Robert Hayden's "Those Winter Sundays" and Lucille Clifton's "Forgiving my Father" both portray a father to child relationship. However, the two relationships are very different. In "Those Winter Sundays", a son is looking back on his childhood and the sacrifices his father has made for him and his family. He realizes that he should have been more appreciative of him and wishes he still had the opportunity to thank him. In "Forgiving my Father", a daughter reflects on her childhood, just like the speaker in "Those Winter Sundays". However, unlike the son in first poem, she didn't have much good to say about her Father. Even so, she did mention that the father had an excuse and could understand why her father did what he did. Even though both stories portray a child who has grown up and is looking back at their father's actions, their reaction to the memories of their fathers are very different and this has to do with how they perceived their father, what their father did to wrong them, and their ability to forgive through sympathizing.

In "Forgiving My Father" a daughter, whose parents both seem to be be deceased, is recollecting back on the dreams she has been having about her parents arguing over money. "all week you have stood in my dreams, like a ghost, asking for more time" (3-4) These dreams are haunting her, implying that her parents might have been emotionally abusive. Then She goes on to call her Father an "old Liar" (10), thus revealing that she was on her mother's side whenever they argued and didn't trust her father.(Sarah) On the Other hand, the boy in "Those Winter Sundays" didn't so much as not trust his Father as he did just not understand him. He didn't realize when he was a kid that the way in which his Father showed love for him was by making sure all his needs were taken care of. His father even went out of his way on Sundays, his one day off, to get out of bed in winter in the freezing cold to make sure his family had heat. And the son, realizing that his Father loved him greatly, wishes he could go back to when he was a kid and appreciate all his Father did for him. "What did I know, what did I know, of love's austere and lonely offices?"(13-14) In "Forgiving My Father", the speaker talks about her Father in a disappointed and almost angry tone. She feels as though her Father had wronged her. Which she very might as well be correct in blaming it all on the father, however she does say that "you gave her all you had, which was nothing. you have already given her, all you had." (14-15) These two lines suggest that even though the father had nothing to give to his family, he wasn't holding anything back. He was just unable to get enough money. I almost pity the Father in this story. He is living in poverty. He is probably working insane amounts of hours in a crowded factory somewhere, and yet when he gets home, he has nothing to give to his family. This kind of lifestyle could make anyone upset, especially if you loved and wanted to take care of your family. So unless the father has been spending all his money on himself, which is a possibility, I feel as though all this blame that has been placed on the father might misguided. But his daughter only ends up forgiving her father because she felt it pointless to continue to hold a grudge. The speaker in "Those Winter Sundays" not only forgives his Father, but also regrets that he is not able to ask for his Father's forgiveness. He is not angry as his father. On the contrary, he is saddened by the fact that he never appreciated all the hard work that his Father did for him. The difference between the two works is the emotion that the speaker is feeling toward their father. On the one hand, you have a son who is sad because he is unable to forgive his father, and on the other hand you have a daughter who still holds a grudge, but forgives her father out of convenience. 

In both stories, the father did something wrong, but what they did wrong was different and had dissimilar effects on how their children viewed them in hindsight. In "Those Winter Sundays" the father, although he loved his children, was bad at expressing that love. He expressed his love by working hard to take care of them, because that was the only way he knew how to do it. He went to work every week to put a roof over their heads, made sure they had enough to eat, and so that they could afford firewood that they wouldn't freeze to death. However, none of the children realized how much their father loved them when they were young, because they didn't know the full extent of what their father had to sacrifice daily in order to make sure his children not only had everything they needed but could also live comfortably. The children were scared of "the chronic angers of that house."(9) When I think of "Chronic Angers" of a house, I imagine that the parents were very strict and were not afraid to use disciplinary action. Which is another form of love that usually goes unnoticed until you're an adult. As a child, discipline, doesn't seem like a form of love. It isn't until we are older that we realize the true intensions behind discipline. What the Father did wrong was that he never became personal with his children. He was there to discipline and provide them with necessities but that was it. I believe it is a father's duty, to be there emotionally for their children emotionally as well as physically.  In "Forgiving My Father", the father was both unable to provide for his family and was emotionally abusive. His daughter is still haunted by the memories of her father and mother fighting over finances. One could make the argument that her father should have worked harder, but we don't have any context. As far as we know he could just not able to hold a job and was unemployed most of the time. But that's just making a rash assumption. The reason why, the father is unable to provide for his family is unknown. But based on the fact that his daughter, was on his mothers' side, we can assume that the excuses he was gave weren't very good. The only excuse that his daughter gave for her father of why he was like that, was because that's the way he grew up. No one ever gives the father the benefit of the doubt, or is on his side. The only reason his daughter forgave him was because, she thought it was pointless to hold a grudge. 

The speaker in "Those Winter Sundays" was more sympathetic, than the speaker in "Forgiving my Father" and felt bad for how he treated his father rather than the other way around. The speaker in "Forgiving my Father" sympathized a little with her father, saying that he was like the way he was, because he grew up that way. "but you were the only son of a needy father,/ the father of a needy son."(12-13) However, that's not the reason she forgave him. If felt as if she thought that wasn't a good enough excuse. She only forgave him because it was convenient. The speaker in "Those Winter Sundays" Sympathizes with his father in a different way. I could tell he felt bad for not appreciating how hard his father worked to provide for him by how he described the work. He describes it in such a way that lets the reader know, that he went through a lot in order to provide for his children, because he loved them. And then he goes on to say that he spoke " ... indifferently to him" because he was young and not yet able to fully appreciate all that his father was doing for him. He also sympathized him in the fact that since, he was not appreciate him as a child, the love that he showed his children was not awarded. "What did I know, what did I know/of love's austere and lonely offices?"(13-14) The Father was loved, his children, and got nothing in return, and that is why the speaker wishes he could ask for his father's forgiveness and thank his father. 

Each of these poems portray a different emotional response shown through their respective speakers reminiscing on past memories of their fathers. Their reactions are completely different, although both of their fathers wronged them in some way. In "Those winter Sundays", the speaker realized he was at fault and wished he could thank his father and in "Forgiving my Father", the reader, blames her father for everything, but forgives him out, because it would be useless to hold a grudge. Their reaction to the memories of their fathers are very different and this has to do with how they perceived their father, what their father did, and how their perception as an adult has changed from when they were a kid.  

