Tobias Wolff’s short story Bullet in the Brain, is about the main character being left alone in his final thoughts. This enforces the main idea of the text, that being some ones true self is revealed in his or her own true thoughts, even if they themselves try to run away from who they truly are. Anders takes for example he seems cool, calm, and collected on the outside. On the inside he does not truly express who or what he cares about. 

Wolff’s essay has two extremely important paragraphs that are about what Anders does not remember starting with this quote, “it is worth noting what Anders did not remember, given what he did remember” (Wolff 204). This quote is used to set up what the main character Anders will remember, and in turn set up what is most valuable to himself. If this quote was not hear it would be harder to understand what Wolff is trying to say, but because he is able to set the next two paragraphs up it helps to show the overall meaning of the text.

The first quote about Anders memory is about his wife “Anders did not remember his wife, whom he had also loved before exhausted him with his predictability” (Wolf 204). Obviously Anders loved his wife, but how much? Sure he might have told her you are the most important person or thing in my life, but did he really mean that? She wasn’t the last thought that went through his head and while yes Anders might have cared for his wife, Anders would put on a show. To make her think that she was his everything when in actuality she was not otherwise she would have been Anders last thought, which goes to show that Anders wife did not know who he was because she never was able to see his own true thoughts. Like another quote about Anders daughter, and a memory that he does not remember.

Another quote that reveals Anders true colors is the one about his daughter, “his daughter, now a sullen professor of economics at Dartmouth” (Wolff 204). This helps to slowly reveal what Anders truly cared for in life. Just because Anders last thought was not his wife does not mean it couldn’t be of his own flesh and blood. It shows that Anders has a daughter, and that she is an adult with a job, their would surly be a memory that Anders would have to remember her. Unfortunately no, Wolff is slowly showing the reader about what Anders does not care about in life to show what he did care about. The next quote about Anders daughter is “He did not remember standing just outside his daughter's door as she lectured her bear about his naughtiness and described the truly appalling punishments Paws would receive unless he changed his ways”(Wolff 204). Even when there is a cute moment that parent would say they would never forget, Anders did. This is an interesting way of getting the main purpose of his short story across, but I think it is overall more effective for Wolff to show some of what Anders doesn’t care about to show his true colors. Helping to reinforce the idea of one can never truly know who or what someone cares about until they are alone and if you could read someone’s thoughts. Another thing Anders might have remembered was a moment of joy liking enjoying something an old colleague had done.

Something else interesting is that Anders does not remember was enjoying a book and giving respect “He did not remember the surprise of seeing a college classmate's name on the jacket of a novel not long after they graduated, or the respect he had felt after reading the book. He did not remember the pleasure of giving respect.” (Wolff 205). This is a strange thing to stick out in the text for a character to show respect, until one thinks about when they give respect. Not just someone volunteered for a day at a homeless shelter respect, but actual respect, where the person does something so incredible you almost show admiration. Which is something that at first seems, insane especially if it is competing with Anders wife and daughter for the honor of being his last thought, then it starts to show Anders true colors. What he truly cares about, more than anything else, showing why for Anders it might not be as crazy for him not to remember his wife and child. Which has more people and memories competing for the spot than what anyone would ever imagine.

The final quote that is important is the one about Anders mother “Anders did not remember his dying mother saying of his father, "I should have stabbed him in his sleep”” (Wolff 204). One would surely think that someone’s final thought if not about themselves, or their spouse, or even their own flesh and blood that surely it would be about someone who Anders truly cares about, but no Anders final thought isn’t even about his own mother. This again is slowly showing not what Anders does care about but what he doesn’t care about. It is kind like when one is around friends, and everyone is talking about memories and someone says I forgot that happened, or oh I forgot about that. It is the same Idea, when someone is alone they do not care about the memories that other people remember, because deep down when alone those are not the things that stick out in ones mind. 

All of the memories that Anders did not remember could be argued that they are perfect moments. From giving a colleague respect to remembering something crazy his mom said Anders had these perfect moments. Moments that only Anders will really ever remember so they are special, and perfect in because they are so memorable no one could ever forget them, but he did. Which while crazy does help to show the authors purpose of being ones true self. Anders would not have been able to predict what he would have remembered, but what he did remember was an imperfect moment, which can show how the best moment of someone’s life, might not be the best defining moment in their life

It is this idea of creating a persona around other people so that they are happy because they do matter in ones life, just not as much as they wanted. This applies to Anders, imagine his wife’s reaction if she found out she wasn’t his final thought she would probably feel betrayed and hurt, but this is what knowing someone truly cares about. People will try to cover themselves up as someone else to other people to please them, but when alone someone’s true colors will show. While this is a depressing thought it is important for people to learn and realize when they are alone they will be their true self, which some people will like while others will dislike this idea.

Tobias Wolff is able to effectively show how to find out about someone’s true colors through the journey of one mans final thoughts. He did this effectively through out his entire story with two paragraphs that truly stand out, because of how much they reveal to the reader about Anders through his memories about his Mom, Daughter, Wife or Colleague, Wolff is able to show how memory, from some people can figure out who they, if they are alone in their own thoughts. Maybe not moments before death, but when one is alone and has no one to sway their thoughts or ideas, what one does not remember when alone is a lot more powerful than what one does remember when trying to reveal their true self.
