
A father can be a very influential figure it a young person’s life. In “Forgiving my Father” and “Those Winter Sundays” by Lucille Clifton and Robert Hayden we see that there are two ways that a father can be influential. These two poems both discuss their father figure and what he has been to them in their young adult life. A comparison of these two poems can shed light on both the lack of understanding the speakers had for their fathers when they were young and on the new insights they have gained into their fathers' mistakes and misfortunes.

Both of these poems talk about their father’s tendencies and the impact they had in their lives. Clifton and Hayden both reflect on their father in the same childlike, story teller way. Both of the poems discuss how their fathers impacted their lives when they were children. The poems follow their fathers, one through the disappointment they created in their daughter, and the other the regret they instilled in their son. Clifton says her dad “all week [has] stood in [her] dreams” and Hayden similarly writes that “slowly [he] would rise and dress”. Both talk about their sleepy childhood memories of their father. Not only do both poems talk about their fathers, they are both reflecting back as adults onto their childhood. They both seem to have had a similar relationship with their fathers when they were young. Hayden and Clifton both reflect on some bad memories of their fathers. Now that they are adults, they can better understand the things their fathers did and they decide how they feel about their relationship with their fathers. Clifton looks back and notices how her mother struggled because her father did not provide for them the way he should have. This insight is something that Clifton maybe did not notice as a child, but is resenting as she becomes an adult. On the other hand, Hayden notices all the little things his father did for him and how much he took for granted what his father did for him. 

In “Forgiving my Father”, Clifton reflects sadly on her past and her father. Clifton calls her father an “old lecher” and an “old liar” (9-10). Clifton may not have realized how much she did not appreciate what her father did and did not do, but now she feels very strongly about the mistakes that her father made. Although “a central focus of Clifton's work across the span of her career was the Bible and the narratives it contains”, Clifton writes this poem about her personal life (Brassaw). The beginning of Clifton’s pieces that included her personal life started after “the death of Clifton's father in 1969” and “the death of her husband” (Brassaw). Clifton talks a lot about how she felt about her mother and father’s relationship in her poem. Clifton also says that she wishes he “were rich so [she] could take it all” (11). “She” being her mother, and Clifton wishing he would pass away so he could leave behind everything her and her mother deserved from him. We understand that she feels that her father did not provide very well for her mother and she resents that about him. Clifton thinks her father and her mother “were each other’s old bargain, not [hers]”. Here she is saying that their problems should not have been a burden on her. She resents her father for creating problems within her family that resulted in her childhood becoming consumed with their burdens. Clifton shows one way to reflect on a childhood relationship with a father. After growing up and better understanding what her father did, she is turning her understanding into resentment for what had happened, and sadness for what could have happened if she had a better relationship with her father.

Oppositely in “Those Winter Sundays”, Hayden talks about how he regrets not being thankful for his father when he was young. Not only is the context different than Clifton’s poem, Hayden’s poem is speaking about his father, whereas Clifton’s poem is speaking to her father. Hayden is writing to appreciate his father, not directly to him. He looks back remembering his father would “get up early” every day to provide for his family (1). His father did so much for him and “no one ever thanked him” for the sacrifices he made (Hayden, 5). From a place of regret, Hayden says that he was “speaking indifferently to him” when he interacted with him (10). Hayden also says his father “polished [his] good shoes as well” (12). Hayden lists things that his father did and how all his father got in return was an indifferent conversation with his son. At the very end of the poem Hayden seems to have more and more regret, asking “what did I know?” (13). Paul Novak has written a piece describing “Those Winter Sundays”, and the realization Hayden has. Novak describes this poem about a father “misunderstood in childhood” and how Hayden “understood too late”. This poem highlights that trying to appreciate parents when you are a child is hard to do but you will regret it and reflect on it when you get older. 

These two poems do have similar writing style, but different stories. By putting these poems in conversation with each other, we can better understand the opposite emotions they convey towards their father. One poem is regretful, while the other is spiteful. Hayden and Clifton may both be talking about their fathers, but their stories are very different. The subject of the audience for each poem is very important to their meaning. The more regretful one is talking about his father and want it to be a public piece for everyone to learn from, whereas the poem Clifton writes to her father is hateful and meant to create the emotion of regret in him for what he has done to her.
