Though there are many topics that are highly subjective, memory, in some ways, is a bit more debatable than others. When one thinks of memory, it is generally thought that memories are set in stone and that memory, in general, is in one’s complete control. However, these assumptions are not true by any means. In reality, like countless other things, memory can go haywire and even fail completely. Memories can be falsely recalled, and even in some cases, secondhandedly fabricated. In addition, one does not have any control of their memory nor do they have any control over what it is that they recall. These claims can be proved, not only by modern psychology, but by the depictions of memory in the essays Rats in the Walls by H.P. Lovecraft and A Bullet in the Brain by Tobias Wolff. Through these works of literature, it is proved that every aspect of memory is uncertain and unreliable.  Though these works’ depictions of memory could be easily overlooked, they make a very interesting argument as to what memory really is.

Based on a psychological point of view, memory is a phenomenon that occurs in a very grey area because it is so inaccurate in so many ways. Memory is, more commonly than not, falsely recalled. This is due to the fact that memories are encoded improperly into long-term memory for a myriad of reasons. One possibility as to how a memory is not encoded properly, or even not encoded at all, is due to divided attention. The brain can only process and encode a memory when it is focused solely on one thing at a time, so, if one’s attention is divided, the memory will not be stored correctly.

As an example, if one is listening to music while studying, they will not remember the details of either when they try to recall that information later. In Lovecraft’s Rats in the Walls, this process is evident as a possibility as to why de la Poer does not remember his time in the basement. Between de la Poer’s “ecstatic fear, his cat darting past him like a winged Egyptian god into the unknown, and his own running into the oblivion of the basement’s darkness” (Hayden-MacNeil 88), it is obvious that his divided attention led to his inability to remember his time in the priory’s basement. Like the example of studying while listening to music, de la Poer’s lack of focus in any one thing prevented any memory from being recorded. Subsequently, de la Poer knows that he was in the basement but does not know what happened after he began running.

Not only can memory encoding be faulty when distracted, it can also be wrong because of the brain’s tendency to fill in information missing from a memory. This is, more or less, similar to when one reads or watches something with a cliffhanger. One will typically speculate what happens after the fiction is cut off and, because of this, begin to believe that what they had come up with in their head is what actually happened after the cliff hanger. Yet again Lovecraft’s writing shows evidence of this claim. While running in the total darkness of the basement, de la Poer states “something bumped into me-something soft and plump. It must have been the rats; the vicious, gelatinous, ravenous army that feast on the dead and the living” (Hayden- MacNeil 88). This is just proof that, because de la Poer could not see what had bumped into him, his mind came up with a seemingly logical explanation as to what he touched. Also because of his preconception that the rats were present in the basement, that was what he believed touched him. This is yet another error in memory that proves the utter uncertainty of memory itself.

Memories can also be easily fabricated in cases where one does not remember what happened in a situation. For instance, if one is suffering some sort of amnesia, whether it be from a traumatic brain injury or simply from drinking too much, they will have no choice but to believe what they are being told about the events that culminated in the time they do not recall. Lovecraft shows evidence to this as well when de la Poer describes that “that is what they say I said when they found me in the darkness after three hours; found me crouching in the blackness over a plump, half-eaten body of Captain Norrys, with my own cat tearing at my throat” (Hayden-MacNeil 89). He does not remember the events himself but the memory was created through the fact that his mind was easy to manipulate since he had no recollection himself.

Another way in which memory can drastically fail is by a process called memory repression. A repressed memory is a memory of an experience in which one chooses not to remember as a form of coping. Although when one represses a memory, they “forget” whatever it is that happened, they do not truly loose that memory, but rather push it to the back of their mind so that they do not relive that specific memory. Despite not really loosing that memory, when asked about that experience, that person will have no recollection of the event ever taking place. Repressed memories are typically found in people who have experienced an extremely traumatic life incident such as childhood abuse, the loss of a loved one or witnessing the death of someone you know. Although there is no definition as to what the word “traumatic” means to everyone as a whole, it is clear that everyone has a mental breaking point. Once one hits this point, they can no longer process or fathom the situation at hand. 

This situation is seen in Lovecraft’s writing when de la Poer does not remember his three hours in the basement of the priory, nor does he remember what happened to his friend Norrys. De la Poer states that 

“When I speak of poor Norrys they accuse me of hideous things, but they must know that I did not do it. They must know that it was the rats; the slithering, scurrying rats who’s scampering will not let me sleep; the deamon rats that race behind the padding in this room and beckon me down to greater horrors than I have ever known” (Hayden-MacNeil 89).

 He simply believes that it was the rats that ate his friend, not himself in a fit of cannibalistic hunger. This all comes about due to de la Poer’s inability to understand the atrocities committed by his ancestors beneath the priory, which is his mental breaking point. Because of the atrocities then committed by de la Poer himself, he did not want to remember what he did to the man he called a friend, so he repressed that memory, along with all the details of what had exactly happened in the time he was in the basement. By repressing this memory, de la Poer is saving himself from the pain, grief and guilt that comes along as consequence for his actions

On another note, memory is uncontrollable. People generally believe that they can control what they remember and when. In reality, this is far from true. This is proved in Tobias Wolff’s A Bullet in the Brain. The situation that culminated in the essay leads to the protagonist seeing his memories flash before his eyes as he lives his last moments. Typically, one would believe that when it comes down to the last few moments of life, one can choose what it is they want to relive. Though it is comforting to think that one has that much control, memory and recollection are much more complicated than that. When it comes down to the wire, what one recalls is random.

This is proved when Anders has his flashback while being shot. He states that he did not remember his first lover, Sherry, or the birth of his daughter or witnessing a young woman jumping to her death from the apartment across from his (Wolff 205). These were the most important memories in his life yet when the end came he remembered the heat in a baseball field, yellow grass, the whirr of insects and leaning up against a tree as the neighborhood boys had a conversation about being short-stop (205). Anders did not choose to remember this simple memory from his childhood, but this is the thought his mind went to as he dies. His mind simply recalled a simpler, happier time in life when Anders was happy and generally care free.

As one can see, memory is a very subjective yet interesting topic to discuss. The interesting aspect of memory is not how it happens as a whole, but in how memory can go wrong and fails in so many ways. Those errors in memory really make one question whether or not they can trust their own memory. Memory truly is unreliable and unpredictable yet it is not generally thought to be so. This statement was strongly supported by the works Rats in the Walls and A Bullet in the Brain. In conclusion, memory is a very grey area in which there is not just one reason for a false memory, but infinite possibilities as to how a memory came to be incorrect.  The fact that memory is not set in stone or controllable is daunting and unnerving to even consider. 
