What causes an individual to develop into the person that they are today? This question evokes an argument that has gone on for decades in the field of psychology. Factors of nature, meaning our genes, and nurture, meaning the environment in which we grew up in, both affect the way we develop. The novel, Lila, by Marilynne Robinson focuses on the nurture side of this argument as it portrays the environment the main character, Lila Dahl, grows up in and how she develops throughout the story as a result. Lila was abandoned as a child and was left on the steps of an orphanage to die. Despite Doll eventually coming to Lila’s rescue and becoming her primary caregiver, this traumatic experience of abandonment takes its toll on Lila in the years to come. By looking at Lila’s relationship with her husband, John Ames, we can see that she develops interpersonal conflicts in her adulthood, which is not obvious to most readers. This is important because these external obstacles illustrate the way a history of abandonment can affect an individual’s relationship with others in the future. 

Lila developed an insecure attachment with her mother at infancy and this has caused conflicts within her relationships decades later. Joyce Catlett describes these conflicts in her online article, Understanding Anxious Attachment-Part 1: Ambivalent/Anxious Attachment, by stating that, “Children who have an ambivalent/ anxious attachment often grow up to have preoccupied attachment patterns. As adults, they are self-critical and insecure. They seek approval and reassurance from others, yet this never relieves their self-doubt. In their relationships, deep seated feelings that they are going to be rejected make them worried and not trusting”. Ambivalent/anxious attachment is a type of insecure attachment that has clearly affected Lila. Lila was rejected from her own parents, who are supposed to be the first two people someone develops an attachment to in their life. The first thing Lila was exposed to when she was born was abandonment. This causes Lila to fear rejection for the rest of her life and to be very distrustful of others as a result of this. Lila illustrates her inability to trust others as an adult when she says to John Ames,” ‘I can’t trust you!’” (Robinson 89). She continues,” ‘that’s a fact. I don’t trust nobody” (Robinson 89). At this point in the novel, Lila has just agreed to marry Ames and still, she doesn’t trust her own future husband. This is shocking to people who have experienced secure attachments at infancy because they have grown up to trust others more easily and in this situation they would trust the person they are about to marry. This is not the case for Lila since she never experienced this secure attachment during childhood, which has negatively affected her future relationships.

Developmental psychologist, Harry Harlow, focuses on the nurture argument of the nature vs. nurture controversy as well and through his experiments, he sheds light on the attachment issues that Lila relates to in her childhood. His findings contributed to the understanding of how experiences in one’s early life can affect their adulthood. In his first experiment, he created two surrogate mothers, one made of wire that provided milk and one that was covered in cloth, but did not provide any form of nutrition. After many trials, it was clear that the monkeys spent the most time with the cloth mother despite the fact that this mother did not feed them. This shows that the need for physical contact and comfort is just as important, and could even be more important, than the biological need for food. Richard Hock, in his work, Forty Studies That Changed Psychology, relates Harlow’s findings to attachment by explaining that, “Instead, a fundamental need for contact comfort was most significant in producing an attachment between infant and its mother” (129). As a newborn, Lila was abandoned by her own parents and left for dead on the stoop of an orphanage. This clearly illustrates the absence of contact comfort Lila experienced, which eliminated any chance she had of producing a secure attachment between her and her mother. This lack of a secure attachment will affect the way Lila develops, impacting her relationship with John Ames. 

Harlow’s second experiment expresses how a lack of contact comfort, which Lila experienced as a newborn, can cause emotional and psychological harm, which are detriments present in Lila’s adulthood. He separated the monkeys into two groups, exposing one group to a wire surrogate mother that provided milk, and the other group to a cloth surrogate mother that provided milk as well. Despite both of these mothers satisfying the monkey’s biological need to be fed, the group of monkeys that were exposed to the wire monkey only, experienced episodes of diarrhea. Hock’s explanation for this is:” This suggests that the lack of the soft mother was psychologically stressful to these infants” (129). The lack of a soft mother means a lack of contact comfort, which clearly harmed the baby monkeys psychologically. With the DNA of Rhesus monkeys being so similar to the DNA of humans, it can be inferred that a lack of contact comfort can be just as psychologically stressful to human infants. Lila experienced the same lack of contact comfort as these monkeys did, drawing the conclusion that Lila faced great psychological stress as an infant, which played a role in her development into adulthood.

Another one of Harlow’s experiments shows how an insecure attachment style can affect an individual, a concept that is closely related to how Lila’s past has affected her development. 

This experiment included a simulated environment in which the monkeys were surrounded by unfamiliar toys and objects with either the cloth mother or the wire mother present. The monkeys that shared the unfamiliar environment with the cloth mother sought the comfort they needed from the surrogate mother and then began to explore their surroundings on their own. The monkeys that shared the unfamiliar environment with the wire mother displayed signs of emotional distress and didn’t feel comfortable enough to explore their surroundings on their own. The monkeys that were in the same room as the cloth mother were aware of the comfort that was close by and this gave them a sense of security, which allowed them to explore the world on their own. These monkeys exhibit a secure attachment to their mothers, which is due to the softness, warmth, and comfort they are provided with by their caregivers. The monkeys that were placed in the same room as the wire mother were not comforted by the same sense of security, so they experienced great distress and fear in their environments, therefore they did not feel comfortable enough to explore their surroundings. This group of monkeys exhibits an insecure attachment to their mothers, which is a result of the unresponsiveness, lack of comfort, and lack of physical contact from their mothers. Lila relates to the second group of monkeys in that, she too, has developed an insecure attachment with her primary caregivers because she was left alone outside with no attention, comfort, or contact. Contact comfort is important in developing a close attachment between infant and mother and Lila was robbed of this opportunity. 

Richard Hock perfectly sums up the way Lila’s history of abandonment has influenced her later in life by stating, “Most psychologists agree that your experiences as an infant with 

closeness, touching, and attachment to your mother (or other primary caregiver) have an important influence on your ability to love and be close to others later in life” (127). Physical contact, responsiveness, and affection all play a large role in the attachment style between caregiver and infant. This attachment developed at infancy is a major determinant in the way one behaves in relationships with others in the future. By looking at Lilah’s relationship with John Ames, it is clear that she has great difficulty trusting others. These struggles in her interpersonal relationships are a result of the insecure attachment style that she experienced when she was abandoned as an infant because she was deprived of contact and comfort. 
