The world is filled with many different kinds of people, each with their own views and opinions. In Mary Oliver’s poem “The Journey”, the individual in the poem is trying to find out who they are in a sea of others. Oliver shows the contrast between what the individual wants and what others want for the individual by using the pronouns “you” and “their”. The contrast of these words highlights the difficulty that comes with walking your own path and creating yourself. By using this comparison Oliver is able to convey the message of personal growth. Once an individual is able to find out who they are, many positive things will follow. Through the contrast of the words “their” and “you”, Oliver shows the importance of relying on one’s self instead of others in order to find their individuality. 

In order to grow, a person must be willing to change. The beginning of “The Journey” reflects on what the individual had to overcome in order to find out who they are. Oliver says “the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice” (Oliver 3-5), however, “you didn’t stop” (Oliver 12). In the face of these loud opinions and opposing views, the person had to realize it was more important to keep moving forward rather than getting stuck in a crowd of others. Instead of letting what others expected of this person to get in the way of what they wanted, they simple followed their own advice. This was no easy feat for the individual but “one day [they] finally knew what [they] had to do, and began” (Oliver 1-2). Society often makes us believe that we should be like everyone else. For some, this is a safe choice. However, the individual in the poem would rather be their own person than conform to society’s high standards. Throughout the poem Oliver uses “their” to describe key influencers in the individual’s life. These people are friends, family, and society that are involved with that person. They willingly gave the main character in the poem their opinions and wanted the individual to listen to them. The strong opinions of these people weighed heavily on the individual in the poem. Their opinions would “tug” (Oliver 8) at the person, but that did not stop them from moving in a forward direction. The individual in the poem realized it was more important to “leave the voices behind” (Oliver 24) and follow their own path. 

There is no feeling more freeing than that of individuality. Finding your own voice amongst a sea of people begging you to be like them is no small feat. The second time Oliver uses “you” and “their” it is clear that the tone of the poem has switched. In the first instance the individual is still struggling to leave the opinions of others behind. They feel constrained by the people around them, and their lack of positive advice and moral support. Although the individual knew what they wanted to do, they had not yet made it to the point of creating their own path. Thankfully the individual was able to identify the situation they were in, and make a positive change. By the second time “you” and “their” were used the individual had “left their voices behind” (Oliver 24) and discovered “a new voice” (Oliver 27) of their own. So often people venture on their own but don’t make it past the “road full of fallen branches and stone” (Oliver 21-22), these branches and stones are obstacles that make your path hard to navigate.  However, the main character in the poem was able to do this.

In the face of opinionated friends and family, this individual decides to find their own way. The impact that close friends, family, and society have on an individual is large. Negative opinions and lack of encouragement can make a person vulnerable. They may be more willing to take the advice of others if they are not receiving positive validation. The encouragement and validation a person hopes for can ultimately hold them back from fully embracing who they are and what they want to accomplish. By voicing strong opinions and giving advice to the individual, loved ones aim to guide the person in the right direction. This guidance may be given out of love, but by doing this they can hold the individual back. After dealing with these opinions for so long, the individual in the poem wants to change. Listening to others and taking their advice is no longer an option for them. Oliver uses the pronoun “you” to contrast what the person in the poem wants versus what others want for that individual. By creating this comparison, the message of self reliance is shown within the individual's actions. Personal satisfaction and a strong sense of self is not able to be found when others are voicing their opinions.  

We can be hindered by others and their opinions, however in reality the only limitations we have are those we place on ourselves. In order to find out who they are, a person must shy away from others and instead walk the path of life relying only on ourselves. Mary Oliver exemplified the journey an individual walks in order to find their path in her poem “The Journey”.  She successfully shows that individuality is not always easy to find, but once it is, positive outcomes will follow. By using the pronouns “you” and “their” she highlights what an individual desires, and what others desire for that individual. Often what others want for us is not what we want for ourselves. Every one of us has the choice to listen to others, or listen to ourselves more. This poem creates a strong messages to anyone who is struggling to be their own person. The message is to walk your own path in order to “save the only life you [can] save (Oliver 36) which is your own. 
