

Why do we embrace the negative actions inflicted on us by our loved ones? In Theodore Roethke’s “My Papa’s Waltz”, the author compares a father’s violent abuse against his son to a dance. He may use this comparison because of how complex a waltz is, and this may be similar to the father’s complex relationship with his son and why he feels the need to abuse. It could also be ironic due to how graceful a waltz is and not meant to be painful in the slightest. There is a thought the boy in the poem could possibly be Theodore Roethke as a child. Roethke was only fifteen when his father died of cancer. He had very few memories with his father because of the short time he had with him. One of his most vivid and impactful memories was this waltz. After reading this poem, one may assess this in a negative tone. However, the boy in the story seems to love this waltz and is looking back on this as a positive memory. He reminisces on his childhood reliving this flashback with his father. The child looks past his father’s flaws and loves him dearly no matter what. This is a story of unconditional love, and how it could be made more complicated by abuse. 

A waltz is a dance where two partners turn rhythmically around and around, progressively moving about the dance floor. Roethke calls it a romp instead of a waltz, showing how ungraceful it is. The boy would get the rough end of the stick when it came to this aggressive dance, “At every step you missed / My right ear scraped a buckle” (Roethke 91). Whenever the father would mess up a step in the dance, the boy would pay for it with a painful “scrape”. The “whiskey” on the father’s breath and his clumsy demeanor indicate that alcohol contributes to the suggestion of abuse in the text. With alcoholism there is a tendency of outbursts of unpredictable rage and violence; this theme is set for the reader at the very beginning with the lines, “The whiskey on your breath/ Could make a small boy dizzy” (Roethke 90). Theodore Roethke had a conflicting relationship with his father in which love and fear were always present.

With love and fear being constantly present, this poem could be interpreted in two different ways. The reader may picture it as a father abusing his child, or a rough father having a late night romp with his son. These two readings coexist at the same time. The simultaneous existence of these two readings of the poem can make this unnervingly confusing. The boy in the poem may have confusion over his relationship with his father like the reader. This could cause the boy to feel unloved or lost. He may be constantly thinking of ways to make his relationship with his father improve, but there could be nothing the boy can do to make his father’s alcoholism better. 

With his father drunk, the waltz was extremely difficult which is presented in the lines, “But I hung on like death / Such waltzing wasn’t easy” (Roethke 90). The boy realizes that there is something very wrong with this waltz. The use of the word “death” brings a dark tone to an otherwise carefree dance. This is a very strong line because death is not something to take lightly. Death is inescapable and forever. The boy needed to hang on like death because his father was probably unsteady on his feet and swinging him around a tad too roughly. The boy getting hit with the belt buckle and lack of control of the dance makes it very challenging. The author could be explaining that not only the waltz is difficult but so is the entire relationship with the father and son. The father may work long days, so he would not have much free time to see his son. After a stressful day at work, the father could want to unwind and relax with a few drinks. However, his alcoholic tendencies lead him to drink too much which results in these somewhat twisted waltzes with his son. Although the boy is getting roughed up, he doesn’t look at this as a bad thing. The father shows his love differently than most and regardless of the dysfunctional relationship, the young boy loves his father greatly. It wasn’t easy for the son to partake in the waltz, but he was so intrigued by the fun he was having that he did not care. The boy is showing how he loves his father, no matter how bad his breath is, or how many times he gets struck on the ear, he will not let go. 

The reader’s mood through the poem changes from the beginning to the end. At first, the reader is a little distraught. A drunk father carelessly swinging his child around the kitchen, knocking off pans and hurting his son is not uplifting. Surprisingly, however, by the final stanza, the reader realizes that the boy almost refuses to let go. He does not want to go to bed. The young boy wants to stay with his father and continue to romp around the kitchen. Getting slightly banged up is a small price to pay for getting the chance to dance with his father for another few minutes. Similar to the mood, the author’s tone changes throughout the poem and in different stanzas there are distinct tones. The author wants to make it obvious that there are positive and negative behaviors. The story he is telling as a whole has a meaning only the author can truly know because he experienced it personally.

The author is writing this to express that if this poem is about abuse or a rough dance, the boy pushes through the pain to hold onto the father he loves. He could show the fear that is lurking beneath his skin, but instead embraces his father and refuses to let go. Some people show their love in different ways, and this rough waltz is one of those ways this father can connect with his son. The child is brave for not showing his fear, but he knows that there is a mutual love he and his father have for each other. Getting a buckle to the ear or smelling his father’s horrendous breath are miniscule consequences to the fantastic gift of being able to spend time with his papa.