When we hear the word “forgive”, we can automatically assume that it is letting go of a grudge or making amends with someone who has done you wrong in the past. The act of forgiving usually centers around peace, however, forgiving my father, by Lucille Clifton, shows us the exact opposite approach on forgiveness. The poem portrays the resentment a teenage girl has towards her parents, especially her father. The reader sees the hurt and detachment of a girl raised in an angry marriage triggered by the father’s financial and emotional neglect. As readers, we can see through her eyes, and hear her frustration, as she speaks about her father’s inability to provide for her mother and herself. We can sense through the authors tone and words the young woman’s hurt from the grudges she holds. Clifton demonstrates the emotional detachment this girl has with her parents and her maturity and awareness of their financial situation. These things ultimately give an explanation to why the girl is resistant to forgive. 

One of the main reasons the girl has resentment towards her parents is that she is a witness of their broken marriage. When the girl speaks of her parents damaged marriage she says, “you were each other’s bad bargain, not mine” (Clifton, 19). This shows that she feels like she was put in the middle of a broken marriage that she did not sign up for. When she compares their relationship to a “bad bargain”, it symbolizes that they most likely got married on a risk that failed. When she points out that she was not a decision maker in the bargain, she is expressing her resentment of being thrown in the middle of their fighting and brokenness. This is significant because a failed marriage is part of the reason for her cynicism towards her parents. Growing up in an unstable and neglectful household causes the girl to be unfamiliar and disconnected with her parents.  Clifton says “i wish you were rich so i could take it all and give the lady what she was due” (10). This shows that she has more sympathy for her mother. Although her mother is dead,  she recognizes that the father owed them both emotionally and in monetary debt. She blames the dad for not providing and taking care of her mother when she was alive. Even though the girl has some type of siding with her mother, she still has disconnectedness with her. Instead of calling her something endearing like “mom, mommy, or mother”, she refers to her mom as “the lady”. Also, instead of calling her dad “dad, daddy, or father”, she calls him things like “old man, old lecher, and old liar”. Through this language the reader sees the denial and disbelief that these two individuals are her parents. She refuses to give them credit for being parents because she feels like they never took care of her. Clifton also shows the girls resentment when she says “there will never be enough time daddy daddy old lecher old liar” (8). She does use the name daddy, but repeats it twice in a mocking tone, followed by the detached phrases old lecher and old liar. Her voice is condescending when she mocks her father. Clifton shows that her rage stems from the knowledge that he would never have enough time to not only make a comeback financially, but to win the love back of his daughter or his dead wife. 

Part of the hurt she feels towards her father is stemmed from his inability to provide financially for his family. The poem begins with “it is friday. we have come to the paying of the bills” (Clifton, 1). Before anything is revealed, it is clear to the reader that this girl is aware of their financial responsibilities. It is followed with, “all week you have stood in my dreams like a ghost, asking for more time but today is payday” (Clifton, 3). It seems odd that the father pleads to his daughter for more time to make the bills. This shows that she is the one who is consistently nagging him about paying the bills and keeping track of his money. Their roles as child and parent are reversed. He stands to her like a ghost in her dreams, meaning, when she lies in bed at night, the bills and her father are what she thinks about. He is a ghost because he is haunting her all week, causing her stress and anxiety. She knew all week that he was going to have excuses. Her tone is fed up as she makes it clear that there is no more time for him to put back his responsibilities. “You are the pocket that was going to open and come up empty any friday” (Clifton, 17). She seems disappointed but mostly unsurprised. The girl says that he was going to come up empty, this is completely sure that he will not pull through with the money when Friday comes. She is accustomed to his repetitive financial irresponsibility. This explains why her tone is so angry and hurt throughout the poem. Her anger is really just frustration of a weekly routine of missing bills, disappointment, and stress. This level of anger is an explanation to why forgiveness could not be possible for her. 

With attention to the title of forgiving my father, the girl struggles with the actual act of forgiveness and letting go of a grudge. Her constant frustrated tone and repetitive insults towards him shows her resistance to forgive. Towards the end of the poem, the girl asks “what am i doing here collecting?” (Clifton, 21). This represents her realization to separate herself from her home situation. Instead of using the word “you”, ranting to her father, she turns the table on herself. She asks herself why she is attempting to collect from someone who was never able to provide. Her decision on whether or not to forgive is clear when Clifton says “you lie side by side in debtors' boxes and no accounting will open them up” (22). It represents hopelessness because no accounting could pay for what he owes to his creditor financially. More importantly, it shows that no accounting could make up for what he owes his daughter. This is significant because it shows her ultimate decision to not forgive him. The readers see this because her words in the end showed no sympathy but instead disgust and final detachment. 

Altogether, forgiving my father shows the readers the perspective of a teenage girl who struggles with forgiving her neglectful father. Through the text it is shown that her dad fails to provide financially or emotionally for his wife and daughter. He also puts her in the middle of a broken marriage. This ultimately causes the girls emotional detachment with her parents. Towards the end of the poem, her resentment is obvious and is shown through the text when she finally decides to hold onto her anger and not forgive her father. 

 