

After reading the two texts “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke and “Forgiving My Father” by Lucille Clifton, there are both similarities and differences between the two texts that help the reader better understand the texts.  The relationship between the two texts help the reader understand the different effects an abusive parent has on a child.  Many children react to an abusive parent in different ways and reading the two texts together helps the reader understand those ways.  

In both poems the narrator is dealing with a physically and mentally abusive father.  Both fathers are not the ideal fathers and it is strongly affecting the children’s lives.  Both fathers, although it does not clearly say this in Clifton’s poem, are presumably drinkers.  In Roethke’s poem the father is drunkenly coming home and attempting to put the child to bed but is too drunk and ends up stumbling around which is the “waltz”.  In Clifton’s poem the father is too late to pay his bills every week so the reader can interpret that he has an alcohol problem or something along those lines that he is spending his money on.  Another similarity between the two is the effect the father has on the mother.  The father in both poems cause great stress and unhappiness on the mother.  In Roethke’s poem the father is the cause of the mother’s countenance that he describes as not being able to undo.  In Clifton’s poem she explains on payday her “mother’s hands open in her early grave” (Clifton 2).  The narrator’s mother died at a young age and the reader can sense it had to do with the father’s behavior.  Both fathers have a negative effect on the mothers and the narrator recognizes this and sees it as yet another thing the father ruins.   Taking a look at the titles of the two poems gives a sense of happiness which is another similarity. “My Papa’s Waltz” seems like a happy memory with a father or a grandfather.  A waltz is a beautiful and eloquent dance that is hardly ever connected to something negative but rather connected to a graceful and delicate moment in time.  “Forgiving My Father” also seems on the happier side as forgiveness is the key to a fresh and happy start.  One would think the poem would be about the time when one came to forgive their father thus giving a happy ending but when they read the poem it is not that way.  Both titles lead the reader to believe the poem will be somewhat pleasant and happy however both titles are misleading and stand for something distressing and negative. 

It is the differences within the poems that help the reader understand the different ways an abusive parent effects a child.  Something different about these poems would be the overall tone of the poem.  Roethke’s tone is quite relaxing in a way although what he is describing is far from peaceful.  The way the narrator describes the actions of his father is what makes it relaxing.  A line like “The whiskey on your breath/ Could make a small boy dizzy” (Roethke 1) should be described as more negative as it is describing just how drunk the father is.  Yet when the reader reads this line it does not initially alarm them mainly because he does not use harsh words to describe the harsh actions.  Clifton’s tone is very different from Roethke’s and it brings a different experience to reading the poem.  From the first line you can feel the sadness and hopelessness.  Once again, the father is not doing his duty of raising a child but instead focusing on himself and spending all the money on himself.  The tone then changes to anger and a sense of hatred when reading the line “never be enough time daddy daddy old lecher/ old liar. i wish you were rich so i could take it all” (Lines 9 and 10, Clifton).  The reader can feel the hate when reading this line and the blame the narrator places on the father.

After reading these two poems the reader gets a sense of the differing effects of having an abusive parent.  Most people assume that a child with an abusive parent hates the parent and do not understand how a child could still love their abusive parent.  When a child grows up from the start with an abusive parent, one who drinks too much and causes problems in the household, it is all they are used to.  They have never been in a household where both parents get along and put the children first.  If having an abusive parent is all they have ever known they may not have as much hate towards them.  Growing up this way has effects on the child and if the child is young enough they do not understand it.  They can begin to think it is their fault the parents are abusive and drinking too heavily.  They long for their parent’s approval and try to avoid causing any more problems.  Like the narrator in Roethke’s poem, the child will walk on eggshells around the parent and long for their love.  In this poem after the father roughly dragged the narrator to bed, reeking of alcohol and pulling the narrator with beaten up hands, the child is “still clinging to your shirt” (Roethke 2).  The child loves his father and longs for his father’s love and attention, not caring if he is drunk or abusive.  

Reading Clifton’s poem the reader sees the opposing effects an abusive parent has on a child.  Like most people would assume, the abusive father caused hatred and a miserable life for the narrator.  The narrator is not blaming them self in this poem but instead puts the blame all on the father.  The abuse and selfishness of the father sparks hatred in the narrator towards to the father.  Some children grow to loathe their abusive parent and realize how unfair it is to them to be treated in such a way.  They see how selfish the parent is and how greatly they have negatively affected their lives forever.  They blame the parent for standing in the way of everything they have ever wanted.  

Reading both poems together really gives the reader a sense of the differing effects an abusive parent has on a child.  Before reading both poems it is easy for the reader to assume that children automatically hate or begin to hate their abusive parents.  However, after reading both texts the reader has a better understanding of the different responses of children to the parent.  Some react by blaming themselves and still longing for the parent’s love and affection.  Others react by blaming the parents for ruining their lives and begin to have hate towards the parent.  It all depends on the person and the different experiences they have had.  Every person reacts to these hardships differently and it is important to understand that.  The relationship between these two poems are very similar in a sense, but help the reader understand the different types of emotions and feelings having an abusive parent create.       