Theodore Roethke incorporates multiple different elements in his poem “My Papa’s Waltz” to convey some very heavy messages. What appears at first read to be a light-hearted work about the relationship between a father and son and their nightly dancing around the house, is revealed to be a much darker tale of abuse and inner conflict. The narrator romanticizes the event taking place by referring to it as a “waltz” in order to cope with the traumatizing effects of what is actually happening throughout the poem. 

At first glance, the words that tend to stand out within the poem are whiskey, dizzy, waltzing, romped, and perhaps mother. The reader is immediately exposed to language that describes drunkenness and rough housing despite the title leading them to believe the poem is recounting a traditional, formal partner dance. The inconsistency between the author’s word choice and the subject matter that the title leads the reader to believe the poem is about creates a sense of irony early in the work. Roethke leaves some subtle, and other not so subtle, hints throughout “My Father’s Waltz” that implies that waltzing may not be what is truly going on between father and son. 

In the first stanza of the poem, the reader is introduced to a father figure who reeks of whiskey strong enough to “make a small boy dizzy”. Already, Roethke is hinting at the fact that the father is not in the best condition for a “waltz” let alone to act as a father is supposed to. The fact that the father is established as a drunk so early on in the poem also dampens the light-hearted tone that the title leads the audience to believe would be ever-present within the poem. A waltz is rarely performed while one partner is highly intoxicated and roughly pulling the other partner around, and that is exactly what appears to be occurring in the poem. This realization helps to reveal that a formal ballroom dance is not what is taking place and that a more violent and sloppy act may be the substitute for these playful descriptors. 

A key word that can be used to decipher the real meaning behind this poem is “romped”. Roethke could have chosen any other word similar to rough housing or horseplay, but instead he chose romped which, when read along with the entirety of the poem, possesses a connotation of sexual abuse. Reading the poem with this knowledge and is this new context, the reader is able to discover unseen aspects of the theme that Roethke wants to convey. Another word that plays an important role in understanding the meaning of this work is “waltz”. The denotation of waltz is a formal ballroom dance in three-fourths time, though, it becomes apparent that what the boy in the poem is describing is far from a ballroom dance. With quotes such as, “every step you missed my right ear scraped a buckle” and “we romped until the pans slid from the shelf”, this “waltz” between the father and son is portrayed as a rough and sloppily performed act. 

The disconnect between how the boy describes this event and how he labels it: a waltz; reveals that he is attempting to romanticize the act, to make it not as bad as it may have been and the theme of family and admiration for one’s parent comes in to play at this point. The boy has clearly experienced something traumatic, though he is constantly covering up the true act with light-hearted descriptors and substitution words. This particular word usage is evidence that he is trying to honor the innate admiration a son possesses for his father, even though he is undoubtedly being abused by the man he believes he needs to look up to and respect. An inner conflict of sorts has developed within the son and simultaneously within the poem. The use of light-hearted language to mask much darker and sinister undertones is very similar to what the feeling the boy is experiencing, because although he and his father roughly romp around the kitchen, he remains clinging to his father’s shirt after all is done and he is taken to bed. 

Roethke’s use of an even pace throughout the poem along with a cheerful ABAB rhyme scheme is often purposefully misleading to the reader. Despite the visual choppiness of the poem’s lines, the rhyming tends to mask the darkness of what is happening in the work. Though, the meter of the poem is actually very similar to the waltz Roethke describes because it is the same tempo in which a waltz is performed in: three-fourths time. 

An important word that also needs to be mentioned is mother. This word is only included once, but that holds significant weight when the poem is read in its entirety. It sends the message to the reader that the mother is not very present when it comes to the questionable relationship between father and son. The word countenance is also used in the same sentence as mother which raises an interesting point since it was used to describe her facial expression, but also carries the definition of “to tolerate” or “allow”. Tolerating is exactly what the mother is doing in this poem, due to the violent nature portrayed by the father it is justifiable to say that the mother plays a very small role in how matters are handled within this family and is practically forced to sit idly by as the abuse takes place since she holds no ground in the matter. 

Roethke is able to successfully convey the theme of family through his language particularly because of the connotations that his words carry. The words Roethke chose to use in this poem also help to mask what is really going on between the father and his son while creating the illusion that all is well within the family and only a simple dance is being enjoyed before bedtime. As the audience reads further past each line, it becomes more and more apparent that the denotations of many words don’t necessarily matter as much as how they can make the reader feel in conjunction with the context of the poem. 

This particular work of Roethke’s was published in 1942 during a very tense period of United States history. Despite the Great Depression recently ending and World War II on the horizon, the societal expectations of women had hardly evolved to match the roles they now had to take on outside of the house. In "Split Income and Separate Spheres: Tax Law and Gender Roles in the 1940s", Carolyn Jones provides an explanation as to why society was still reluctant to recognize women as more than homemakers and child bearers. She notes that a greater emphasis was put on the home being the center of women’s lives which attributed to the decline in the female work force shortly after the war had ended, "social stability had replaced military victory as the national goal and women were needed as wives and mothers rather than as workers” (Jones 264). 

