A man is supposed to provide for his family. He’s the head of the house hold, the captain of the ship. In the poem Forgiving My Father, the speaker is the daughter of a deadbeat father. This poem is not just about money; it is also about not having a relationship with her father. He does not provide for his family financially or emotionally and she wants payback. 

In the first stanza of Forgiving My Father, Clinton writes “It is Friday we have come/ To the paying of the bills” (1-2). This the first time payment is mentioned and it is being used to talk about the physical act of paying bills. Her father could never pay the bills on time. “All week you have stood in my dreams/ Like a ghost, asking for my time/ But today is payday, payday old man” (Clifton 3-5). Every time it was time for her father to pay the bills there was a problem. He wouldn’t have the money and would ask for extra time, but she was sick of him doing this. She was tired of his excuses. 

The speaker’s tone changes, she sounds angry. She says “… Today is payday, payday Old man” (Clifton 5). She calls him “Old man” instead of dad or father. This shows us the lack of respect she has for him. The fact that he doesn’t provide like he’s supposed to has a toll on their relationship as well. Repetition is being used to get her point across; emphasizing on the fact that it is payday, the bills need to be paid. She did not want hear his excuses, she just wanted him to pay. Not only was this effecting her, but her mother as well. 

He was not giving his family the financial stability that they needed, the stability that he was supposed to provide as the head of the house hold. 

In the second stanza of the poem, the speaker starts to advocate for her mother. “… I wish you were rich so I could take it all/ And give the lady what she was due” (Clifton 10-11). She wishes she could pay her mother back for all that she did. Raising children is not an easy job, but imagine having to do it all on your own. 

Unfortunately, there was no way for her to pay her mother back. “You gave her all you had/ Which was nothing. You had already given her/ All you had” (Clifton 14-16). Her father had already given her mother all he had, but he had nothing. He didn’t have anything for her. He had nothing to give and nothing to take. 

In the last stanza of the poem, the speaker realizes that she needs to move on. “What am I doing here collecting? / You lie side by side in debtor’s boxes/ And no accounting will open them up.” (Clifton 21-23). The speaker is referring to the fact that she cannot have someone dig her parents up, she cannot bring the dead back to life. She says, “You were each other’s bad bargain, not mine.” (line 19). It was not just her father’s fault; it was her mother’s as well. The man was not a good father or husband, but her mother put up with it. 

The speaker in this poem was on an emotional rollercoaster from the beginning until the end. In the beginning, she was angry about how her father was unable to provide for his family emotionally or financially. He did not give her the real father-daughter relationship that she wanted. Her mother had to do everything on her own. 

The speaker just wanted her father to pay them back. She begins to realize that it is not only her father’s fault, but her mother’s as well. Her mother allowed her father to do what he did, she excepted his dead beat behavior. 

Towards the end of the poem the speaker’s tone begins to change, she calms down. She realizes that she needs to move on, she needs to let go of the past. “But you were the only son of a needy father/ The father of a needy son” (Clifton 12-13). Her father had always been penniless. A father is only capable of giving what he has and what he knows. A good father gives all of himself that is good. It wasn’t that her father did not want to provide for his family, he did the best he could. He gave all he had, but sadly all he had was nothing. 