The story of Lila depicts the life of a girl, Lila, who lived her life with a constant feeling of unworthiness and instability.  Lila at a young age was taken by Doll and she raised Lila.  Lila didn’t have her real parents raised her which scared her as she never truly could be secure.  This caused for her to be distrusting of people and not fully love and accept herself.  Doll also was not a stable person throughout the book.  She most likely caused Lila to have severe personality flaws as she was not comfortable in many situations or relationships.

Lilas major wounds from her earlier life are presented throughout her relationship with Jon Ames, a preacher.  Ames and Lila both developed strong feelings for each other yet Lila continued to struggle with trusting Ames and loving herself.  This was evident when Lila was imaging herself leaving and never talking to Ames again even though he hadn’t given her reason.  This indicates that Lila possibly feels as though she is unworthy of whats being presented to her. According to Alexandria Murphy, a professor at Vanderbilt, “A study investigating the connection between parent’s investment and children’s competence suggests that the emotional involvement of parents really does matter and affects the outcome of their child’s emotional competence and regulation”  (Murphy, 1).  Lila not receiving the normal attention a child needs from her parents caused her to not accept her self.  She may have felt unworthy of what Ames was giving her, which can be traced back to the lack of love.  Lila was essentially kidnapped as a child leaving her with no memory of her parents, which evidently scared her for much of her life.  

This is not the only factor adding into Lila’s ill feelings towards her self and others.  Another possibly reason for Lilas distrust could be the potential from splitting apart from a sibling as well as her parents.  Children often feel family is all they have and it is important.  Family is something people can rely on regardless of the situation; however, Lila never got to experience this.  She never had someone to really open up to and engage in a meaningful conversation.  In an academic paper by Uma J. Immanuel Thomas, the personality differences between those who experience abandonment and those who do not are discussed.  One of the common behaviors for those who experience abandonment is self-destruction.  This explains Lila’s tendency to push people who care out of her life.  She is not looking for help anymore, and she pushes those away who can give her the attention she so strongly needs and quietly desires.  Abandonment is a key word, as Lila seems to strongly fear abandonment.  She is never confident in someone to follow through on a promise to stay with her.  

 This is why her ability to share her past with Ames is such a hindrance. 

Further examples of these types of conditions impacting her future life occur deeper into her and Ames relationship.  Ames wanted to baptize Lila, and although the reader could sense this is something Lila desired, she was pushing it away.  She showed a feeling of unworthiness of being baptized.  She continued to go back and forth with herself and Ames about why she shouldn’t be baptized.  Perhaps Lilas struggles in her life propelled her to not even trust a god or feel worthy of being baptized in the name of that god.  This is the ultimate depiction of true insecurities.  Her family not being the ones to take care of her and the hardships in her life caused her wounds so deep that she can’t trust anyone or even a supernatural power to be on her side.  

The struggles for  Lila continued to present  further when Ames discussed with her the possibility of marriage.  Lila begins to feel excited and agrees with the idea emphatically.  However this response was short lived as her brain continued to steer in a wrong direction causing her to second-guess herself.  She teeter-totters with the idea of marriage until Ames finally convinces her.  Perhaps Lila felt this situation may be to good to be true.  She was going to have a chance to become a part of a family, something she never had.  Maybe the past scared her and forced her to question the idea.  The insecurities almost forced Lila out of a great scenario for her.  She fought through the sensation hat she would be abandoned to trust Ames.  

A broader example of the instable life impacting Lila is that she is very slow to truly show herself even to Ames.  She took quite a while to fully delve into her past and tell Ames the trials and tribulations she lived through her entire life.  Even as they became engaged Lila still struggled to fully bring out her emotions.  This once again relates to Lila not having a family, which has detrimental effects on a child’s mental well-being.  She was not use to being able to talk things out, so she may have possibly never really faced the horrors that lie in her past.  Ames had to patiently and delicately peel Lila’s thoughts back as he attempted to delve into who she really was.  

Lila was certainly dealt and unfortunate hand from the beginning of her life but luckily Ames entered her life and began to change her fortunes.  He proved with patience and perseverance that he was one thing Lila could count on.  He worked slowly with her to earn her trust and allow for her to submerge herself fully in the relationship.  Ames was the perfect thing for her hurting soul.  After Ames entered her life and worked her magic, clear differences in Lila prevail.  She is more willing to talk to people and has gained a certain level of confidence in herself.  

In the beginning of the story Lila was a quiet person with strong trust issues.  The trust issues stemmed from a life of instability due to her being an orphan during the time of the great depression.  She was unable to trust other and herself.  Trust is the biggest component in love, meaning she really could not love anyone or herself until these two things were erased.  Ames came into her life and was able to break that barrier causing for Lila to be a better person.  Now Lila can finally experience all that life has to offer when viewing it from a positive perspective.  

Lila overcame a large numbers of extreme personality flaws with Ames on her side.  Lila was able to overcome her distrust in people and really love herself.  She never had a family making it tough to talk to people.  Ames was able to get Lila to open up therefore allowing Lila to face her past.  This made her more accepting of who she was.  She shows trust in people as she takes Ames in as a husband, even if it may have been in an extremely cautious manner.  Lila faced excessive adversity in the beginning of her life form the time she was kidnapped by Doll.  She fought her whole life keeping things inside and finally reached a level where she broke through her old habits.  Now Lila can finally be free from the insecurities that once cursed her
