

Family is an extremely imperative aspect in all eras of history and the modern world. The role of a mother and a father holds a great significance in each and every one of our lives. They are our caretakers, our first teachers, and are supposed to be the two sole people who love us more than anyone will. Unfortunately, however, that is not always the case for some children. It is often said that the state of our childhoods have a huge impact on the outcomes of our later years. For example, a child who is abused by his or her parents may become people of an abusive nature themselves, or perhaps they might develop the habit of being overly paranoid and untrusting of everyone around them. These children may also develop a strong sense of resentment towards their parents, such as in the poem “Forgiving My Father”, by Lucille Clifton.  

Throughout the poem, readers can clearly detect the angry and hateful tone the speaker feels towards her father. She repeatedly uses insulting words such as “lecher” and “liar” to describe him, like when she says, “there is no more time for you. there will never be time enough daddy daddy old lecher old liar” (Clifton 8-10).  Such insults intensify the negative tone of the poem and show the readers that the speaker’s father has clearly let down his family on more than one occasion. This poem also has an underlying sense of irony by indicating that even though the title is about forgiving her father, it seems that she has no intention of doing so. 

 The style of writing in this poem is seen to be quite peculiar because all of the words are typed in lower case letters. The author does not openly express her reason for doing so, however, these intended grammatical errors may hold some kind of underlying symbolism for the speaker. Due to the fact that she is reminiscing about her past throughout the poem, the lower case letters may stand for the diminishing of her childhood innocence because of all the hardship, such as poverty, hunger, disappointment, and emotional distress her father has put her through. 

Readers can see that the main focus of the poem is the frustration the speaker has over the financial situation her father has left her in. She states, “all week you have stood in my dreams like a ghost, asking for more time but today is payday, payday old man” (Clifton 3-5). Her words imply that her family may have faced poverty, due to her father’s failure to pay the bills. This causes readers to wonder why the father could not provide for his wife and child. Perhaps he had a gambling addiction and gambled away all of their money, or perhaps he abused substances such as alcohol or drugs. Due to these unfortunate circumstances, we can also consider the possibility that the family is heavily in debt, especially when the speaker says, “you lie side by side in debtors’ boxes and no accounting will open them up” (Clifton 22-23). 

With this being said, readers can infer that the possibility of debt must intensify the hatred she feels towards her father. Being placed in debt is a highly stressful situation and can cause many other negative outcomes if the person is unable to pay it off. Cases of homicide, suicide, divorce, and depression are known results of heavy debt. Perhaps the speaker is facing her father’s debt alone, which causes her to reflect upon her hatred towards him. 

Another aspect that is repeatedly expressed in the poem is the marriage of the speaker’s parents. She first mentions her mother by saying, “my mother’s hand opens in her early grave and I hold it out like a good daughter” (Clifton 6-7). This line of the poem indicates that her mother has also faced the stress of poverty and possible debt that has been placed upon her by her husband, and in result, it has sent her to an early grave. The readers can tell that the speaker is also angry at her father for what he has put her mother through. When she states, “i wish you were rich so I could take it all and give the lady what she was due” (Clifton 10-11), we can see that the speaker wishes to give back to her mother because she feels that they have both suffered enough for what her father has put them through. 

However, with this being said, although she seems to care for her mother, it seems as if she is also frustrated with her for staying married to her father when she says, “you are the pocket that was going to open and come up empty any friday. you were each other’s bad bargain, not mine” (Clifton 17-20). We can infer by these lines that the speaker believes that her mother and father almost deserved one another when she calls them each other’s “bad bargain”. The point of her hatred also shifts because instead of addressing her father solely, she is also directly addressing her mother. Often times, children who come from parents with problematic marriages blame themselves and believe themselves to be the source of their mother and father’s conflict. Although her parent’s marriage does seem to have a negative effect on her, the readers can see that she does not see herself as the blame.   

The end of the poem indicates that the speaker still has not forgiven her father, despite it being the focus of the title. Readers can infer that the mistakes her father has made has weighed a heavy toll on her life and will probably continue to do so for a long while. Often times, it is very difficult to pardon someone who has put us through pain, hardship, and stress, especially if it has been inflicted by a person who is considered very close to us. With this being said, the saying “blood is thicker than water” will never fall short, nor be proven wrong, because the actions of our parents will always have a big effect on us. No matter what age we are, or where we end up in life, we know that they are the foundation of our existence. 