Over the past three decades, an overwhelming number of combat veterans from the Vietnam War have been experiencing psychological effects linked to untreated cases of post-traumatic stress disorder. This growing wave of veterans has caused a rising awareness amongst members of society, and has even evoked leading psychologists to work towards addressing this undocumented condition. At the roots of the mental illness stem a variety of different aggressive and unstable behavioral patterns. The characters from Tim O’Brien’s “The Things They Carried” and other Vietnam veterans have experienced such severe levels of PTSD that their ability to maintain healthy relationships has been shattered leaving them isolated from society. Without healthy relationships in the community and the household, veterans struggle to integrate back into civilization where they can rediscover purpose and self-value.

One of the largest social needs that humans identify with is the mental drive that propels mankind to strive to create relationships of intimacy or purpose. This drive for companionship is inhibited for veterans who have suffered from a collapse of trust due to their traumatic pasts. One of the key relationships followed in “The Things They Carried” is the one-sided love that Lieutenant Jimmy Cross feels towards a young woman named Martha. Jimmy Cross fantasizes about their relationship reaching a more intimate level, and often he finds himself times reading Martha’s letters to find solace in his hostile situation (Carolina 328). In the article Loneliness, Self-Consciousness, and PTSD: A Therapists Diary, the author Ben Mijuskovic examines how trauma can change a victim of post-traumatic stress disorders outlook on relationships. In his study, Mijuskovic, concluded that by rationalizing/warping relationships to meet an ideal standard created in the victim’s mind, trust deteriorates when the person does not meet the victim’s standard and the relationship falls apart. Also, Mijuskovic discusses how different coping mechanisms can play a strong role in the relationships of PTSD victims (Mijuskovic 44). By hiding behind the comfort of Martha’s letters, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross is risking the lives of the men he is leading, and putting all the men in his company at risk (Carolina 339). After the death of Tim Lavender, Jimmy Cross reaches a moment of clarity. He decides to burn all his pictures and letters from Martha to clear out his emotional baggage for the good of his unit (Carolina 340). In the article Relationship Functioning in Vietnam Veteran Couples: The Roles of PTSD and Anger author, Erika Roberge, created a Longitudinal study to examine relationship dysfunction in Vietnam veterans. In her study, she diagnoses the practice of internalization as one of the main detriments to the dynamic of relationships (Roberge 967). 

Another factor of post-traumatic stress disorder that harms relationships and isolates combat veterans from civilization is the aggressive or depressive outbursts that occur in both in the household and in the society after the war. In the full text of “The Things They Carried”, the chapter Speaking of Courage sheds light on a powerful passage discussing the symptoms of Norman Bowker’s symptoms of PTSD upon returning home to his small lake-town in Iowa. The chapter references dialogue between Norman and his father talking about how proud the father is of Norman due to the medals and honor that represent courage in battle. When his father inquired about how Norman almost won the Silver Star, Norman can only respond with “Just a story.” Norman could not explain the story of how he let a comrade die in the war due to his own cowardice (Online 98). In Roberge’s longitudinal study she brings up a major point that veterans often become depressed or frustrated when trying to vocalize experiences from the war with their loved ones who cannot possibly fathom the situation due to never being exposed to anything similar (Roberge 967). At the time soldiers were returning from Vietnam they struggled to find meaningful roles in society and the soldiers were expected to pretend as if their whole time in the war had not even occurred. That was the breaking point for Norman Bowker in “The Things They Carried”. In the next chapter, Notes, Tim O’Brien references the letters that he received from Bowker before he committed suicide three years later. Notes reflects on Bowker writing letters to O’Brien about the many jobs he worked but could not find a purpose in, his failed attempt of returning to school, and the time he spent circling the lake in his father’s Chevy pick-up thinking about anything that came to his mind. Nothing he tried could bring his friend back to life and he never found a way to outrun the horrors of Vietnam (Online 167). Roberge’s study also talks about the modern treatment of PTSD among veterans that addresses a process of group counseling not only for the veteran but for his loved ones too, in effort to form a consensual understanding of the situation (Roberge 967). This method helps to break down emotional stress and improve relationships within the dynamic.

Emotional baggage and fear can also be heavily attested to the relationship damage caused by PTSD. In “The Things They Carried”, Lieutenant Jimmy Cross discusses the intangibles of grief, terror, love, and longing and how these desires carry an emotional weight with them. The greatest of these desires is the desire to die (when it comes) with honor. Cross explains that the greatest fear in the hearts of men is that of dying a cowardly death. When thinking about fear, Jimmy Cross ponders “It was very sad, he thought. The things men carried inside. The things men did or felt they had to do (Carolina 340)”. In Mijuskovic’s article he talks about how fear can often leave PTSD paralyzed in social situations. Also, random unexpected incidents can trigger flashbacks that leave victims in unstable states (Mijuskovic 44). Often the fear the men feel after the war is tied to regrets they faced in the decisions they made, or in the outcomes of these decisions.

During combat veterans time in Vietnam they were strained from carrying the emotional baggage of facing distanced relationships with loved ones back in the U.S. They were exposed to levels of trauma that people from the mainland could not even begin to comprehend, and this left a huge gap where the societal value of these men should have filled in. The veterans in O’Brien’s story have witnessed first-hand the damage that PTSD can cause and how painful the feeling of isolation can be. PTSD has turned into quite a large prober in today’s growing age veterans.  And it needs to be societies role to work out a way to connect with this generation of veterans in hopes of integrating them back into society and helping them to create the well-structured relationships that they need to thrive. Like the proverb, “It takes a village to rear a child”, veterans need the help of the community to relearn how to slowly work their way out of isolation.
