Jonathan Franzen's piece, "Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts." was adapted from a commencement speech given to Kenyon College's senior class. In his speech, Franzen begins talking about the allure of new technologies. He starts off his speech by informing the audience that he has upgraded to a new BlackBerry Pearl from the older BlackBerry version. He does this for later reference, but he relates that to our obsession with technology and the applications that come with it help mask our dissatisfaction and the fear in our lives, as well as within ourselves. Franzen uses the function of technology in our lives to announce that there is more to life and we should keep pushing "for more" in everything we do. This meaning, we should not settle for things when we can strive to get the best experience. The importance of this speech for the graduating class inspires them and everybody else in the room that settling is the minimum of human capabilities, not only for work but in relationships as well. Franzen achieves this by effectively using Ethos and Pathos throughout his speech to help the argument. 

Franzen first pulls from both Ethos and Pathos in the beginning statements of the commencement speech. He tells the audience a story of getting a new phone, and like everybody else living in first world countries in the 21st century, he was amazed with the new features and simply says that he was "infatuated with [his] new device," just as he once was with his old one (Franzen 512).  By giving out this story he is showing that he is relatable, therefore making his audience comfortable with him and making him seem trustworthy. He delves deeper into his relationship with his devices. He describes breaking up with his old BlackBerry as if it had a real personality  --  like he was breaking things off with a real person. Franzen says that his relationship with his old BlackBerry was "entirely one-sided" (512). Which is completely true, it just had not been thoroughly stated before. At this point, the audience is really keying in on what Franzen is going to continue with next. Not only is he proving that they can relax around him, but he is also revealing something so true that people had not thought about the validity of it until he said it aloud. The inclusion of his personal story appeals to both Ethos and Pathos. 

Next in the speech, Franzen discusses our consumeristic society. He says the technology industry has mastered the art of creating products to meet our demands, even when we have not discovered what our demands are yet. He says we yearn for the kind of devices that "asks for nothing and gives everything and makes us feel powerful," (Franzen 512) because these kinds of relationships are the kinds that we want in our own lives. With this realization from Franzen, he reveals something that is relatable by majority of Americans, therefore again establishing trust. He continues on the topic of technology by claiming that the goal of it all is to create an extension of ourselves. He also says that with that extension, we use our technology to reflect how we want ourselves to be viewed by others (Franzen 513). Franzen uses pathos to settle the audience so that they can reflect on their own actions. It is common for people to use social media and lie about their lives or their looks. This shows the emotional connection that people have with the internet; with that it allows them to do things they think they cannot do in real life. Franzen gives continuous examples to help explain his ideas such as the idea of 'liking' pages on Facebook. The issue with liking things is that it is a ploy by consumer products. The businesses, the gadgets, and the social media pages themselves all metaphorically desire to be likeable and they achieve that in their designs (513). Online businesses and entertainment activities are designed to be attractive. So, if these pages were people, they would be the person in the room that boasts about themselves yet has an extremely low self-esteem. Franzen translates this idea to a person trying deeply to be liked by the masses and this is emphasized by the use of Pathos. With that comparison, it instantly brings up human connection and makes the audience question wonder if their own internet actions are like that. The comparison of the internet pages to a person begging for attention and approval paints the picture of self-worth. He places the question of, "do we see ourselves better on the internet or in the mirror?" into our heads. However, Franzen says the technology products cannot have narcissistic tendencies because they are simply not human, but they are "great allies and enablers of narcissism" (513). Simply stated, it is in our nature to crave approval and attention. That is why we use social media and take 'selfies'everywhere we go, and why the likes and the filters keep us content. Franzen says it best with, "we like the mirror and the mirror likes us" (513). This means that we like how we are portraying ourselves on social media, and metaphorically in return, it likes that we are indulging ourselves into that entity. The main claim of his argument is that we are comfortable with idea of liking and the use of consumer technologies blatantly expose that about ourselves. Franzen reiterates his argument to emphasize how strongly he wants the audience to listen and adhere to his advice. 

Franzen reveals that the problem with liking and trying to be likeable is that it is not achievable in real life relationships. Liking is safe and easy, but to expose real compassion, a person must love. Now that trust had been established within the audience, Franzen appeals to Ethos again by showing the audience that he wants the graduating class to go out in the world and start loving  --  because liking is for the weak. Franzen says that you cannot like something or someone to their core, however you can love every piece of something or someone and that is why the "world of liking is ultimately a lie" (514). Franzen is not trying to discredit the use of the techno-consumer society, but instead, show that obsessing over the materials keep a person from forming strong relationships, as well as keep the natural feelings of being alive from arising to the surface  --  these feelings such as pain, anger and despair. Franzen says that these feelings are "what makes it so tempting to avoid love and stay safely in the world of liking" (514). Generally, when people find themselves in relationships they experience feelings like the ones mentioned above often times. He pulls from Pathos to help his discussion on emotions. With this claim, we can all agree that we do not like nor love feeling pained, or angry. 

Franzen's final part of the speech is another personal story where he concludes that instead of just walking the planet as a consumer  --  falling to the liking and disliking, that it is best to force yourself to go out and interact with people (515) it is better to make human connections, and maybe even love those people, risking both rejection and pain. Franzen gathers that "to go through a life painlessly is to have not lived," (514) then he questions what the outcomes could even possibly be once they step out of the comfort zone. With those closing remarks, the appeal to Pathos and Ethos is effectively used. He constantly connected to these appeals by having the audience and graduates students best interest at heart and this also reveals that Jonathan Franzen is a trustworthy, inspirational speaker. He proved that he was not trying to denounce technologies, but simply tell the graduating class not be afraid to be more than just a person who likes. He proved that he wanted more for them, thus inspiring them to be more than just people who like, but love. 

