On September 22, 1887, a well-respected woman, Elizabeth Cochrane Seaman, also known to readers as the famous Victorian journalist, Nellie Bly, emitted herself at the Women’s Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell’s Island and jotted down bits of her experience, later going on to write her novel, Ten Days in a Mad-House.  run-on; but good intro statement. The New York World company asked Bly to go undercover as an insane patient and describe the living conditions inside the asylum.  One of her greatest concerns was how to get admitted into the institution without her real identity being exposed.  When she arrived, she staged a mental breakdown, hoping to catch the attention of a nurse, and was then ultimately enrolled into the mental hospital.  As her time in the institution progressed, she realized the steep degree of darkness and emptiness I think you can be more specific here in adjectival usage, as to more effectively introduce the social issue  that resulted in those entering the psychiatric center against their will.  Even with her inner thought of release in the next couple of days, the realization of being considered “one of them” was enough to drive her insane.  Bly’s novel highlights the malevolence and degradation she faced while living in the asylum which conclusively brought public attention to the callous savagery she and many others endured.   Good thesis. Endured where and when? Even though you've introduced the topic, it is still good to state your thesis in detail of time/social issue since it acts as a frame of reference for the paper as it moves forward.  I also need to know where you got this information about Bly – it is not common knowledge and needs citation. 

Taken from a long list of witnessed events, Bly mentions the constant threats of physical abuse, instances of rape, the lack of acceptable living conditions, and the horrifying ambiance that resembles a Holocaust concentration camp rather than a rehabilitation center. where does she mention it? Where is this list taken from? I need a bit more context here.   She states how those visiting from the ‘real world’ viewed the hospital’s patients as invisible, faceless souls. Where does she state this? Citation? However, Bly plows through the misery and goes ahead with her plan; once she enters the asylum, her actuality specify this phrase immediately transforms into a nightmare.  Bly decided to drop the act and operate as usual, but to her surprise, the doctors saw very little difference between the two.  This factor forces readers to think that maybe every woman inside the madhouse, may not be mad at all, but instead ending up there on accident.  From the text, “Poor women, they had no hopes of a speedy delivery.  They were being driven to a prison, through no fault of their own, in all probability for life” (Bly 281).  In the scene described, Bly shows a sense of sympathy (empathy) towards her fellow inmates because unlike them, she was only here on a temporary visit.  After stepping off of the bus, she checked in with the doctors, or so called “experts”.  Bly made a strong effort to title her ninth chapter, “An Expert(?) at Work”, to highlight the mockery and lack of professionalism that resided within the madhouse.  Rather than focusing on healing the patients, the nurses and doctors solely worked to make their lives a living hell through nonstop torture and brutality.  A session of the savageries at hand appeared almost instantly, as Bly is yanked to her first supper in the mad-house.  The women waited in the great hallway for almost an hour and then were finally brought to a long, “uncovered and uninviting” table, running from one side of the room to the other.  They were served a hard piece of bread with spoiled butter, five prunes, and a light pink, unappetizing liquid referred to as “tea”.  Nonetheless, not even her growling stomach, resulting from her two previous days of starvation, or the rude nurse yelling at her to eat, was enough to to swallow the disgusting and inedible meal.  These recurring scenarios depict the unavoidable truth of abuse of power from the nurses versus the lack of power of the patients.  Instead of focusing on the horrifying cruelty she both observed and personally encountered, Bly decided to rise above and fixate her attention on those who avoided the poisonous environment that evolved everyone else into cryptic beasts.  She documented her experiences alongside of a great number of mental and psychological patients, while also exposing the harsh reality of the hazardous effects mental institutions have on their subjects.  though the topic sentence in this paragraph covers the entirety of this body paragraph, you'll want to find a way to break it into two paragraphs – it is too long. The content is well-written and analytical. I think you could frame these paragraphs in terms of introducing Bly's text, then moving into her description of harsh treatment (ie. 'expert' and 'supper') in P.2

Carla Yanni, author of “The Linear Plan for Insane Asylums in the United States before 1866”, focuses on the history and complexity of madhouses within the 19th century. Good topic, but you could add some sort of transitional phrase here to blend with the preceding paragraph. Why is introducing Yanni here important? You'll want to state this right off the bat.  As stated in the article, the towering structures of insane asylums were viewed completely normal when built around the edges of various American towns.  The doctors and staff members argued that over 80% of insanity cases were curable if treated in one of these imposing structures referred to as  psychiatric centers.  Yanni describes the architecture and physical structure of the madhouse in a harsh tone, using an extremely visual vocabulary, allowing readers to picture the buildings in their heads. Good.  She refers to the buildings themselves as a vital part of a patient’s healing process and truly believes that the structures can cure just about any lunatic brought in.  In the 19th century, the insane were viewed as those who lack a sense of faith and carry a possession by the devil.  according to Yanni? The insane were often compared with an old comic of a shivering man huddled against a crumbling wall, symbolizing the state of the mentally ill during times such as the Enlightenment.  Most patients were chained to walls and locked in unsanitary cages or thrown into holes in the ground.  These living conditions were even worse during the winter months because asylums failed to provide their patients with any form of warmth, whether that be a blanket, hot water, or any piece of clothing.  The insane were registered into asylums that encountered a main hallway lined with single apartments and enclosing the main building were high cement walls to keep the insane inside, and the sane out.  These once stately, taxpayer-funded buildings, now almost all viewed as decrepit, unkempt, and simply depressing, were once linked with a message of hope and civic spirit.  As conditions worsened, the Association of Medical Superintendents of American Institutions for the Insane (AMSAII),  began arguing for more psychiatric institutions due to the over-crowdedness and unkept facilities of nearby hospitals.  As these centers were expanded, people began to think that the newer and more orderly buildings promoted curing and health, meanwhile soothing the disorderly mind.  Despite their belief, the large hospitals had zero medical credibility; their remains are still accessible to this day for those believing in architectural curation for insanity to visit.  With this historical framework, readers learn that the horrid living conditions and heartless nursing staff did not do anything to improve the health and sanity of their patients.  It serves as a reminder that power is not assessed on level of authority, but instead the compassion and humanity portrayed in times of susceptibility.  again, watch your paragraph length. It is okay to have two sections on Yanni, but you will lose your reader if your paragraphs try to juggle too much info. Break them down into Yanni 1 and Yanni 2, more or less, with topic sentences addressing similar but divergent aspects of her article. 