The diminished role of women in the work force also translated into men once again regaining control over matters of the household, including but certainly not limited to disciplinary methods. Roethke illustrates an abusive relationship between father and son that is simply tolerated by the narrator’s mother, whom he only mentions once throughout the entire poem. The mother’s absence accurately reflects the submissive and passive role women were expected to resume during this time. Despite the apparent violence and abuse present within the family, the woman held no ground when it came to how her husband chose to treat his son because it simply was not her place. 

Roethke creates an illusion of a harmonious family but the reality ends up being very contrary to this initial assumption. It becomes apparent through analyzing the text and the word choice that the relationship between father and son is very questionable and most likely harmful. Though, the passivity of the mother furthers the feeling of disgust the audience already possesses for what the father is subjecting his son to. Despite the very limited roles a woman was expected to have in household matters other than in regards to homemaking and childcare, the mother in this poem simply tolerates what it going on, almost as if she has grown accustomed, or even numb, to the occurrence. 

An important aspect that attributes to the harshness of the poem’s context is the father’s drinking. Roethke makes it clear that the father has consumed excessive amounts of alcohol before performing this “waltz” with his son, making his movements jerky and unbalanced. Martin Plant’s research on the effects of parents’ excessive drinking on children provides some medical and historical context that is relevant throughout Roethke’s work. Plant introduces a theory that the presence of a father with a drinking problem significantly heightens the level of stress a child experiences and often leads to low self-esteem and inferiority complexes. As for the effects on the entire household, multiple studies outlined in Plant’s research conclude that a “harmonious family life [is] impossible” (Plant 436). 

The abuse that takes place in the poem can be attributed to the father’s drinking and therefore clear evidence of the conclusion mentioned in the previous paragraph. The audience can assume the child is still a young boy, as he is still carried to bed in his father’s arms, so he still views his father as a protector and provider for the family. The boy is forced to deal with an internal conflict between how he wants and has been taught to view his father, and the view he develops through the abuse his father subjects him to. Faced with polar opposite ideas of how a father figure should and does behave, the child romanticizes the abusive events by referring to them as a “waltz”. This coping mechanism allows the young boy to maintain the innate favorable view he possesses of his father throughout the course of this traumatic experience.  

In "Socialization of Coping With Community Violence”, various coping suggestions are outlined along with their effectiveness in children who utilize them. A child’s preferred coping mechanism is often influenced by the quality of the relationship between parent and child, family environment, as well as family structure. Focusing primarily on using family structure to formulate a way of coping with abuse, the mother’s passive role within the household is evidence that the father holds all authority, which traditionally means he is expected to be treated with the utmost respect. His son is then taught to hold his father to an undeservingly high standard which translates into his own form of coping that puts a positive spin on any negative actions his father displays.

This young child ends up in a very difficult and conflicting position. The boy doesn’t know whether to honor his innate love and respect for the man of the house, or hate him for the trauma he has put him through. Developing such a skewed perspective of a father figure so early on in life would most likely cement this way of thinking in the young child’s mind for years to come. Unfortunately, research shows time and time again that children who are exposed to a certain way of viewing relationships, habits, methods for doing things, etc. will generally grow up to behave in the same manner because it’s what they have been taught to think of as “normal”. 

In instances such as the one Roethke illustrates in his poem, the audience can only be lead to assume the boy continues to live with this constant struggle, at least until he becomes of age to understand what is going on between him and his father is not right. Still, that realization could never come after developing the idea that it is okay so early in his life. In other words, the boy may never know the difference between a healthy father-son relationship and the type of which he and his father share. By opening this poem up to psychological-based interpretation, the audience is able to gain a deeper understanding of how and why the young boy chooses to cope with this experience in the way that he does. 

By gathering research about the historical context of “My Papa’s Waltz”, the poem brings to light the limited roles of women during the 1940’s despite an evolving economic and social climate. Through this outside research, an audience could make connections that may not have been apparent before in regards to the societal expectations of a woman during this time and how those expectations were reflected in the hierarchy of families. A deeper understanding of details such as the mother only being mentioned once in the poem are developed when the audience is aware of the reality of what was going on at the time the work was being written. 

Additionally, by gaining insight regarding the psychology of a child, like the boy portrayed in the poem, a whole new set of circumstances are created. The audience is now able to beyond the child and his experiences as depicted within the work, but as a real struggle many children are subject to both during the time of Roethke’s writing and in today’s society This new knowledge makes the poem even more sentimental for the reader since it is difficult not to consider the significant effects that a family life such as this one would have on a young child, and how he would grow up to view everything from relationships to possibly drinking habits through a distorted lens. 

Theodore Roethke gives his audience a very different perspective on domestic abuse by viewing the experience through the eyes of a child. This decision to author the poem this way makes the story even more tragic because of how conflicted the young child is about his father and what he is subject to without objection from his mother. Even though the boy has created his own way of coping with his trauma, it is apparent from an outside view that the child will struggle with this internal conflict for years to come and the effects on his development will not be favorable. 
