
During the nineteenth century, mental health and mental institutions were dissatisfactory and newly introduced in America. A majority of the mental institutions were grimy and didn’t provide proper care. The institutions were torture instead of therapeutic for the patients, causing some to slip further down into insanity. Introduce this term before utilizing it for your argument – part of this social issue is the arbitrariness of that word, so you need to account for that up front. Author Nelly Bly conveys this in her piece, “Ten Days in a Mad-House,” by putting herself inside of a mental institution. I would explain how she does this and why. Her first-hand view provides a new insight on the torture the women of these institutions face. Good.  I like the conciseness of your thesis. You might add Bly's intention of feigning "insanity" and why she does it (presumably to spark public knowledge of the injustices and the contradictory motive of the institutions). 

Nelly Bly was a writer in the nineteenth century who was held back because she was a female. Be more specific in terms of 'held back'. To break free of this barrier she had to produce something that no one else would ever imagine to do. For her it was to fake insanity and be placed into an insane asylum. By doing so she created a first-person view of the mental institution and the corrupt nature of it. I think the info up to here in this p. could be moved to the intro, in order to better identify the issue at stake and more thoroughly identify Bly as a writer/her intention. She experienced the abuse and torture of the patients. In Bly’s piece the reader can see that patients were assessed based off qualities irrelevant to mental health as well as treatments that were unnecessary for them.  good. When Bly went to speak to the so-called expert she was given a basic exam of her height, weight, age, and her eye color. From just this information and from observing her he concluded that she was indeed insane. No other tests or examinations were done. This paragraph would benefit from using a quote from the story for evidence.

Many mental institutions used water therapy for treatment of the insane as well as the one Bly was in. They were meant to be therapeutic by shocking the body and relieving any pain. However, many asylums would instead use it as a form of discipline. Leonard Smith explains that it was used to “punish inappropriate behavior, or to deter be inducing fear of the unpleasant consequences” (Smith 203). Many would force patients in regardless of what they needed for treatment and would do so consecutively. For some of the patients it would drive them further into insanity rather than helping to improve their mental health. In Bly’s case, they were forced to take cold baths and when they complained there was nothing that would be done about it. Many of the institutions in America were failing to give adequate treatments. Joseph Morrissey stated that “American psychiatrists had come under attack from their British counterparts” (Morrissey 18). British asylums were far more advanced than the American asylums. They had training that kept them from giving incorrect care and harming any of the patients by admitting them into the institution without proper tests. British institutions were more advanced in evaluating patients while the American institutions were new to the world of mental institutions during the nineteenth century and needed help improving from outside the United States. You can go further with this idea. You imply that more knowledge led to better conditions in UK, which means that lack of knowledge led to harsher conditions. There is a lot you can say about this that pertains directly to your thesis. 

During the nineteenth century, many asylums were looking to develop and reform, which   was also Nelly Bly’s goal. Good topic. She wanted to improve the quality of life for the patients who would be forced to live in the conditions for much longer. Bly wrote that “two months would make her a mental and physical wreck” (Bly 297). This was indeed happened to numerous patients that surrounded her. Being starved and beaten by the nurses surely did some physical harm to their bodies as well as to their mental health. She saw the filth of the rooms and conditions of the asylum. Not only was sanitation an issue but there was no heat and some of the patients were freezing and had almost no help when they asked for more blankets or coats. The goal of the reform was to improve all of it and to better the treatment options and how they selected the patients. This was not only an issue at the asylum that Bly was at but others as well. However, there were few that excelled and had no issues other than being bombarded with chronic cases rather than short term. Peter Tyor discussed how the older generation was replaced by a “nascent group of professional administrators” they were bringing in “the most troublesome cases” (Tyor 24). This could have been the cause of overcrowding within the asylums. With more and more patients being brought in that had to stay longer to improve, the less space there was available for other patients. They were soon forced to take theses troublesome cases and were no longer able to treat like they needed to. In doing so the patients were no longer receiving the necessary treatments to improve and were forced to stay. 

With Bly’s piece being from the first-hand, we know that it is very true to the asylum she went into. Bly’s piece is also relevant for other asylums as well because there is evidence of poor treatment and cleanliness at other asylums during the era. The same water therapy treatments were used all over the world by institutions and even though they meant good they were often twisted to harm the patients instead. Bly’s aim to reform the institutions was effective and she had the ability to improve the conditions and treatment of patients. How do you know this? While it wasn’t solely Bly’s work that revolutionized institutions, her contributions were a tremendous help in changing the way that they function. 
