Suicide is not an easy topic to analyze. What goes through a person’s head when they have reached the decision to take their own life is a black hole of sadness and despair. What makes suicide so destructive is not just the loss of a life, but what it does to those around the one committing the act. The death of a family member by natural causes severely impacts the entire family group, but when it is not a natural death and they take themselves out of this world, it always cuts more deeply. It takes total despair to reach this point where you are able to take your own life, but Tobias Wolff wants you to realize that there is always something to live for, and he communicates that through his work “Bullet in the Brain”. This memory is so impactful, that it makes Anders regret. To fully understand why this memory impacts him so much, we must first analyze Anders’ depression, what happens as he remembers his “better” day, and the thematic message of regret Wolff is portraying. 

Tobias Wolff portrays a very odd character with Mr. Anders. He seems unhappy with everything around him. The first time he engages anyone in the text, Wolff makes sure to show how sarcastic and rude he is. Some people act this way because of their pride and their imagined superiority to those around them, but Anders is obviously hurt. He is most definitely disconnected with reality, and is instead in his own world where he feels so sorry for himself that he can justify all his rude actions. It is just another regular, painful day for Anders at the bank, doing the same thing he does every week. The monotony of Anders’ life is changed up with the introduction of a pair of bank robbers. It is so interesting to notice that once they enter, and everyone’s hearts seem to drop, Anders gets excited. He makes light of the situation which is so odd considering the circumstances. This is a prime example of how sad his life has become. He begins to mock these men, and Anders sees his opportunity. Realizing that this pair of bank robbers are very desperate, he can use them to end his monotony. He speaks up when he should not, and makes fun of them when he has an opportunity which ultimately leads to his death; a suicide by bank robber. 

Anders is a man who views the world as a glass half empty. He scrutinizes everything as if he is the final authority of it. The pompous, self-righteous personality is always in full effect and he never tones it down. With a gun literally stuck underneath his chin, death a mere trigger pull away, he is forced to look upwards at the bank ceiling. According to Wolff, Anders had “no choice but to scrutinize the painter’s work”, which explicitly shows his indifference to his own death, and is a confirmation of his pessimism (Wolff 203). For Anders, this bank robbery was a blessing. Nothing could have gone better for him on this day because he has really lost his will to live. In an attempt to antagonize the bank robber, he talked and heckled them as much as he could. In a last ditch attempt to push the man with the “pale blue, and rawly red rimmed eyes” over the edge, he burst out laughing at his utterance of the word capiche (Wolff 202). That was the end for Anders, right as he began to laugh. The trigger was pulled, the hammer released, the gun powder ignited, and in a ferocious explosion, the projectile began moving at incredible speeds towards his skull. To those not in Ander’s situation, the bullet went by in the blink of an eye, but for Anders, he had plenty of time to evaluate his life. 

This is the part of the text where Wolff reveals his philosophy on life. In this split moment Anders did not remember any of the bad in his life. He only thought of a single memory from his childhood. A simple memory that he probably had long forgotten in his adulthood as he became more critical as he entered adulthood. Even in his youth Anders was a very judgmental boy. As the other boys argue on and on about Mantle and Mays, he describes it as “tedious” and “an oppression like the heat” (Wolff 205). Nothing ever really changed this in Anders. He always criticized and rarely ever enjoyed anything. That was at least until he met Cole’s cousin from Mississippi. The introduction of Cole was the only time one can see any change in Ander’s behavior. Cole’s cousin says one line which seems to really resonate with Anders. “Short’s the best position they is” which stops Anders in his tracks (Wolff 205). Anders found some real beauty in what he said. This phrase attracted Ander’s attention so completely. I am arguing that this was the only time in Ander’s life he really felt something powerful. He was so intrigued, he wanted the boy to say it again so badly, but he did not want to sound like a “jerk” to the other kids, which he probably often did sound like (Wolff 206). This is the first time Anders has shown anything other than criticism. It is important that he went out of his way to avoid criticizing Cole’s cousin because he was so entranced with the two words “they is” (Wolff 205). That hot day in the yellow field was easily Ander’s favorite day. It had to have been if this was the only memory running through his head as a bullet was also. This is exactly what Wolff wanted to emphasize. He wanted to show that even for people like Anders who have little love for the world, there is always something that we can look back on as enjoyable. 

Anders is an anomaly in many cases and this is what Wolff tries to do. He takes the extreme of Anders in order to advocate to his audience that there is always something to live for. Even for this pessimistic man, there is something that makes life worth living, even if it is just two words. Wolff is not only trying to convey that life is worth living, but to live life the way we really want to. Anders was so caught up in self-pity that he forgot to enjoy his life. Criticizing everything and living very little took its toll on him to the point he could no longer live his life anymore. It is a very sad situation that he put himself in, to no longer want to live because you have given up on trying to find what makes you happy. This short story is a rope being thrown to those drowning in their sorrows as well as the pressures of life. Life is not an easy thing to tackle, especially as things progress and social orders change, but Wolff wants to advocate that there is always hope. He wants to express that even in life’s bleakest times, there is that one memory that will take you home. Back to where you truly feel happiness. For some it is easier to find, and others never seem to find it, but this is why we need small wakeup calls in our lives. To show us that there is a great deal to live for, and unfortunately for Anders, this wakeup call came a little too late. Wolff has given us a great piece of writing in order to adjust and evaluate our lives in order to learn from Ander’s fictional mistakes in his short life on the page. Wolff gives a great message and really allows us to see the world through a dying man’s eyes. 
