
The first time reading this poem it is easy to buy into Roethke’s attempt to mask his real meaning behind his poem. While most readers of “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke have said it is a poem illustrating a father and son waltzing to bed, a close and careful reading depicts the son’s story of his abusive and neglectful relationship. 

To completely understand "My Papa's Waltz" you have to have some insight into Theodore Roethke's life. Like any young boy, Roethke idolized his father.  This poem is written about his father who tragically died of cancer when he was only fifteen years old. After his death, Roethke struggled with depression caused by losing his father at such a young age. It's also important to notice the time period this work was written in. In the early 1900’s depression wasn't recognized and treated as a mental illness like it is today, which is probably why Roethke was still struggling with his father’s death and memory even after twenty years.  It is evident to me that "My Papa's Waltz" was written as a way to express the emotions he felt from the loss of his father.

It is easy to read this poem and imagine a happy childhood memory of a father and son dancing through the house on the way to bed. Although, if you take a closer, you can see the hurt Roethke is hiding in his poem. What initially stood out to me that indicated there might be some deeper meaning to this poem was the first line, "the whisky on your breath could make a small boy dizzy" (Roethke 1). In the 1940’s, we know this line may have been bypassed without second thought. Department of Social Services was not going to take a child away for being intoxicated while they were supposed to be caring for a child. So if it was socially acceptable, why did he choose to disclose that his father was drinking? I saw this as a sly way for Roethke to show his father’s alcohol abuse. Roethke was not writing this poem reflecting on one night in his childhood, he is reflecting on childhood memories with his dad as a whole. Another aspect that stood out was the prominent use of abusive words such as romped, scraped, bartered, knuckle, beat, and held. This signified that alcohol was not the only thing his father was abusing. 

Roethke also hid his true meanings through the use of metaphors. In the first line, he described how the whisky on his dad’s breath made him dizzy. Whisky is a strong, dark liquor that symbolized the strong dark affect his father had on him. In the very next line he said, “But I hung on like death” (Roethke 3). This line could be a metaphor for many different things, but it showed that even through the abuse he still loved his father. Subsequently the use of the word death was not a coincidence, after all he wrote this poem after struggling with his father’s death for over twenty years. If you continue reading one of the most important metaphors is in the very next line “such waltzing was not easy” (Roethke 4). The waltz is a traditional fast, back and forth dance. He used the waltz to describe the abuse from his father as back and forth, and goes on to say how hard it was for him.

As you continue to read something interesting happens, Roethke mentions his mother “My mother’s countenance could not unfrown itself” (Roethke 7 & 8). This demonstrated how abuse was handled in the early 1900’s. He made it clear that his mother saw the abuse and while she did not approve, she did not say anything to stop it. When this piece was written men were seen as the dominate head of the house, which is a common stereotype even today. Abuse by dominate male figures was almost expected by women and children to some extent. Women were seen by society as weak and inferior to men. It was uncommon for women to speak out or report their husband for abuse. Unfortunately, this is still the case for many women even today which allows men to get away with abuse. This is why Roethke chose to express his story of childhood through this more indirect method of poetry. His poem is his medium to get his feelings out without blatantly accusing his father who abused him. Remember this was an era that did not discuss feelings, emotions and personal issues publically.  Although Roethke was abused and emotionally scarred by his father it was obvious that he loved his father deeply and this may have been his way of protecting him yet expressing his own pain.

As you continue closely reading, you see more lines depicting abuse. Roethke then begins to reveal his father’s absence, “At every step you missed” (Roethke 11), and goes onto show how his father would put the blame on him for his own mishaps, “My right ear scraped a buckle”. He specified his right ear to show his punishment and abuse while he did nothing wrong. Roethke then illustrated his father’s filthy hands “with a palm caked hard by dirt” (Roethke 14), quite literally mocking him and the common phrase “there’s no dirt on my hands” showing that all the dirt and/or guilt was in fact placed on him. Roethke then ends the poem showing no change had occurred in their relationship “Then waltzed me off to bed still clinging to your shirt” (Roethke 15& 16). His father was still an abusive deadbeat and Roethke still yearned for his love. 

Close reading of a piece of literature can completely change the meaning of any work.  At first glance you see “My Papa’s Waltz” as a cute childhood memory of a father and son waltzing to bed; but after reflecting on the poem, you realize Roethke’s poem has a much deeper, raw meaning. He was telling the heartbreaking story of his abusive childhood and an absentee father. 
