Family issues are something the affect almost every single person as they grow up. While the roots of these issues may differ, they often leave lasting effects on many children as they grow old. However, as people grow older, they begin to discover things that may not have been so obvious to them when they were children. This idea is illustrated in both poems, “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden and “forgiving my father” by Lucille Clifton. In both poems the speakers externally experience differing family situations. But, internally both speakers begin the poems having uneasy feelings toward their fathers. Throughout both poems the speakers describe their relationship with their fathers and the circumstances that have led them to feel the way they do. Nevertheless, both speakers ultimately come to a realization at the end of the poem and begin to look at their fathers in a different light. Through their word choice the characterization of both the fathers, the two authors are able to show a shift in the speaker’s emotion from the beginning to the end of the poems. 

By characterizing both the fathers in a certain way, the authors show how the fathers and their actions have affected both speakers. In “Those Winter Sundays” the father is immediately introduced as a very hardworking, stern man. His hands are cracked and ached from the manual labor that he did during the week, however, he still woke up very early each Sunday to start a fire so that the house would be warm by the time everyone else in the family woke up. While it is not obvious what exactly was occurring in the home, the speaker describes his father in a while that shows he is a bit uncomfortable and frightened of his father. He describes those Sundays in which his father would get up early to start a fire by saying, “and slowly I would rise and dress, fearing the chronic angers of that house” (Hayden 524). While the reader cannot be certain what those chronic angers were, one can conclude that they must have something to do with the speaker’s father. This is further proven when the speaker recalls that him and his father spoke indifferently. The sort of feelings that this speaker has toward his father in this poem, does not really compare to the very harsh feelings that the speaker initially has toward her father in “forgiving my father”. Unlike the hardworking father in the first poem, the father in this poem is described to be lazy and a liar. The speaker introduces her father by recalling that every Friday he was supposed to pay her mother, however, he could never fully come up with the money. Further into the poem, the reader is able to realize that both of the speaker’s parents are dead and that she is ultimately left to deal with all of the unresolved issues and anger she has against her dead father. It becomes apparent that the father did not support the family financially or emotionally and the speaker is stuck between her parents and their issues. However, it is obvious that the speaker takes the side of her mother and believes that even though they are both dead, the father still owes something to her mother. 

While both speakers in each poem have issues within their relationships with their fathers, these issues differ and are rooted in two completely different matters. The speaker of “Those Winter Sundays” seems to be very uncomfortable around his father but does not express what exactly his father has done to make him feel this way. In line four of the poem, the speaker describes how his father works during the weekdays to provide for his family. Perhaps the root of the issues within their relationship is that because the father is working all the time, he did not put in the necessary effort to be involved in his son’s life. Rob Palkovitz, the author of “Challenges to Modeling Dynamics in Developing a Developmental Understanding of Father-Child Relationships”, believes that paternal involvement in their child’s life is very important for the relationship between the two. He even states, “The level of father involvement is related to developmental outcomes, and have elaborated different models and moderating effects when looking at men’s adult development” (Palkovitz 192). He also explains that positive paternal engagement, good fathering, and positive father involvement can ultimately predict variability in child development outcomes and outcomes in the relationship between father and child (194). So, with this in mind, the reader can come to the conclusion that the issues between the speaker of “Those Winter Sundays” lacked the paternal involvement that he needed in order to create and sustain a healthy relationship with his father, because of his father’s constant work schedule. Conversely, in “forgiving my father” the speaker struggles to forgive her father because of his failure to support his family financially and emotionally. In an article describing the effects of economic stress on families, the authors tell of how financial issues can greatly affect their relationships with their children. The article even reports the results from a national study that examined relationships of unmarried couples, saying, “the negative influence of parenting stress on father engagement and co-parental relationship supportiveness was moderated by economic hardship” (Assari, Caldwell, Hunt). This is very apparent with in the text because the father did not have a good relationship with the speaker’s mother and the speaker did not allow him to be engaged in her life because of his lack of financial responsibility. The article also discusses how fathers are likely to follow in the footsteps of their own father’s behaviors when it comes to parenting. This is also relevant because in the poem the speaker recalls that her father’s father was also a needy man. 

Both the diction and characterization in both of the poems change toward the end of each, showing a shift in the thoughts of the speakers. At the beginning of “Those Winter Sundays”, the author uses very harsh words when describing the father and their home. However, by the end of the poem, words like “blueblack cold”, “cracked”, and “splintering” shift to softer words like “good” and “love”. This shift in diction aids in the change of feelings that the speaker experiences toward his father. In the beginning of the poem the speaker recalls being uncomfortable around his father as a child. Conversely, as the speaker looks back on his situation from an older, more mature perspective, he begins to realize how selfless and loving his father truly was. Despite having to work very hard throughout the week to provide for his family, the father still gets up in the harsh cold weather on Sundays to make sure that they do not have to feel that same intense cold. The father even polishes the speaker’s good shoes. He does both of these things without any recognition or thanks from anyone in his family, but he does not mind because these actions are his way of showing his love for them. The speaker concludes the poem by wishing he could have recognized these acts of love when he was a child, and given his father the thanks he truly deserved. The shift in emotion in “forgiving my father” is not as drastic, however it is very apparent towards the end of the poem. Words having to do with money like, “bills”, “payday”, and “rich” crowd the first page of the poem. However, these kind of words begin to slowly disappear as the speaker begins to realize that she and her mother will never receive the money that they think they deserve. Looking back through an older and more mature perspective she begins to realize that maybe it was not her father’s fault that he could not provide for his family. She even states, “you gave her all you had which was nothing” (Clifton 525). At the very end the poem she finally comes to the conclusion that there is no point in digging up the past and holding so much anger toward someone that is dead and cannot give her what she wants or needs. 

Both poems describe the rough relationships between a father and his child. However, the poems contrast because the unhealthy relationships between each pair of father and child are rooted in different issues. In “Those Winter Sundays” the child is uncomfortable around his father because he is constantly working in a laboring job, and does not have the time to give his son the attention he needs and deserves in order for their relationship to be healthy. In “forgiving my father” the speaker has a lot built up anger against her father because of his failure to provide financially and emotionally for her and her mother when she was a child. While both children externally experience differing situations, internally they both experience a shift in beliefs regarding their fathers toward the end of the poem. The son in “Those Winter Sundays” is ultimately able to look back and recognize the many selfless things that his father did for his family out of love. The daughter in “forgiving my father” also comes to the conclusion that it is not worth it to hold so much built up anger and hate for her father when he is now dead and unable to give her what she wants. Looking back on the issues that occurred when they were younger, both children learn to recognize something they previously did not consider. 