""Be a man, "suck it up," and "don't cry" are only a few of the phrases handpicked from a plentiful basket of ego-damaging constructions built in today's society." (Olson). Rules and standards are set up for the man, to try to bring conformity to society and make men adhere to society's image of a perfect man. The image of a perfect man being straight, white, built, not too emotional, etc., but who is to say whether one is truly masculine or not?  "Every day at least three boys commit suicide in the U.S., according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Males dominate suicide statistics and it is no coincidence they are the gender more likely to suppress emotions. They resort to violence or extreme behaviors, desperate to express themselves, yet unable to fit the stereotype of what it means to be a "real man." (Olson). It's sad to think that all of this unnecessary and awful things could be controlled by the actions of society. This idea that every man should walk, talk, dress, look, and be a certain way is the problem with society today, and has many impacts on not only the individual lives of men but also society as a whole. Gender norms has made a hierarchal system for men that also affects women in the long run and puts us in a never-ending cycle of basing everything off gender. By looking at everyday social environments (e.g. sports, court case, and doctor visits), the psychology of men in society, and the past everyday experiences of men we can see that masculinity is an institution set up by society that ostracizes those who deviate from the path; which is applicable because this patriarchy affects society as a whole holding men to an impossible standard.  

Many of these society stereotypes though are not found or noticed in people until a certain age is reached. A channel on YouTube called "She Knows" explores field such as sewing, cooking, DIY projects, and other social/cultural aspects. It is mostly geared toward women and empowers women to explore and pursue their passions. Although, they also talk about topics that may not be the best viewed and controversial. In this video they do a workshop where little kids talk about male gender stereotypes; using this video, we can see how children react to and think about gender norms.  The kids evaluate images like men's fitness magazines, truck commercials, and an ad for Docker's insinuating that men "wear the pants." The children react to this by confirming what society says about men and how these ads portray what it means to be a tough masculine man to society. They state in the video that "76% of men have used these phrases: "man up," "you run like a girl," and "be a man." The boys, maybe age 9-12, state some gender stereotypes they see in life like, "men work hard, they do all the sports..." (SheKnows). The video continues to say how, "91% of people believe that gender stereotypes are harmful, and 76% believe these assumptions are false." (SheKnows). There is a boy that comes on the screen and starts to talk about his interests. His interests and hobbies consist of drawing, birds, and flowers. The girls then come on the screen and discuss how it's very stereotypical that only girls can wear pink. To finish out the video the boys come back on and discuss the things they all like and how they're different from the stereotype. They talk about how some of them like crafting, dancing, and playing with toys made for both sexes, and how that's okay because they are who they are. (SheKnows). This video really speaks volumes and should be shown and talked about with not just kids but with everyone. Every child is different and they are who they are. They need to know the differences of gender I think yes, but only to know the facts then they'll be able to know where they stand and how they feel about their gender. I think one major problem is that children don't see the differences. They're taught the differences and what to think over the years. 

The next video shows very well how a little time can make big changes in society today. The video is called "Little Game," and is a music video that shows visually a story of the effects of gender norms between girls and guys and uses teenagers to show these issues. The lyrics sort of narrate the story of the societal views on gender and how it is a "little game." "Play us all like pawns and relentlessly confine, Into living up to gender roles and having absent minds," are they lyrics that start off the song. These lyrics do a good job of showing the discrepsines of society using the medium of music. The video shows a group of guys dressed in blue in a weight room setting and a group of girls dressed in pink with make-up and mirrors. This video really demonstrates the social confines of society that isolates guys and girls by making them, not only wear their gender assigned colors, but also that they all act like robots. Almost like society has reprogramed them. When the music begins to play the characters start to act out like robots their assigned characteristics due to their gender. The girls start to put on make-up and the guys are in the weight room with sports equipment. One of the three boys who has blue toys in front of him (e.g. GI JOE, cars, army stuff) starts to grab for a pink Barbie doll. The chorus then comes in to highlight this moment and says, "Hush boy, oh hush boy, don't say a word, Throw on a jersey and don't say a word, Hush girl, oh hush girl, just bat your eyes, Play our little game, play our little game." (BENNY). Even these first few clips of this video show the "game" men are expected to play in society today. Looking at just the boy's scenes it shows that boys have to look manly with the color blue and have to be either athletic or associate with only "manly" stuff. This video shows a good transition of how children go from free-thinkers to acting the way society wants them to, and making sure everyone conforms to these ideas as well. This is the "high standard" that men are held to by society. In this video obviously this standard is not met and these children were turned out ostracized by their peers. 

