“Forgiving My Father,” written by Lucille Clifton, tells the story of the narrator’s relationship with her mother and father. How the poem is interpreted determines the meaning that the reader receives from it. From reading this short poem, the reader can assume that there is unresolved tension between the father and daughter. Both the father and the mother of the narrator are dead, and she expresses her struggles and emotions in the text. 

From the beginning of the poem, it is obvious that the daughter takes her dead mother’s side. She calls her father “old lecher/ old liar” (line 9-10) to describe him. The daughter is angry because the death of her parents resulted in her being in the middle of their dispute over money. She is in charge of their debt, and her father left her nothing for when it came to paying the bills. Throughout the poem the daughter continues to criticize her father, calling him “daddy old pauper old prisoner, old dead man” (line 20). Her father had no money to give, he gave his wife all he had which was nothing. The daughter believed that there was not enough time for him to repay the emotional and financial debt that he left to her. 

Besides her father leaving her financially unstable, he left her emotionally unstable too. Her father did not give her the love and affection that every daughter wants from their father. It is because of this that the daughter emotionally detached herself from her father. The reader can see this by the way she describes her father throughout the poem. Rather than leaving his daughter with good memories, he haunts her dreams, “all week you have stood in my dreams like a ghost, asking for more time” (lines 3-4). Unfortunately for her father, there is not any time left for him to make it up to his family.

The narrator says, “but you were the only son of a needy father, the father of a needy son” (lines 12-13). Her father was raised in a home much like she was, however she was not like her father. The grandfather and father took from each other, not illegally, which left them with nothing to provide their families. However, she was raised in a home that her father had made for their family, so everything was not entirely his fault. The daughter later decides to forgive her father. This shows how complex family relationships are affected by little income. The narrator expresses her desire for her father to be rich so she could take all of his money and give it to the woman that deserves it. 

For most people, Friday is the day that you look forward to when you walk into work on Monday morning. But for the narrator of this poem, Friday means that the bills are due. And when you have no money to pay for the debt of your parents, Friday is dreaded. When Friday came, the daughter turned to her dead father with the hope that her father had money to give her, “but today is payday, payday old man, my mother’s hand opens in her early grave” (lines 5-6). The word payday is repeated because it is a reoccurring theme and problem throughout the poem. Its repetition expresses the importance of payday and how their daughter is not able to pay their bills. Any Friday her father was supposed to be the pocket that opened up, however he was not able to do that.

In the end, the daughter makes the decision to forgive her father for several reasons. She believes that they “were each other’s bad bargain” (line 19) and not hers. While most of the family problems stem from her father’s wrongdoing, the problems are meant to be left between her mother and father. The daughter realizes that by dwelling on these problems she is getting nowhere in life, and that is why it’s better for her to forgive and forget. These are problems that are a result of their marriage, and the narrator fell into the wrong hands. 

This poem reflects the complexity of modern family relationships today, ranging from families in poverty to families with trust fund babies. The narrator’s father was not the father that she wanted, something quite similar to what many children face today. However, she was able to forgive him because she was ready to move on with her life. Her father’s actions had a negative impact on both her mother and herself, which led her to emotional detachment from her father. She was angry and resentful because she was put in the middle of a difficult marriage, which she initially placed the blame on her father. In the end she realized that their problems were not her problems and that she should not have to stress about them. She wanted the best for her mother because her father was not able to. 

From the beginning to end, the reader can see the transformation of the narrator’s feelings for her father. What started out as anger and hatred turned into a forgiving nature. Despite her father’s inability to pay forward what he owes, she was able to forgive him. Her mother may have not received what she deserved, but she’s dead now too and not much can be done to fix that. Her father’s father was a needy father, so in a way he’s to blame too. The narrator is a little hypocritical too. Much like her father, she’s needy. The daughter hopes for money from her father that does not exist because he was needy too. She gives them everything that she has, which is nothing. Forgiving her father is her way of becoming someone different than her mother and father and not following in their footsteps. The daughter realizes that she can’t completely blame her father, the blame has to be shared. Her financial and emotional struggles are the result of a bad relationship. As a result, she is out to no longer suffer from their mistakes.
