
Being lied to, cheated on, mistreated, or neglected. There are endless reasons to resent someone, but only two results. Either to live life always angry about the past, or to learn to forgive. In the poem, “forgiving my father” Lucille Clifton uses a variety of elements to develop the conclusion that bitterness keeps one stuck in the past and forgiveness is the only way to move on with life.

Constant bitterness eventually builds and forms into a deeply rooted grudge that interferes with everyday life. Clifton states, “all week you have stood in my dreams/ like a ghost, asking for more time”(525). This is just one of many times in the poem where Clifton chooses to use the word you when referring to her father. This word being used repeatedly makes it seem as if she is writing the poem to her dad. The word you in this context places blame and feels like an accusation due to the anger being directed at one singular person. This word choice reflects how Clifton’s resentment is aimed towards her father. On top of this, Clifton further uses diction to show the effect her dad is still having on her life. The word dream is normally thought of as positive images that one experiences when sleeping. However, at the same time dreams are hard to control and the person sleeping is stuck with the dream they get. Out of all the things Clifton could dream of, she dreams of her father. This shows that even when she is asleep she cannot escape him. She also compares her dad to a ghost. Typically, ghosts are seen as negative creatures that will not go away. This is a perfect analogy since he is still haunting her life. While he may not physically be there, he is still often on her mind. This causes a constant bitterness that remains within in her. Her anger towards her father has built into a grudge so deep that it haunts her day and night, not allowing her to move on with life. 

Along with this, resentment keeps one stuck in the past. Clifton writes, “never be time enough daddy daddy…”(525). She calls her father daddy in the poem, which at first glance shows innocence and youth. However, even though Clifton may have been a child when the whole situation happened, she is no longer a child anymore. The use of the word daddy in this case, shows a lack of maturity for not accepting what happened and moving on from it. To tie into this, every line in the poem starts with a lowercase letter. Not knowing better than to use capitalization is a children’s mistake. By Clifton deliberately choosing to write like a child, it reflects how she is reluctant to leave the past in the past. She has hated her father all her life and continues to. Her view of him has not changed since childhood. It has only grown into a bitterness she cannot let go of. She is does not want to forgive her father and this mindset keeps her stuck in the past.

Although it may be hard, there comes a point where it is better to move on. Clifton questions herself, “old dead man/ what am i doing here collecting?”(526) This is the first time she bluntly calls her father dead, which makes sense because up until now she has let the memory of him still affect her life. She had remained bitter towards him even though he was no longer a physical part of her life. He is literally dead and she slowly begins to realize he no longer should be impacting her life. This line finishes with a question mark which is key because throughout the entire poem only periods have been used to end sentences. Using a question mark clearly shows that this is the first time Clifton questions why she is still holding on. At this point, she realizes that nothing can be done about the situation now. It is useless to continue thinking about the past since nothing can be done to change what happened. The past is what it is and it is better for one’s mental health to just accept it. There is no reason to allow the past to ruin the future.

By realizing there is no point in holding on to the past, one is able to start forgiving which is the first step to moving on. In the beginning of the poem, Clifton refers to her dad as “old lecher old liar”(525). This is an extremely negative tone to use to describe someone, especially her own father. As the poem goes on the same negative and accusatory tone remains, yet the mood shifts and becomes more forgiving. Clifton later goes on to say, “you have already given her/ all you had”(525). She is still referring to her father as you, but it is less of an attack now than compared to the beginning of the poem. The reason this time the use of the word you is less harsh than when it was used before, is because now Clifton is making an attempt to understand her father. She is able to see that he did all he could. She understands the situation better and can finally begin to forgive him. Clifton having forgiveness for her father is what allows her to let go of the bitterness that kept her tied down to the past, and at last move forward with her life.

Throughout forgiving my father, Clifton struggles with a deep resentment towards her father which keeps her stuck in the past. Her father had tried his best and although his best was not good enough, Clifton is able to start forgiving him and accepting the situation was bad, not necessarily her father. Having a more mature understanding of a given situation paired with realizing clinging to the past is useless, allows for one to finally forgive. Forgiveness keeps resentment in the past and is the only way to move forward with life.
