a break  --  up. But for the kids, it is much more severe. They are witnessing their family falling apart. They watch as their parents lose their connection and separate. There is not much that a kid can do to stop it either, they just have to watch one of their parents that they grew up with their whole life thus far, pack up their things and leave the house. This topic is important to me because of my personal background.

             I come from a family where my parents separated when I was about 7 or 8 years old. At the time, I did not understand the gravity of this situation. I did not realize the severity of what was happening and just how much my future was about to be changed. It was not until years later that I grasped the full understanding of what parents getting a divorce truly meant. I personally do feel as though the decision made by my parents to get a divorce did absolutely effect the way in which I was brought up and the man I am today. As we pursue the research on divorce and its effects on the children, my argument is that divorce has a negative lasting impact on the children, as well as the family.

Upon the research of how dealing with divorce effects a child's future success, some surprisingly negative statistics and facts were discovered. It is an unfortunate fact nowadays that in The United States 50% of marriages end in a divorce. This is an extremely shocking statistic to think that half of marriages nowadays end with a separation. And that isn't the only one; there are lists of proven statistics that show just how the kids of families that go through a divorce are effected negatively. It is beyond unfair to the children within the families to have to deal with something so traumatizing when there is little to nothing that they can actually do about the situation. It is also a fact that children that go through the divorce of their parents are more prone to having some sort of mental state problem, such as anxiety or depression. Children are also more likely to act out in tense situations and it is also very common for children to suffer academically as well.  School is the backbone of what makes or breaks a students' future in society. If a student does not do well, then his outlook for jobs and going to college will be slim. But if a student does do well, then it is much easier for them to get into a university or obtain a career. 50% of marriages end in a divorce, and of those one in ten of those kids will experience three or more parental marriage breakups in their lives. This is even more traumatizing to the kids in this kind of situation. They could have thought that this was about to be their new family wand everything was going to be whole again, just to have it snatched from their fingers again. 

Adolescents are also effected emotionally as well. Teens that come from broken families are three times more likely to need some sort of psychological help at some point in their lives. Kids that come from families who have divorced have more psychological problems than families in which one of the parents has died. Juveniles from divorced families are two times more likely to develop health problems than kids from families in which the parents are still together. A majority, 70%, of inmates in prisons across the country come from single  --  parent homes (Bilotta). Aggression is also something that is intensified from children coming from broken homes. They tend to be more hostile and aggressive towards others. It is also an unfortunate fact that adolescents that deal with this are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide at some point in their lives (Bloem). 

Divorce also increases the risks for the kids involved. The risks are heightened for an adolescent to have some sort of behavioral and/or psychological problems. There are a plethora of different statistics and facts that prove that divorce does in fact effect a child's success negatively (Bilotta). These aren't the only ways that divorce can effect a family negatively. It impacts future relationships with extended family (Jacobs). For example, some kids may never be able to see some of their cousins or even one pair of their grandparents depending on the nature of the divorce that their parents had. It is also a very unfortunate fact that children subject to divorce are always more likely to get involved into some sort of substance abuse, whether it be alcohol or drugs (Jacobs). Kids are also more common to have to repeat a grade or even drop out of high school depending on the age of the kids at the time of the divorce. The younger the child is, the better. This may seem backwards, but the reasoning behind this is that while you are still young you are still developing mentally. It is easier for one to change the way that they think at age 7 than at age 17, for example. The lesser that the children within the actual family understands the situation, the better. But with that being said, that doesn't mean that divorce is correct decision to make in every young children's life whose parents do not get along. 

According to the video Voice of the Child of Divorce, it is apparent that parents often fail to realize the severity of the situation that they are putting their kids in. This video is an actual written letter from the son within a family in which the parents were getting a divorce. The little boy goes on to explain how he feels about the whole situation and how it effects him. He gives many specific examples of just how he is effected. He explains that he is just as much of a member of the family as his parents are, and that they send him mixed messages about the truth about their relationships: "You are teaching me that I came from a person who is un-lovable and wrong. And that I am somehow wrong too." (Child of Divorce). He calls out his own parents on their wrongdoings and malpractice on raising a child while going through a divorce; which is starting to become an unfortunate common occurrence in countless families across the country. It is becoming more and more apparent every day that parents do not think about what this major decision is going to effect. Getting a divorce has the domino effect on their own lives, as well as their children's. Once one part of their lives become effected, it is like a cancer, and spreads to other aspects of life. For example, if one went through the divorce of his parents, he might feel isolated and alone. Thus causing him to stay sheltered and secluded from others, which in turn effects his social skills. This person would also lack basic common sense of the world around them, since they had been watching life pass them by like a fly on the wall.

