One of the most pivotal moments in American history was the Vietnam War. This war led to changes in the government, the way war was fought, and even the image of war itself. However, Vietnam had other far-reaching consequences that people do not think about. Vietnam was a turning point in the raising of children, because the generation that experienced Vietnam were the first generations to believe that children, and even teenagers, could not, and should not, be held to the same expectations as full grown men. The reason for changing how children were raised was because the generations in Vietnam could not handle the expectations that society had given them. This is shown through the way characters in The Things They Carried and The Clearing were not able to handle the expectations of killing without remorse, conquering their fears, and losing their innocence. Thus, when the veterans returned home and had children, they wanted to make sure that the expectations that the veterans had to live up to were not the same as the ones their children will grow up with. 

When it comes to war, the initial thought in a person's mind is about a soldier killing an enemy, and then living to fight and kill another day. However, this puts the expectation onto soldiers that they have to be able to kill without remorse, which is shown through the way that soldiers are constantly told that if they feel bad then they are weak and unworthy of the brotherhood they share with other soldiers. Some people would say that soldiers should not feel any remorse at all because they are killing the enemy, but when analyzing The Things They Carried and The Clearing, comrades all die the same way. In The Things They Carried, Ted Lavender was killed while walking back from going to a bathroom, which shows how suddenly and unfair his death was. Also, the deaths of most of the main character's squad in The Clearing also happened in the same way, from an ambush out of nowhere. This shows how no matter whom a person is; they can be killed the same way as every other person. Once this is noticed by a soldier it is almost impossible for them to kill again, because they have experienced what it is like to have someone taken from them and the last thing that soldier would want to do is take a person from someone else. These difficulties will make veterans of Vietnam want to comfort their children and raise them differently. Instead of telling their children that it is expected they are able to kill without feeling anything, they would instead be told that it is okay to feel sadness and will be helped through any post traumatic stress. This is because a soldier from Vietnam will recognize how difficult it is to live up to the expectation of being able to kill without remorse, and will want to teach his children that expectations like that are not just improbable to live up to, but impossible to live up to. 

Another expectation that soldiers had to deal with in Vietnam was the idea that they were not allowed to show any fear at any time. Just think about how impossible that idea is. Men are told from when they are first born to not fear anything, and that expectation is pushed even deeper into the minds of soldiers. However, there is no way that a person is able to escape the fear created from a war like the one in Vietnam. This is because Vietnam was the first war that Americans were involved in where it did not matter where or when a person was, because they were still risking death at every moment. That is the worst type of fear because it is inescapable. Living with that type of fear will make a veteran want to allow fear into their children, because the veteran would want their children to know that it is okay to be afraid. This is because not only did soldiers have to deal with the fear of being killed at any moment in time, but they were also scared of being scared. In The Things They Carry, Tim O'Brien writes, "They were afraid of dying, but they were even more afraid to show it". This is an example that shows how the worst fear a soldier faced was not of death from his enemy, or even death in general, but they were mostly afraid of showing that they were afraid. This is a problem because this extra fear creates such a heavy load for soldiers to carry that they have to turn to distractions such as food, in the case of Henry Dobbins, drugs for Lavender, and love for Jimmy Cross. The only reason that these distractions were turned to was because the soldiers felt as though they could not show fear at any price. Therefore, a veteran from Vietnam would want his children to know that showing fear is okay, and a person should never have to resort to distractions to try and hide the fear from others. 

The next expectation that Vietnam soldiers had to try and live up to was the idea of losing their innocence to become a man. This was considered a necessity to ensure survival, and even then the chances of surviving then were not great. The idea of having to abandon innocence is shown in The Clearing, when the main character was forced to realize that the way he perceived the world when he was younger was incorrect and was actually hindering his ability to survive. This was emphasized in The Clearing by having the main character survive the ambush that occurred shortly after his loss of innocence, and then it was written in a way that made it seem as if he would not have survived if he had not forsaken his innocence. This is shown through the way that another soldier in his unit who had not lost his innocence was the first to die during the attack, and because the main character was sitting so close to him it made it seem that if he had not lost his innocence then he would have been the first soldier to die in the ambush instead. The lieutenant of his unit telling the main character to abandon his innocence, which was done by the lieutenant telling the main character to "Save your life", saved him from immediate death. However, the life of the main character after he loses his innocence is not a life that he wants. He was taken from his family without choice, was forced to fight without choice, and lastly was forced to abandon his own country without choice. This would change the way a person would raise their children because a veteran would want his children to be able to keep their innocence for as long as possible, and therefore be able to control their own life choices for as long as possible. This is also shown in The Clearing because the whole story was a letter written to the main character's child, telling him that he needs to keep his innocence. This proves that after having lived up to the expectation of losing his innocence to become a man he would want to raise his children differently, because that is exactly what was revealed to happen at the end of The Clearing. That makes The Clearing a great example to prove that the generations of Vietnam wanted to raise their children in a different way from how they were raised. 

These examples all show the the unrealistic expectations that soldiers had to strive to achieve during Vietnam led to a change in the upbringing of children when veterans of Vietnam started to have children. This is because the veterans experienced situations that they would not want their children to experience, due mostly to the expectations that soldiers could not meet but were still forced to try to obtain during Vietnam. Examples of this are not being able to feel remorse, or fear, and having to lose innocence in order to try and survive. These expectations were abolished as soon as the generations from Vietnam were raising children. This can also be seen in today's world because people are constantly told that they should be able to be whom they are without having to worry about how others perceive them. This is because the generations from Vietnam were tired of having to deal with expectations that were not realistic, and then taught their children that they do not have to be forced to live up to another person's expectations, they just have to live up to there own. 

