Imagine being taken away from your home at a very young age.  Imagine growing up without knowing who your real parents are.  Could you imagine what kind of psychological damage this could have on a person for the rest of their life?  Childhood abandonment is a serious issue that stays with you your whole life.  It makes it hard for victims to trust people again, as well as form healthy relationships with others.   This can be seen in the character Lila in Lila by Marilynne Robinson.  Lila had a rough childhood growing up as an orphan.  She was taken by Doll and lived with her until Doll died.  As a result, Lila has a difficult time trusting anyone, as well as sustaining healthy relationships as an adult.  Additionally, she does not feel as if she is worthy of certain things such as baptism and pregnancy.  Lila’s orphaned past makes it nearly impossible to live a prosperous life.  Lila’s childhood abandonment makes it very difficult for her to trust others and form healthy relationships as an adult.  This is important because most people do not know the effects of childhood abandonment.

Childhood abandonment is a real issue that effects not only a person’s childhood, but their whole life.  When children are abandoned and without the psychological or physical protection that they need, it is natural for them to internalize incredible fear.  Not receiving the psychological or physical protection equals abandonment.  This can be seen in Lila because she is reluctant to share her emotions with others.  Living with repeated abandonment experiences can create great shame and guilt.  They think that since nobody cares for them that they are not important.  This can also be seen in Lila because she does not think she is worthy of baptism and her relationship with Ames.  Some of the causes of childhood abandonment are lack of supervision, lack of nutrition and meals, inadequate clothing and housing, verbal or emotional abuse, and neglect.  Lila experiences most of these growing up with Doll.  Symptoms of childhood abandonment can be mental or physical and last into adulthood.  Some key symptoms in people who experienced childhood abandonment are removal from social activities and resistance towards others, guilt and the feeling that they did something wrong to cause this, fear and uncertainty, sleeping and eating disorders, and physical disabilities such as fatigue, anxiety, depression, lack of energy and creativity, anger, and grief.  Lila exhibits most of these symptoms throughout the book.

A good scene that illustrates the effects of Lila’s childhood abandonment is the scene where Lila is talking to Ames in the church.  In this scene, Lila is uncomfortable while talking to Ames.  She is uncomfortable because she does not want to socialize and she does not feel worthy to talk.  These are both symptoms of childhood abandonment.  Furthermore, she constantly states that she doesn’t know why she came here and she is reluctant to open up to Ames.  Although Lila says she does not know why she is here, her actions indicate that she is lonely and she does want someone to talk with.  Unfortunately, she does not know or does not feel comfortable opening up to Ames.  Later she says, “I don’t much like to talk.”  This shows that Lila does not think that anyone cares about what she has to say, and also that she is not willing to open up to anyone because of her troubled past.  Later Lila says, “I got time to myself.  I think about things.”  This suggests that Lila wants to share her life with Ames, but she is too afraid to do so.  Her orphaned past prevents her from creating healthy relationships in the present which proves that the effects of childhood abandonment stay with someone their whole life.  In this scene, she has no confidence in herself and feels guilty about her past.  This is perhaps the most troubling part about childhood abandonment.  Lila needs to realize that what happened in the past was not her fault.  She should not feel guilt over her past, but it is the only thing she knows how to feel.  This passage shows that people who are abandoned in childhood not only develop trust and relationship issues later in life, but also carry their abandonment issues with them to adulthood.

Although Lila will have to live with her abandonment issues forever, she does progress as a character through her relationship with Ames.  The scene where Lila finds a boy in the shack while she is trying to buy a present for Ames proves this.  Lila spots a desperate boy living in the shack.  Lila offers him food.  She says “I got some cheese and crackers here.  Plenty for both of us, if you’d like to join me.”  This is a big turning point for Lila because she never has had the confidence to start a conversation and offer to help someone until now.  During this scene, Lila begins to realize how similar her life was to that of this boy.  She understands what this boy is going through and she does her best to help him.  Later in the scene, she gives the money in the shack to the boy.  She says, “That’s all right.  You can keep it all.  I was just going to buy some kind of a present for my old preacher.  But he don’t need nothing.  He’d be the first to say.  Better you keep it.”  This is important because she gives up the money that she had been saving up to possibly leave Iowa.  This shows that she wants to stay with Ames and raise her child with him.  The scene is also very similar to the scene in the church except Lila is Ames and the boy is Lila.  Lila welcomes the boy and offers to help him, just like Ames did to Lila earlier.  This shows just how much progress Lila has made since her childhood.  Lila then says, “Well, you got to get some warm clothes and some good shoes.  The preacher keeps things like that in a box somewhere.  I can bring them out here tomorrow.  Then you spend that money on a bus ticket.”  Once again Lila offers to help the boy and shows genuine interest in his well-being.  The reason for this is that she not only wants to help the boy, but also sees herself in him.  She recognizes the similarities in their upbringing and does not want to see him suffer the same fate that she did. Lila’s continual growth as a character is shown vividly in this scene.  She may not be totally removed from her past, but she has made great strides.

Although Lila finds stability with Ames, she still cannot completely shake her orphaned past.  Not a day goes by where Lila does not doubt herself and think about running away and starting a new life with her child.  People who suffer from childhood abandonment exhibit fear and a lack of confidence. This is seen in the scene with Ames and Lila in the church.  However, Lila’s behavior toward the boy shows that she is getting better.  She is genuinely concerned for his safety and offers to give him food, money, and clothes.  This is something Lila never would have done before she met Ames.  The progress that she makes in the book is impressive.  Most people who suffer from childhood abandonment are unable to even form relationships as an adult.  Lila’s relationship with Ames is not perfect, but it gets better and better as the book carries on.  Even though she loves Ames, she just cannot express it to him.  This is all because of Lila’s orphaned past.  She was affected by it so much that she will never fully heal.  This shows that childhood abandonment is a serious issue that affects not only your childhood, but also your adult life. 