There are many different theories to what society says exactly this high standard is. A Doctor of Psychology is the author of a website that is dedicated to the psychology of men and he breaks down the rules and code men have to follow to be accepted by society. This is very important because there are many underlying reasons why men act the way they do and why society tells them they should act a certain way.  There are basically three themes that make up male gender roles; strength, honor, and action. Strength is maintained by being emotionally tough, courageous, self-reliant, and rational. Honor refers to a man's duty, loyalty, responsibility, and integrity. Action is characterized by competiveness, ambition, and risk-taking. These three represent a level that portrays a positive and balanced man in society. The other two levels are hyper masculinity and hypo masculinity. Hyper masculinity is broken down when there is weakness (emotionally), ambivalence (irresponsibility), and inactivity (submissiveness). Hypo masculinity can be broken down as coldness (relational cutoff), sociopathy (arrogance), and hostility (violence). (Meek).  These all play a part of how the man is viewed as the protector and provider since the dawn of time. These views, that majority of society agrees with, set a strict and narrow pathway for the everyday man to walk on. Now if this pathway is not followed then the man starts to be questioned and deemed unmanly. Most people think that these rules cannot be changed because they are based on the characteristics of gender although this is not the case. These rules are just a part of an institution created a long time ago to segregate and separate the sexes. Although all this can be eradicated if we look at the person and not how their characteristics fit into a tiny box but who they are as human beings. 

It can be proven that gender norms are not based solely on the characteristics of gender by looking into the psychology of men and also into the Gender Role Strain Paradigm (GRSP). "The GRSP views gender roles as not biologically determined but rather as psychologically and socially constructed entities that bring certain advantages and disadvantages, and, most importantly can change. This perspective acknowledges the biological differences between men and women but argues that it is not the biological differences of sex that make masculinity and femininity. These concepts are socially constructed from biological, psychological, and social experience." (Levant). This can be good if society used this with the respect to not judge on the basis of biological sex. These concepts don't appear at birth or even in development we as children learn these characteristics and norms associated with our gender. This is why children are more open to ideas and to things that may seem, to older more socially developed people, out of their gender "pathway." This also answers my question stated early about what happens and why do children especially boys change so dramatically. The social views are learned and taught to children during development as a requirement of interacting with others in society. This keeps the cycle going and teaches the next generation the standards society has. Although even from a young age a boy can be ostracized, if they play with dolls, or don't like sports, or play dress up. This is fine to a young child because they have not seen or been taught to judge others based on these rules. 

When thinking about more of a social interactive male environment most of the world would think about sports. There is usually a certain type of culture presented in this atmosphere of sports. "In research on white, middle-class, former high-school football players, Anderson (2005b) first used the term inclusive masculinity to theoretically describe the social process concerning the emergence of an archetype of masculinity that undermines the principles of orthodox (read hegemonic) masculine values  --  yet one that is also esteemed with male peers." (Anderson). In this article it states two theories of masculinity, "orthodox masculinity" which includes extreme homophobia and misogyny, and, "inclusive masculinity" which does not include these two ideals. It is thought that a form of multiple masculinities come together when in an organization, institution, or culture. (Anderson). Sports usually can be associated with men and most of the time men who think they're better than everyone else. The idea that within a team there is a more diverse ideology of masculinity is surprising. It is interesting that when in a organization or team or atmosphere with other men some stereotypes can be changed or altered. This is fascinating and really puts into perspective why most sports teams or organizations are so close; because, they create their own culture to live in and be a part of. Another social that affects many people of today is adolescent intoxication and marijuana use. A study shows the differences in male and female drinking habits but also in the social construction of how those habits sometimes formed: "In one of the earliest explorations of this issue, Lemli and Mishkind (1989) detailed how alcohol use is viewed as a symbol of masculinity in the United States with a boy's first drink being a rite of passage into manhood." (Mahalik). Further in this article it talks about how in a social aspect, even with friends, guys have to look big and bad and like they can take on anything. School and friends can also be a tormenting place as Dr. Senelick states, "One of my worst experiences was being forced to swim nude in high school ... .Envision 30 young boys at various stages of puberty, with a wide variety of body shapes, lining up so the coach in his well-fitting swim suit could take attendance. There was my dramatically overweight friend with his eyes staring straight at the ground and my other friend, a "late bloomer", just waiting for the inevitable insults about his manhood." (Senelick). This was said to be a way to bring together the boys or various other "reasons" in that time period. Later on in his career Dr. Senelick has noticed many things while giving routine exams, "Many men don't speak up about their desire for privacy in fear they will be mocked for not being "man enough." " (Senelick). Even though they are men this should not mean they don't have feelings or insecurities. Society tells men that being vulnerable and insecure is not masculine. This presents the idea that every boy/man is comfortable with being naked around other men. The boys who are not okay with this have to suffer and be judged by their peers. This doesn't just present the characteristics that other men can judge but a whole other jungle of physical characteristics that men can pick apart and judge about each other.  