Inside the walls of a mad-house, things happen that most people could only imagine in chilling, horror films; unfortunately, those strange actions occur should be past tense - 'occurred'  quite often in the Women’s Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell’s Island.  Part of each patient’s daily routine was the dreaded bath time.  The women were brought into a freezing, damp bathroom and forced to undress in front of one another.  When one refused to do as they were told, a handful of nurses would immediately rush over to harshly and unkindly rip every item of clothing off of the patient.  Shivering, Nellie Bly decided that she would hold her ground and deny taking off her last garment; fulfilling everyone’s expectations, the nurses argued against her and threw her into the filthy tub.  From the text, “The water was ice-cold, and I again began to protest.  How useless it all was.  I begged, at least, that the patients be made to go away, but was ordered to shut up” (Bly 286).  As expressed in her novel, Bly pointed out the combativeness of the crazy women who worked inside the asylum.  Whenever a patient would voice their opinion, or show any sign of concern and discomfort, whether it be regarding the disgusting meals or the dreaded baths, they were directly told to “shut up”.  After crawling out of the frigid tub, Bly caught a glimpse of herself in one of the old, rusty mirrors.  For once, she looked completely insane, as she slipped on her scratchy flannel night gown reading in huge dark letters: “Lunatic Asylum, B.I.H.6.”. Good. this is a successful and appropriately sized paragraph. 

Some nights while Bly lays restlessly in her cramped and dark cell, a troubled thought would enter her mind: the asylum was said to resemble a fire hazard that leads patients to their ghastly deaths should the building ever be set aflame.  Suddenly, this idea seemed certainly possible.  Each door in the madhouse locks and windows are heavily barricaded, cementing the patient’s stay and refusing any potential thought of escape.  Almost 300 women live in the one building, piled up ten per room, so should the building catch fire, the staff’s last thought would be setting the patients free.  As if this thought wasn’t enough to display the asylum’s abhorrence and absurdity, Bly went on to experience the actual “care” the patients received, including the hourly beatings, constant verbal abuse, and a long, heinous list of other various brutalities.  She goes on to mention what great lengths the staff went through in order to cover up all of the institution’s lack of hygiene and proper treatment in the presence of any government officials or family visitors.  For example, all women, including those with rashes and rare infections, were forced to dry off with the same ragged towel.  On bathing day, all 300 women were washed with the same tub of water that was used on the patients before.  The water begins to thicken and turn to a dark brown color, and then it is time to refill the tub without it even being cleaned off.  The cycle is continuous, and by the end, very few patients would be considered properly cleaned.  Also, the clothing they changed into after their baths has not been cleaned in weeks and reeks of old gym socks.  The only exception to donning these odorous gowns were when a visitor arrives in which they are brought a fresh dress, in order to keep the asylum’s appearance in a presentable state.  Those outside visitors who only experience freedom, rather than being caged like circus animals, could never truly picture the extended lengths of every day inside the madhouse.  They felt ceaseless and purposeless.  When thought over, Bly argued that the horrid treatment itself was enough to increase the so-called insanity the doctors saw in each woman in the asylum.  She believes that any one person, male or female, old or young, healthy or unhealthy, would go insanely mad if forced to shut their mouths all day every day, sit on straight-backed chairs while consuming sickening meals, provide zero form of education or physical activity, and consistently treated like a barbaric animal.

Blackwell’s Island Insane Asylum can be viewed as a “human rat-trap” (Yanni); easy to get in, but almost impossible to escape.   Elizabeth D. Ballard, author of article “Suicide in the Medical Setting”, highlights the current cultural issue of suicide ranking as the 11th leading death in the United States, but is considered rare among hospitalized mental patients. very good topic sentences!  There is very little information regarding suicide in the mental hospital setting, although it is a massive focus of concern.   Luckily, the proven rates of hospitalized suicides are substantially lower than those in a community-based setting.  Although rates are seen as low, medical setting suicides create considerable effect on hospital environments filled with a poorly trained staff population, this pointing fingers straight at the Women’s Lunatic Asylum.  Bly confesses to her undying hope of leaving the mad-house and be free in the world again; however, she stupidly felt egotistical for stranding the rest of the women in a state of such horrid displeasure.  She wished there was some way for them to join her in the path towards freedom alas.  Ten Days in a Madhouse captures the discomfort and depression brought on by the abusive power structures, who ought to have been healing patients rather than beating them down.  Nellie Bly conveys an over-arching theme of encouragement directed at her readers to bring attention towards injustice for those less fortunate and seek small forms of grace even amongst the cruelest of realities.
