Throughout Lucille Clifton’s “forgiving my father,” there are multiple elements that help portray the daughter’s father as a womanizer. Clifton repeatedly uses similar words and phrases in order to put an emphasis on this idea. In “forgiving my father,” the repetition of the word “her,” the descriptions of the men in the child’s life, and repetition of money being due are all elements that present the message that the child’s father was an unfaithful ladies’ man.

Clifton frequently repeats the word “her” throughout the poem. When reading the poem for the first time, the reader might believe that “her” is only describing the girl’s mother. However, after reading through the poem several times, it becomes clear that there may be more than one woman who is being referred to as “her.” When the author says “you gave her all you had which was nothing,” she is describing the daughter’s mother, who never seemed to receive anything, including child support, from the father (Clifton, 13-14). Later in the poem, Clifton states “you have already given her all you had” (Clifton, 14-15). In this instance, she is referring to a woman other than the mother. Clifton makes it sound like the father could not give anything to his wife and daughter because he already gave everything to someone else. Perhaps, the father had a mistress and spoiled her with all his money instead of providing for his wife and daughter. This could be why the child in the poem wishes her father was wealthy so she could steal the money and give it to her mother because it is “what she was due” (Clifton, 11). However, what was “due” to the mother could also represent the father’s inability to give the mother what she deserved: a faithful, responsible, loving husband, which this man clearly was not. By repeating the word “her,” the author draws the reader’s attention to the word, making it clear that there is more than one woman in the father’s life, which creates problems for the daughter and the mother.

Another clue to the father’s infidelity is when Clifton calls him an “old liar.” This indicates that the father lied about various things, but it is likely that he may have lied about having a mistress, giving his money to other women, or maybe even paying prostitutes. Two more descriptors of the father that lead the reader to believe that he was unfaithful or a ladies’ man are “old prisoner,” and “old lecher” (Clifton, 9-10).  According to Merriam-Webster, a lecher is a man who shows an extreme interest in sexual activity. He may have been a prisoner to his habits of being involved with many women, and he was unable to give those habits up for his family. Regardless of which description the author uses, the father is clearly presented as a man who was not faithful to his wife and enjoyed the company of many women.

The author’s descriptions of the men in the poem are a key element that contribute to the main idea. In the second stanza, Clifton describes the father as a lecher, which means he was a womanizer in deed. However, she continues to describe the other men in the daughter’s family as “needy,” which might mean they were needy when it came to women. When the author said the father was “the only son of a needy father” and “the father of a needy son,” she implied that the father was also a needy man (Clifton, 12-13). By describing the father as a lecher, and describing the other male relatives in her life as “needy,” Clifton leads the reader to believe that these men’s needs could only be satisfied by having multiple women in their lives and that this problem is passed down from father to son.

The repetition of money being due is another element that contributes to the exposure of the father’s infidelity. When the author describes the money that was due to the mother, she repeats the word payday, as if the father owed the mother and daughter money on a certain day each month. If the father did have a mistress, it is likely that he and the child’s mother went through a divorce because of the other woman, and that he would have to pay child support, which would be due to the mother on a specific date. When the Clifton writes “my mother’s hand opens in her early grave and I hold it out like a good daughter,” she is referring to the child support that the father owes (Clifton, 6-7). It is clear that the mother may have been providing for herself and child without help of the father, and that he owes the mother money for all the struggles and hard times that the two have had to go through as a result of his negligence and unwillingness to provide for them. Perhaps the father spent the child support money on himself or buying gifts for his mistress, or decided not to pay the child support because he did not care about his daughter or her mother. Regardless of where the money actually went, it did not end up where it was supposed to be, and the father was in debt to his daughter and her mother. 

The author presents the message that the child’s father is a cheating, lying lecher through the different elements used in the poem. The descriptions of the male members in the family express the idea that all of the men in the girl’s family are “ladies’ men,” or that they needed multiple women in their lives to feel satisfied with themselves. The repeated use of the word “her” reveals to the reader that perhaps the father had a mistress, and that “her” described multiple women, not just the mother of his daughter; this presents the idea that the father was an unfaithful man who did not give the mother of his child what she truly deserved. Another element that contributes to the main idea is money that is owed; the father likely owed child support to the mother and his child, but did not pay them when the money was due, if he even paid the money at all. Despite the poem being titled “forgiving my father,” the author points out the father’s flaws through these elements; she presents him as an unfaithful, dishonest, womanizer, which does not sound very forgiving. This poem is a way for the daughter to come to terms with the fact that her father was not the man she wished for him to be, and perhaps she did not intend to forgive him for his wrongdoings, but only the debts for which he owed his family.