At the University of Hawaii a law review was conducted on how men experienced being a "real man" in the eyes of the law. The article first states that "Law reflects these cultural tendencies to think of masculinity in biologically deterministic ways, and to shrug off the possibility that men are vulnerable. For years, courts regularly rejected male sex discrimination claims, and the resistance was most pronounced when men alleged the sex discrimination at the hands of other men." (Boso). It is sad to think that many of these cases where men actually felt discriminate against were just turned away because they were male and therefore supposed to be stronger than that. Now luckily law on sex discrimination has evolved although many courts don't know how to define the sex stereotypes that encapsulates men: " ... Evidence of sex stereotyping has become an accepted way of proving discriminatory intent, most courts (but not all) now accept that sex discrimination includes treating a man differently because he fails to conform to sex stereotypes." (Boso). Now here we have men who have been possibly the victims of violent crimes and potentially scarred for their life. Does that not constitute sympathy and action? People of today's time still think that it is okay to shrug it off and say well they were asking for it, or maybe they seemed gay and needed to be taught a lesson, or maybe it was just boys being boys. This is wrong and needs to stop everyone no matter sex deserves the right to be listened to, treated fairly, and with respect. Now in some courts they have started standing up to sex discrimination cases. This is good but it exclusively excludes sexual orientation discrimination charges. "Because Title VII and Title IX do not explicitly include sexual orientation as a protected trait,...Examples of insults that can turn a sex discrimination claim into a sexual orientation discrimination claim includes: calling a man "gay," "faggot," "queer," and "fruitcake"; commanding a man to "suck my dick"; and suggesting that a man likes giving "blow jobs" or having anal sex with men." (Boso). For someone to get sexually discriminated against because of their characteristics not being the way society think they should, is unacceptable and is something that needs to be changed. It can be shown that the ostracizing of men is happening by using this court case. So why is this institution of stereotypes and gender norms so powerful? This sets up the premise for crimes like this to take place and for men to keep being put down if they do not reach the standards or walk the path created for them. 

When broken down there are 5 things one writer has come up with that society expects of men in life. These 5 things are: to make money, to win, be physically strong, to fix stuff, and to get it up. By interviewing many of her friends and other men this writer was able to get some statistics and data about men and how their personal lives are affected by gender stereotypes. "A huge part of how we define manliness lies in men's bank accounts." This does not only affect the man financially this affects other gender roles as well. This can cause men to feel like they are incapable of doing anything that is of any value. (Christina). The second thing that society expects of men is for them to win. Greta spoke a friend named Kyle who told her this, ""If there is one thing to remember about being a 'man' or male culture, it's that it's hierarchal. Men live in a hierarchal world. It's all about who's the top dog, who's the best, who's the strongest, etc."" (Christina). Now it's always good to be competitive and to strive for your goals in life but it's another to say that everything someone does they have to succeed at it all the time because of their gender.  The third is to the expectation for guys to be physically strong. Now it's perfectly fine if a guy wants to take the time to bulk up and be physically strong. Although not all men want to do this and that should be okay. This is also a very ironic concept when you think about it because as she states in this article, " ... you can work out and buff yourself up to some degree. But if your natural build is small and slight, you're not going to turn into Vin Diesel no matter how hard you try." (Christina). I feel like this signifies how most men who have boundaries set in from of them, whether it be biological boundaries or any others, want to break these down. This can be a good thing and very admirable to try, but when it is expected of all men to break down these walls especially if biologically impossible to be as physically strong as society expects. The fourth is that every man should know how to fix stuff. "Men in our culture are expected to have some sort of inborn ability to fix just about any physical object that's broken." (Christina). I don't understand why this is an expectation from society. There's plenty of other things that men can do besides just being mechanically competent. Also a man might not be good at fixing stuff. I am personally awful at fixing some things I would be a terrible mechanic, but since I'm a man society tells me that I should do this to fit the requirements of being a man. The fifth but definitely not final expectation for men is to get it up. One of the men she interviewed said this, ""You have failed as a man if you do not or cannot give your partner a complete erection for at least 20 minutes before you orgasm."" (Christina). I understand that majority of society oversexualizes everyone and everything but basing the way a man can be sexually interactive with his partner should not rely on the stereotyping of a man's penis. There may be biological or psychological reasons why he cannot get it up. " ... we don't talk as much about how this assumption reduces men's pleasure, their possibilities, their entire sexual beings, to a few inches of erectile tissue in between their legs." (Christina). 

It's weird how the sting and fear of social embarrassment and possible out casting will make men do anything. This society we live in today holds men to an impossible standard that only few ever get to grovel their way up to see. For the rest of the men in the world they can pretty much guarantee to never be deemed good enough and spend their whole life trying. Unfortunately society doesn't like different or those who don't conform. These leads to a harsh life always trying to prove ones-self to fellow men. As I stated in the beginning these ideas put men in a hierarchy that affects and burdens all of society. Females have already begun to question and stand up for their rights. When is it men's time to stand up; to stop boys from takin their own lives, to stop unfair treatment, and to put an end to living a life chosen for them by society. 