             As expected, there is a different viewpoint to the topic of how divorce will affect the children within the family. Sometimes, divorce does make sense for the family. Sometimes families believe that this is the only solution to the major problem in their life, and that if they get a divorce, all the troubles and hardships will come to an end. Some people believe that divorce actually has a positive lasting impact on the children within the families. One way that this opinion arose was the thought that this is an end to all the fighting. When a family is going through a tough time like divorce, there is inevitably going to be some fights that arise for various reasons. Whether it be something actually serious or something that could be taken as no big deal being taken to heart. While this opinion can be true, "That if the family splits and the parents separate, there will be no one for the other parent to argue with" (Richards). Even though this is true, this is not how the children within a family want their problems to be solved. In the eyes of nearly any adolescent, they want to grow up looking up to two parental figures in their lives that get along well, and actually love each other. They want to live under one roof with their families and live happy lives together. They want to grow up without the fights and troubles that their parent's decisions brought onto them. But most children would prefer to live with both of their parents and deal with these hardships that they brought on them rather than grow up with just one of them. Often children are too young to even understand the arguments at hand or the severity of these situations. They simply don't understand why it was handled in the manner that it was. Also sometimes for some families, living in the same house under the same roof just doesn't work for a number of reasons (Richards). Whether it is work schedules or argumentative atmospheres, there are many reasons this can happen. But just like anything can have a problem, every problem also has a solution. People often jump to the divorce card and later regret their decision. This is not a decision that can be made, and then later realize that a mistake was made and try and fix the situation. Once a divorce happens it is done, and it is extremely hard for parents to try and fix the problems that they once had after being apart from each other for so long. Which is why it is so uncommon for parents to successfully get back together once getting a divorce. Its hard to look past the problems of the past in that sense because of the severity of the problems. These were obviously issues that were big enough to make the parental figures want out. Children often don't realize this. They often think of divorce as one of those problems that can be just fixed like that. They believe that this is only a temporary thing, and that their parents will get over these issues and be able to grow close together again. It is hard for juveniles to grasp the concept of forever, and once their parents go through a divorce, they are more than likely not going to get back together at any point in the future. 

             Stress is added to all parties that are involved in a divorce. This is no surprise. The parents and the children involved are all experiencing some sort of stress from the situation. The monetary factors, the arguments at hand, situation, or specific instances of the problem are some of the main causes of stress for one of the parents going through a divorce. These stressors can ultimately be the main reasons for the actual divorce. The adults within the family simply want to end their arguments and troubled times that they are going through. The quickest way to do this would be by cutting the other half of the argument out of the equation. The other half of the argument would be the other party involved, so the other parent. This is the quickest and easiest way to solve their problems. Adults often are so stressed and upset about things like this, and fail to account for the possibilities of the lasting effects of this decision onto their kids. They often don't even think about what could possibly come from this major life  --  changing decision that they are making. This one event could alter their children's lives forever. Most kids do not want their parents to go through a divorce. And the kids in these families feel a different kind of stress. They feel the stress of being helpless and cornered, and having nothing that they can do about the situation. It is extremely hard for a kid to fathom the fact that all of these changes are happening around them, and there is little to absolutely nothing that they can do about it. They have no control of any aspect of it, whatsoever. Imagine being in the position where you are potentially watching your entire life crumble around you from inside a glass box which you cannot escape. Everything that these children have known their whole lives is going to be changed. They wont be able to come home to family dinners and talk about everyone's day, both parents might not be able to be present for some major life events, like graduating or sporting events, or even one parent becoming completely absent from their child's life. No matter what you say, do, think, feel, none of that matters. It is completely out of the hands of these children. They are sitting ducks in a pond with a whirlpool in the middle. They are stuck in the middle of a downward spiral of their parents relationship into a tornado of anxiousness, thoughts, stress, and every other emotion you can imagine.

             Overall, it is clear that dealing with divorce affects the children and the family in a multitude of ways. There are numerous facts, statistics, and truths about what really happens to those helpless adolescents when a decision like this is made in their lives. They are effected physically, mentally, psychologically, and behaviorally in many different ways, a majority of which are negative. Divorce is an unfortunate rising trend in the United States and it is apparent that parents fail to realize the lasting effects of this decision upon their own children. There are a multitude of different ways in which children are negatively effected and it has become apparent that divorce has an absolute negative effect on the future success of the children within these families. So in turn, yes, we should pursue the research on the topic of divorce and the effects it has on the children in the families success. It is now clear that there are in fact negative lasting effects on the children as well as the entire family.

