Robert Hayden’s “Those Winter Sundays” and Lucille Clifton’s “forgiving my father” are both poems that describe conflicts that occur between parents and their children. Both poems focus specifically on the relationship between a father and a daughter. Although both pieces have the same type of plot, they use different elements and writing styles to get their message across. “Those Winter Sundays” tells the story of a young child who did not understand the love that their father had for them. However, the poem is told from a perspective in which the narrator is an adult. They now understand and respect the hard-work and struggles that the father went through to provide for them. “forgiving my father” tells the story of a daughter who is angry at her father for not fulfilling his financial responsibilities. Both of her parents are now dead, and she is left with nothing but the mess that her divorced parents left behind. Both poems have similar endings in which the narrator comes to terms with their father, but the difference is in the details. “Those Winter Sundays” uses temperature as a symbol of the relationship and has a plot that is easy for a lot of readers to connect to, while “forgiving my father” uses money as a symbol of the relationship but also has a plot that many readers can connect to. Lastly, in “Those Winter Sundays”, the ignorance and indifference of the child toward father becomes regret and gratefulness, while “forgiving my father”, the anger and bitterness becomes forgiveness and acceptance.

In “Those Winter Sundays”, it is obvious that temperature is a theme of the poem. Cold is first mentioned in the second line, “and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold” (Line 2). Warmth is first mentioned shortly after, “banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him” (5). The coldness represents the attitude that the narrator had toward their father when they were young. The narrator was always “speaking indifferently to him / who had driven out the cold” (10). There is irony in the child being cold towards their father who did nothing but drive the cold out. Eventually, the house grew warm because of the father’s labor. This symbolizes how the narrator’s attitude eventually became warm and they were grateful for everything that the father did. In “forgiving my father”, money appears to be the main theme. Money is first mentioned in the second line, “to the paying of the bills” (Line 2). The narrator feels as if her father never gave the mother enough money to support them, as a typical father figure does. Although both parents have passed away, the narrator seems to still be on the mother’s side, saying “my mother’s hand opens in her early grave / and I hold it out like a good daughter” (6-7). The idea of never having enough money to support them could symbolize that the father was never a good husband or father to the family.

The change in attitude of the narrator in “Those Winter Sundays” occurs when the child grows up and becomes more mature. The naïve nature of a child blinds the narrator from realizing that the father’s physical labor and sacrifice shows how much he loves his child. It is possible that the narrator felt as if the father did not love them because the love was not shown in ways that were obvious. However, as the child grew into an adult, they finally realized that not all love comes in the form of hugs and kisses. The line “Sundays too my father got up early” shows that the father sacrificed so that the child could live comfortably (1). “When the rooms were warm, he’d call” shows that the father made sure that the house was always warm, which was his way of showing love (7). The father drives out the cold and “polished my good shoes as well” (12). These are things that take the narrator a little while to notice as acts of love. The narrator admits, “What did I know, what did I know / of love’s austere and lonely offices?” (13-14). This is the adult perspective admitting that they did not understand the sacrifices that the father made to care for them. The change in attitude of the narrator in “forgiving my father” occurs towards the end of the poem when the author writes, “but you were the only song of a needy father, / the father of a needy son” (12-13). The daughter understands that the father wasn’t the only one to blame for the family’s problems, because he didn’t have the best father figure either. Also, she writes, “you gave her all you had / which was nothing. you have already given her / all you had” (14-16). This is the final three lines and allows the daughter to express that she understands that her father tried his best, and she could not be angry forever. Forgiving her father would finally allow her mind and heart to be at ease.

The style of the two poems is very similar. They are both about family problems that many people face in the world. This allows the reader to easily connect to the words and understand the themes. However, looking beyond the surface reveals that the poems are also quite different. “Those Winter Sundays” makes use of descriptive words and imagery to portray the relationship between the father and daughter, while “forgiving my father” is more direct and uses negative words to describe the father, which show that the daughter is hostile towards him. The gender of the narrator in Hayden’s poem is unknown, which allows the reader to easily put themselves in the shoes of the character. “forgiving my father” is told from the perspective of a daughter, but that does not necessarily mean that it is more difficult to relate to. Lastly, the way that the characters come to terms with their fathers is different. The child in “Those Winter Sundays” eventually grows up and acquires a clear understanding of what the father did to express his love. The narrator regrets not seeing this at a young age because they were indifferent towards their father. On the other hand, the daughter decides that being angry at her father who is passed away has no benefit. She also starts to see that not all the blame could be places on him because he had a tough childhood. Although she is angry at the way he treated her mother, she eventually decides to forgive him and move on with her life. 
