Every person goes through difficult experiences. Some experiences are more difficult than others, but if a person is lucky enough, he or she will be able to come out of that experience more wise and aware before the event happened. Lucille Clifton, author of “Forgiving My Father” writes with passion and energy as a person that is coming to terms with an experience that she had while growing up. There is strong evidence in her poem that she experienced some tough times while growing up; some of which really impacted her opportunities and the lifestyle she was afforded while growing up. However, this poem is an emotional expression of the challenges she faced and the way she ultimately saw her father. Using rich and descriptive language in the poem, “Forgiving My Father,” Clifton demonstrates that her life growing up was never easy and that while she realizes now that her father was unfit to parent and support her, she still recognizes the experience as one that impacted her life.

From the very beginning of the poem, Clifton makes it clear that she has thought about her past experiences about her past experiences with her father and that many of these experiences were repeated, common, and a part of her every day experience. When she writes, “it is friday. we have come to the paying of the bills” (lines 1-2), this is the ending of each week for Clifton; a time when the bills are due and the person most responsible is not present or capable of paying. She writes, “all week you have stood in my dreams like a ghost, asking for more time“ (lines 3-4), revealing that her father is not physically present, but instead only arrives once a week to come and pay bills with money he does not have. Clifton does not care why he has been absent because, “today is payday, payday old men” (line 5) as if she has to angrily remind him again of his responsibility to support her. She is tired of the fight and the demanding attitude she has from watching her mother struggle, a woman that is heading to an “early grave” (line 6), the result of struggling every day to survive. Regardless of the hardship, Clifton is determined to not be stopped by her father and still not like a “good daughter” (line 7).

Clifton sees her father as a deadbeat. By using words like “payday” and “ghost” the only time that Clifton’s father is present in her life is when she needs money. But eventually she is disappointed by her father and his inability to support her or her mother financially. It is clear that while she is disappointed, she does not allow this disappointment to stop her from living. As Clifton writes, “there is no more time for you. There will never be enough time daddy daddy old lecher old liar“ (lines 8-9). The words “lecher“ and “liar“ show that Clifton no longer believes the stories that her father tells about not having money because she knows that he is not good; always looking for a handout. However, he will never give other people what they need or takes care of his responsibilities. She is very supportive of her mother, since Clifton has seen her struggle, wishing that her father was “rich so I could take it all and give the lady what she was due” (lines 10-11).  Although Clifton wants to give her mother more and take it away from her father. She does not blame her father, recognizing that his past made him what he is at that moment. “the son of a needy father” Clifton knows that her father is not capable of giving anything or doing better, because he did not have an example to go by and the example he had did not teach him responsibility or how to take care of others.

Clifton sees that her father is incapable of being the man who can give her financial support because he came from a background where he never learned how to be responsible or to take care of his business. This upsets Clifton, but because she understands his background, she does not blame him for who or what he is in life. She is angry and the words of “empty” or “dead” reveal an attitude about her father as someone who does not exist in her life, does not have any meaning and ultimately holds no importance for her because she has come to the understanding that he cannot be anything other than what he is. This is why when Clifton asks, “what am i doing here collecting?” (line 21) she comes to the conclusion that what emotions and time she gives her father is a waste because he will never change and he will always be who he is in life. She needs to go on with her life and do what she can and stop thinking that her father is ever going to be someone different than what he is and that is person without responsibilities.

Every person goes through experiences where they are changed as a person, and Clifton shows that her experience with her father, a person that was not supportive of her or her mother, was a major disappointment. However, rather than stay angry at her father and continue to hope for him to be something that he is not, Clifton comes to terms with who her father is, accepts that he will be a disappointment and that she must live her life without trying to figure out why he lives his the way that he does.  
