
In “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke, there is a very distinct relationship between the father and son in the poem. Analyzing each stanza in the poem, a reader could easily depict a type of relationship that could be present, but the reader could be misguided by the way Roethke words some of his phrases to show the relationship as abusive. By looking at Theodore Roethke’s “My Papa’s Waltz”, we can see that the use of the language in the poem shows a loving relationship between the father and son that most readers don’t see, this is important because most readers see the relationship displayed in the poem as a negative or abusive one by the use of the author’s words and phrases. 

The first stanza gives us a view of the child’s opinion of the relationship. We are showed this by the lines “But I hung on like death” (Roethke 90). Many authors use death’s grip as something strong and unyielding, so when Roethke wrote that he hung onto his father like death, he held on so he can be close to his father. This metaphor is used to provoke an emotional response in the reader to show that the child truly cares about his father and cherishes every moment with him. Now, the readers who say there is a negative relationship use the lines “the whiskey on your breath/ could make a small boy dizzy” (Roethke 90) use these lines to prove against a loving relationship between father and son. Readers often like to relate the use of alcohol to something negative, but in this case the father could have come home from a long day’s work and have a drink of whiskey with dinner or have a drink to relax from working hard and providing for his family.  The first stanza gave us an insight on the father and son’s relationship by how the child hangs to his father so strong he compares it to death’s grip, while the next stanzas in the poem show actions in their relationship to prove they do get along together. 

The second stanza provides the reader with the child and father’s playful actions with the lines “We romped until the pans/ Slid from the kitchen shelf” (Roethke 91). The Oxford English Dictionary Online states that the definition of romp is “to ply roughly or energetically or to sport or frolic in lively, light-hearted, or boisterous manner” (“romp”). The definition of romped has a playful context to it, which further proves the point that their relationship is more of a loving and positive relationship than a negative and hateful relationship. In the last part of the stanza, it appears to have a negative tone with the author saying “My mother’s countenance/ could not unfrown itself” (Roethke 91). Readers could make the argument that this shows a negative relationship, but the mother could be frowning because the father and son are making a mess while playing around in the kitchen. While the father and son are making a mess, the mother could be disapproving of both of them playing so energetically and knocking things down or she could be mad that she is not as involved in the child’s relationship as the father is. This stanza shows that the father and child relationship is playful and loving, while the relationship between mother and child may not be the best or as good as the father’s relationship with the child. 

The third stanza is interesting because Roethke uses phrases that seem to show a negative or abusive relationship is present but a closer look would show that a positive relationship is still there. This stanza gives the reader more of an insight on the father with the lines, “The hand that held my wrist/ Was battered” (Roethke 91). Most readers would interpret this as an abusive relationship where the father might beat the child, but a more realistic interpretation of the phrases would be that the father works in some kind of manual labor job to support his family and that is the reason why his hands are battered. The next two lines, “every step you missed/ My right ear scraped a buckle” (Roethke 91), also leave an open interpretation of the father beating the child, but analyzing it closer could prove that the father and child were dancing or playing around. The child could be playing around on the father’s shoes and the average height of a child would most likely be about as tall as an adult’s waist where his belt would be at. So, by predicting the height of the child at about the father’s belt, it is understandable that the child could be standing on the father’s feet while playing and when the father miss-stepped, the child’s ear was hit by his belt buckle. Although this stanza uses darker phrases to persuade readers that the relationship is negative, by analyzing the phrases deeper it could be inferred that the father and child are still playing and still have a positive relationship. 

The final stanza mirrors the third stanza with using phrases that would appear to show a negative relationship while in reality a positive relationship is still being shown. The first two lines of the stanza, “You beat time on my head/ With a palm caked by dirt” (Roethke 91), blatantly says that the father beat something onto the child’s head but it is used as a metaphor and should not be taken to a literal extant. Analyzing the last part of the phrase backs up the theory that the father works in some kind of manual labor job from the third stanza, because the description of the father’s hands being caked by dirt are vivid. Now, the first part of the phrase is a metaphor where the father is patting the child’s head before he has to send him to bed, where as some readers would misinterpret this as the child actually getting beat by his father. The last two lines in the stanza, “Waltzed me off to bed/ Still clinging to your shirt” (Roethke 91) ultimately prove that the relationship between the two is not abusive but extremely positive and loving. If the child was in an abusive relationship, he would not be clinging on to his father’s shirt while going to bed, instead the child would be fearful of his father which the text has no evidence to support the child fearing his father. Lastly, if the father had an abusive relationship with his child, the father would not bother to care enough to waltz the child to bed, which further proves that their relationship is very positive and loving instead of what most readers saying that their relationship is abusive. 

In conclusion, I analyzed each stanza of Roethke’s poem “My Papa’s Waltz” to prove that, what most readers see as an abusive relationship, is really a positive and loving relationship. The first and last stanzas show a little similarity because the child is clinging on to the father and is not in fear of him. The second and third stanzas show that the father and child’s relationship is a playful and although the wording may appear to be abusive, it is shown to be loving. Throughout the poem, the wording and phrasing of lines may appear to tell the reader of an abusive relationship between father and son, but in actuality show that they have a positive relationship and care about each other. 
