When we think of time, our initial reaction can sometimes be that it is something that gets away from us, or something that we don’t have enough of. Our time, in the general sense, is limited and we must find a way to make the best of it. This idea serves as the driving force in Tobias Wolff’s short story, Bullet in the Brain, and is what affects his main character, Anders, most directly. Wolff raises questions such as: How are we spending the time we are given? At the end of our time, will we look back on it with fondness, or with regret? What will go through our minds as our time is coming to an end, what important times (if any) will stand out? These questions and many more are triggered throughout our reading of the story of Anders and his tragic end, and they cause us to reflect on our own lives, and what we will do with our time on Earth from here on out. Through close and careful reading of this story, I will deconstruct Wolff’s writing in search of the different methods that he uses to create these questions, so that readers may apply them to real-world issues. 

Sometimes we tend to take our time for granted, wanting nothing more than to rush onto the next project or item on our to-do list. Such is the way of Tobias’ character, Anders, in this short story. Anders is presented to us in line at a bank, something most readers can relate to and understand the struggle of, making his situation seem more likely and easily understood. Anders is pressed for time it seems, inferred through the statement that, “of course the line was endless and he [Anders] got stuck behind two women whose loud, stupid conversation put him in a murderous temper” (Wolff 200). Through the harsh tone and vicious words such as “loud”, “stupid”, and “murderous” used to describe Anders’ attitude towards being at the bank, readers get the sense that he is viewing his time here as a hassle and a burden, seeming anxious to get out of the current situation as soon as possible. Through this analysis, we can infer that this moment represents his rushed time, and how he feels as if his time is simply being wasted here in this situation.

As Anders’ bothersome bank trip drags on, we are then presented with another take on the concept of time as the conflict in the story climbs to its peak, when “two men in black ski masks and blue business suits” enter the bank, with one holding a “pistol pressed against the guard’s neck” (201). This could simply be the idea of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or could represent how quickly our time on Earth can be threatened. Wolff uses these men in masks as a threat to Anders and everyone around him, much like the threats that people face every day; from a car crash to a bank robbery like this one. I found it amusing how, in the midst of all of the chaos that occurred, that Wolff chose to then have Anders focus on things such as the painting on the ceiling, going off on a tangent about how “the artist had a few tricks up his sleeve and used them again and again—a certain rosy blush on the underside of the clouds, a coy backwards glance on the faces of the cupids and fauns” (203). This great detail seems so out of place, and almost like a halting of time altogether, like a slow motion scene in a movie. It is ironic that as his time on Earth is being threatened, Anders chooses a moment such as this to analyze and almost have an appreciative attitude towards the art on the bank ceiling.  Through the use of a more ‘soft’ language style when stating the painting’s “rosy blush” or discussing the facial expressions of the cupids and fauns, Wolff suddenly draws readers in to a very particular moment in Anders’ mind that is much different from the fast-paced nature of the rest of the story. This serene-like tone seems so out of place, it makes readers questions Wolff’s motives behind including it. Through closer analysis of this situation, these almost ‘dainty’ details could be a move by Wolff to create a closeness between Anders and the audience, for we catch him at a seemingly pure and sensitive time amidst his former attitude towards his surroundings. 

The calm-like tone that seems to overtake the story comes to a screeching halt when Anders says the notorious “capiche—Oh, God, capiche” line, mocking his captors, resulting in “the man with the pistol” shooting Anders “right in the head” (204). The casual tone in which Wolff chooses to relay Anders’ fall seems odd, because just as we are introduced to Anders’ more sensitive, simple mindset, it seems as though we are not supposed to be attached to this character in a way, simply observing the shooting ‘right in his head’, instead of some poetic portrayal. This sudden distance that Wolff creates between readers and the main character could stem from the idea that Anders has this ability to attach and detach himself from situations as well. While he seems to want nothing more than to be out of his current situation, he suddenly uses his time (unknowingly his last few moments of it) to admire a detail of this place he made a point to despise. As we come upon this idea of a slow motion scene unfolding, we then go down the rabbit hole that is Anders’ mind in his last few moments. Time seems to drag on as Wolf exclaims the “did not remember”s (204, 205) in reference to his life memories, which again is an ironic situation seeing how fast the bullet actually was traveling. These memories not remembered are worth noting, for they give readers insight into Anders’ past, without them being directly stated. The more tragic element of the story begins to set in, because just as readers are getting to know a deeper side of Anders through his memories, he is forgetting them, losing more and more time as the story moves on. We begin to question Anders’ use of time on Earth, and what has happened to all of these memories that we are told. This allows us to reflect on our lives and time spent, bringing up the question of what we will remember when our time has ended. Wolff creates a sense of worry for readers, as we begin to 

The memory that Anders does remember is arguably the most important passage in the story. Readers are given the one moment in time that Anders’ brain recalls, which speaks volumes of what was important and meaningful in his eyes. Considering the enormous amount of memories that did not come across his mind, the detail in which Wolff chooses to portray his one final thought is astounding. Using specific description such as, “Heat. A baseball field. Yellow grass, the whir of insects, himself leaning against a tree” (205), Wolff shows that this recollection is truly important to Anders. I found the simplicity of this memory touching in a way, and the fact that he was a young boy at the time is fitting, due to the innocence of children in that they do not know the cruelties of the world—which Anders was experiencing in being shot. The memory alone sheds light onto what Anders deemed life-changing, and readers can infer that his love for language started at this point in his life. Young Anders was infatuated with a term one of his fellow baseball players used—“they is”—and Wolff states that he was “strangely roused, elated by those final two words, their pure unexpectedness and their music” (205). After reading this, the audience suddenly realizes the full circle nature of this story, and the irony with it, in that as Anders is shot for his amusement in the word ‘capiche’, his mind automatically takes him to his first memory of an amusement and appreciation for unique language on the baseball field, in the form of ‘they is’. 

While Anders’ time has run out, Wolff chooses to use the bullet that took his life as a symbol for time itself. He states that, “it won’t be outrun forever, or charmed to a halt. In the end it will do its job and leave the troubled skull behind” (205). The same can be said for time, in that it stops for no one, and leaves us behind when it is through with us. Wolff raises the question of what we will do with our last few moments of time on Earth, and how we will look back on the past time, unable to change anything about it. What will be our memory like Anders’ of the baseball field? Although he lived a full life, there was something in his heart that lead him to experience his last few minutes on Earth in peace, and that one memory allowed for time to almost slow down for him, if just for a moment. Wolff uses this story of Anders to tell readers that time and its ending is inevitable, but that we should use it so that we have moments in our lives like Anders’ on that field that we can look back on when our time is through, and we can know that we experienced true joy and passion at one point, even if it was lost along the way. 
