I decided on the speech “This Is Water” by David Foster Wallace because of the diversity and uniqueness of the speech. I did not do tis speech for my SWA 1 because I hadn’t really gone and annotated the speech as I did the poem “The Fish” by Elizabeth Bishop. When I first read the speech I did not put any thought into how all of the stories connect to teach a valuable lesson. I really like the idea Wallace puts trying to prevent young graduates from being self-centered and going through day to day life without being aware of your surroundings. 

My reader suggested a more creative title and a better hook to grab the reader’s attention. She offered that I move a sentence about credibility to the beginning of the essay to introduce that Wallace can be trusted throrough the speech. She also suggested to add more transitions between ideas and paragraphs. She told me to use more than just the story Wallace used within “This Is Water” which encouraged me to expand on my points. Changing some sentences around and adding more transition phrases helps my essay flow better. 

I would take my readers advice and create better transitions within the essay to help relate everything back to my thesis. I also changed my title to something that included a glimpse of my thesis in order to draw readers in. 