Theodore Roethke’s poem “My Papa’s Waltz” is very clearly showing an abusive relationship between father and son. But the poem also shows a very unique view the son has of the relationship with his father. Rather than resenting his father, the child accepts the abuse as a norm in his life. With this norm the child tries to create a positive memory of his father. The boy clearly leaves out information that proves his abuse while choosing to use kinder words to describe what he wishes to remember. “My Papa’s Waltz” shows how a child creates a purified and false view of his father, by accepting the abusive relationship that he is living in, as the norm of life. 

The relationship in the poem can easily be interpreted as an abusive one. Hidden in false fabricated memory the child creates the abuse can be seen. The very first line of the poem mentions “whisky” (Roethke 90) in the father’s breath. In almost every case of abusive relationships alcohol is usually involved in some way. The poem goes on to say that his ear would become “scraped” (Roethke 91) from being with his father. At the end of the poem the boy says that his father would “beat time” (Roethke 91) on his head. One of the most defiant examples of abuse is when the poem uses the word “battered.” (Roethke 91) Battered is always associated with victims of abuse especially physical abuse. All this shows that the relationship was abusive. But the rest of the poem makes all the obvious abuse seem playful and just a simple misunderstanding. 

The way the boy tells the poem shows that he is trying to make light of the abuse and paint his father in a brighter light. In the first stanza of the poem Roethke refers to the abuse as a “waltz”. (Roethke 90) As the poem goes on to say that they “romped” (Roethke 91) around in the which caused pans to fly of the shelves. Romped means playful roughhousing. This shows how the child is just trying to make a positive memory. Instead of being attacked in the kitchen by his father, the boy says that they were merely playing around. The biggest censorship in the poem is the boy referring to the abuse as a “waltz.” (Roethke 91) By saying that the way the father throws the child around the house is merely dancing, the poem losses much of his abusive tone. This can cause the poem to potentially be interpreted as a misunderstanding, which is the boys goal. It is clear that he trying to create a positive message of his father.

The boy leaves out much in the poem. Because he is trying to create a purified version of his father, much of truth is lost. The extent of harm that was caused to the boy will never truly be known. He cuts off the conversation when it starts to become painful or the abusive tone starts to kick in. For example, the third stanza ends as soon as the mother’s “countenance” (Roethke 91) could not change. But the boy never says what emotion the mother was expressing. Changing difficult words and replacing them with light playful words also helps with altering the memories.

“My Papa’s Waltz” is truly tragic poem that shows how a boy tries to alter his memories to try and have some positive feeling towards his father. He accomplishes this by choosing the words he uses to describe how events happen. Instead of saying how father truly treated him, the boy chooses word that censure the events. The omitting of information that could potentially help in proving also helps the boy develop the positive image of his father. After reading the poem the reader wonders why the boy would want to his abusive father in a positive light. If anything, the reader would think the child would want justice for the abuse. But the answer is really simple. The boy just wants to be able to think of his father fondly. If the boy has to lie and change the truth and reality of the situation to accomplish this, he is willing. The boy has to reimagine abuse as a waltzing to develop the positive image of his father. 
